Comments on Romance Meets Life: What Causes Couples to Grow Apart?

Yes the grace of God and commons sense i.e. wisdom...

2012-02-04T08:41:26.086-08:00

Yes the grace of God and commons sense i.e. wisdom very much needed.

Yup.. sad is an understatement.. alot things are n...

2012-02-04T08:40:46.636-08:00

Yup.. sad is an understatement.. alot things are not respected anymore.... standards are falling so to speak "my people perish from lack of knowledge". very applicable in every stance of life...

lool... how random... sorry for the few chillings ...

2012-02-04T08:35:39.456-08:00

lool... how random... sorry for the few chillings loss.. its the economy.. hard times..

AMEN.. it shall be so contrary to the odds.

2012-02-04T08:31:29.845-08:00

AMEN.. it shall be so contrary to the odds.

AMEN.. NO DIVORCE.. I am with you on that one by h...

2012-02-04T08:30:31.278-08:00

AMEN.. NO DIVORCE.. I am with you on that one by his grace not mine..

I agree... there should be recognition for change...

2012-02-04T08:28:54.667-08:00

I agree... there should be recognition for changes ohh.. After all, changes in society, events, unforeseen circumstances will affect the duration of each individual including their relationships. Its like a business, everything is changing around you and you have to be aware of them and their impact. But, I guess for whatever reasons beyond my comprehension couples chose to sometimes walk a way.

I have invited God into our marriage not to just say I have only because it is what everybody does. But for accountability/responsibility and corrections reasons. I want to know that if any of us are wrong/slipping the holyspirit will minister to us about me and we will fix sharp sharp. To be honest I am for marriage and everything the bible says about it. Yet, it seems its meaning, purpose and visions are lost, all lost.

Btw way, only God knows about their foundation...

One more thing, sometimes separation in some marriages needs to occur cos sometimes people need to realise their mistakes and losses... Life is full of ups and downs, sometimes you have to hit the bottom to get back up.

Myne,inasmuch as all the listed help cause the bre...

2012-01-27T02:25:37.558-08:00

Myne,inasmuch as all the listed help cause the break,sometimes it just happens without explanation.The grace of God is what we all need.I was really sad when i head of Seal and Heidi's resolve,it was really sad.

Very well said Ms Myne. I agree with LDP, I think ...

2012-01-25T19:19:52.091-08:00

Very well said Ms Myne. I agree with LDP, I think people should ask themselves why they want to marry in the first place. There are so many people marrying for all the wrong reasons.

Serious talk..I think people dont respect the marr...

2012-01-25T17:11:05.282-08:00

Serious talk..I think people dont respect the marriage institution..its sad..

There are so many reasons that couples grow apart....

2012-01-25T15:38:51.499-08:00

There are so many reasons that couples grow apart. We dont know the reasons why they are parting ways but I wish both of them good luck.

Not married, but i've written about a similar ...

2012-01-25T15:20:40.032-08:00

Not married, but i've written about a similar experience in the context of friendships. For me growing apart means that you are like strangers to each other even though you might share a living space, children or other things. I think that as in any other relationship, growing apart happens when the people involved are no longer an important part of each other's lives. So you can pretty much get along without the other person and their presence is not relevant to your life since they don't add to or subtract anything from it.

One reason for this outcome could be people taking their relationships for granted and not putting in the effort needed to stay connected. Or you could have a situation where one person feels a distance but the other person thinks that everything is just fine and is oblivious to the need to make any changes to the way they relate to each other. The way i see it, chemistry can be spontaneous but love and intimacy need sustenance.

Today is a good day. I've spent some time on y...

2012-01-25T05:47:11.967-08:00

Today is a good day. I've spent some time on your mails, including the Seun chicken real-drama.

This divorce thing is about temporal and eternal reasons for why people marry. The temporal fade, the eternal stay. And where there exist no eternal reasons for the marriage, the passion fades as the temporal age and fade with time.

And where the eternal changes because like you state, priorities changed, the problem then becomes that of the Love passion making us thing the other human is extraordinary: full of miracles and perfection; never expecting they will change or that they can hurt. We fail to listen, and where we listen we fail to understand because while listening we have concluded our stance on what we want them to be or become, or on premonitions we hold. Here, love would mean a face, a person rather than a feeling.

I love Seal just like I love lighthouse family and this news is sad as the parting of the Lighthouse team. I had always thought his marriage was as solid as that Mr. & Mrs. W. Smith.

I'm almost crying.

I just baught 10 new Nokia 1800 mobile phone, for ...

2012-01-25T05:16:58.371-08:00

I just baught 10 new Nokia 1800 mobile phone, for 7 euros each.(1400 Naira), but the price changed to 12,99euros(2800 Naira) after fee hours!.., i was sad! this makes me sad instead of the topic here!

I also though this was a forever case. :( Rayo and...

2012-01-25T03:10:57.695-08:00

I also though this was a forever case. :(
Rayo and P.E.T you are so right. People change what you married 10 years ago is no longer the same today, or so I think because I'm no longer what I was either.
But communication is key. If its not there everything seems to go down so much quicker and you just can't talk to someone who's not your friend.

I heard the news really late...it honestly felt as...

2012-01-25T02:14:48.371-08:00

I heard the news really late...it honestly felt as bad as when I heard Brad pitt and Jennifer Aniston had divorced. The part I don't get with all of it is the 'Growing apart' excuse....how does that happen when they renew their vows every year?

"Grow Apart" what a word! I remember my ...

2012-01-24T23:11:12.203-08:00

"Grow Apart" what a word!
I remember my dad telling me a long time ago to "marry your friend, not your lover. Friendship lasts longer"
Then it seemed such a cynical statement, but now i understand the truth and wisdom of that statement.
And i totally agree with you, Myne. Early marriage at a time you are still discovering yourself is so much harder to make a success of.
For Heidi & Seal - very sad.

Thanks for the mention. All the points you raised ...

2012-01-24T22:17:15.601-08:00

Thanks for the mention. All the points you raised here can make a couple grow apart. Your theory of a love bank makes so much sense; but when only one person is depositing in the account and the other withdrawing, the depositor will always feel the strain. Communication is the water to make the rose garden of marriage blossom.

Yes, they were one of those couples who you always...

2012-01-24T21:03:24.809-08:00

Yes, they were one of those couples who you always thought would stay together forever. Another dream shattered!

FOr a couple that renewed their vows yearly I am b...

2012-01-24T19:45:25.900-08:00

FOr a couple that renewed their vows yearly I am beginning to think that after year 1 or 2 they stopped taking it seriously and used it as another reason to get away. If I were renewing vows like that, it would be a love catalyst for me ... I want to fall in love with my partner everyday.
Who knows what seal and heidi were facing behind closed doors.
all I can do is pray to have a love like the one God has planned for me. :-)

Sometimes the couple that displays the most PDA ma...

2012-01-24T18:34:01.245-08:00

Sometimes the couple that displays the most PDA may not exactly be the happiest couple.
It may be something they are doing to convince themselves and the world that their relationship is just fine when in fact it probably isn't.

Now that said, the truth of the matter is most people no longer want to work it out these days.
Single life looks that much enticing ....... until they get back into it and begin to feel all lonely again.

Before they realize they've made a mistake, stuff's gone too far.
One of them has probably re-married or even both....
And then the cycle continues.

This is my theory.

p.s- I rarely take Hollywood marriages seriously anyway, but the breakup/divorce after a few months/years bug has also hit REAL life.

Maybe in a way its trending. Cause for each time a...

2012-01-24T15:18:15.924-08:00

Maybe in a way its trending. Cause for each time a celebrity divorces after 72 days/6yrs/20yrs of marriage, some non-celebrity couple somewhere becomes emboldened to emancipate themselves from a supposedly non-working marriage.

While I am not a believer of stay in marriage at all costs especially when one partner is abusive, I belive that when two people marry and know its forever then they work harder at it. But so long as that divorce option is there, couples may tend to give up too easily.

The issues that lead to couples growing apart are ...

2012-01-24T15:13:18.425-08:00

The issues that lead to couples growing apart are plenty and varied, as the number of comments here would suggest. My fear is that things may even get worse especially where children are involved. What we forget is that the more marriages fail the more likely children from those marriages may experience unstable relationships/marriages themselves.

Whilst it's more convenient for couples to split than stay together, let us spare a thought for the children that needs to learn early in life what it means to love. I'm more worried about the legacy of divorce and broken relationships that may be left behind if we fail to make marriages work wherever possible.

I'm not married yet, but from what I've ob...

2012-01-24T13:34:08.988-08:00

I'm not married yet, but from what I've observed from successful marriages, I've seen it is not about two perfect people. It is about two imperfect people committing themselves to work through their differences. I sincerely pray that when I get married my marriage will last for a lifetime. So help me God.

For me, I think most people just dont get the enti...

2012-01-24T13:29:57.108-08:00

For me, I think most people just dont get the entire concept of marriage. When they say their vows, I wonder what they had in mind. Maybe the excitement of the ceremony is what makes them rush over those lines without thinking it through and true. Marriage is forever! Not for "as long as we 'feel' each other". Its not a business contract. You know what I love the most about this your post, " almost all of the marital issues listed above can be healed through discussion, spending time together/apart and possibly therapy" | You are right ma... almost all can be solved but people are no longer patient these days. I dont mind separating for a while for hurts to heal, but divorce is sure not an option.

- LDP

I have discovered that we humans are so superficia...

2012-01-24T10:53:37.436-08:00

I have discovered that we humans are so superficial, when things stop being fast paced, titilating and feeding to our most superficial needs, when things become hard and force us to stretch and grow, when things demand us to go beyond ourselves and leave our comfort zones, we'll rather run. For me personally, divorce will NEVER be an option;It's a choice I have made.