Episode 2 - In Which Joy and Ade Go Shopping Together [Fiction]
An hour later, Joy was wandering around the market, looking at the various wares on offer, with Ade grumbling behind.
“I knew I shouldn’t have gone with you”, he muttered angrily. “I should have run out of the room the moment your sweet tongue started to work. Look at us! We’ve been perambulating aimlessly around the market for God-knows-how-long, and I don’t even know what we’re looking for!”
Joy paused at a stall where handbags were being sold. She picked one up, then another, and turned round to Ade. “What do you think of these two?”
“How should I know? Are you not the one who chose them?”
“Ah-ah, why are you being like this now? OK, let’s just look at this, and I promise we’ll go home. I beg, now.”
Ade flared up. “You’ve been saying that for the last five stalls we’ve stopped at – why should I believe you, now?”
“Because I mean it this time. Look, I know that you’re not happy, and that it’s taken longer for me to find what I’m looking for – but I think I have what I want now. I just need your help in making my mind up.”
“Are you sure?”
“Are you really, really sure? Are you positive that you won’t change your mind and go back to a stall that you’ve previously been to, like you’ve done on a couple of occasions already?”
“Ade, why are you doing like this now? Haven’t I said ‘yes’ already?” Joy pleaded.
Ade took a deep breath. “OK, I think I prefer the black handbag with the light blue designs.”
Joy looked at his choice critically. “I don’t know… I’m not sure if I have shoes that match that handbag in my collection.”
“OK, then you can choose the other handbag, then” replied Ade, desperate to wrap things up.
“Hmm… I’m not sure – that brown is ‘one kind’…”
“What do you mean ‘one kind’? Wasn’t it you that picked both of them up? Why pick them up if you didn’t like them?”
“OK, abeg sorry o! It’s trial and error now… what about this one?”
“Or this one?”
“Hmm… this one, nko?”
“It’s magnificent! It’s spectacular! It’s resplendiferous!”
Joy gave Ade a disapproving look. “Ade, stop joking, now. You know that I really want you input here, and instead you’re throwing out all these big, big words.”
Ade grinned. “Ah, I’ve realised that the fastest way to escape from this hell is just to praise whatever you choose – otherwise, you will just keep on picking and choosing.”
“Ah-ah, that’s not fair, now. You know that as much as I want to look good for myself, I also want to look good for you too. How would you like it if I chose this bag?” And Joy lifted up a bag with a bizarre colour combination of shocking pink, lime green and electric orange.
Ade continued grinning. “Me – I don’t care what you pick. You know that I’m not so much tripped by fashion. But if you want to buy that bag, then yes, I’ll gladly say that it’s brilliantastic.”
Joy sighed. “Now I can tell that you really want to go. OK, go and wait in the car, and give me five minutes while I settle up with the seller.”
Ade walked away, smiling to himself. “Victory at last!” he grinned.
Half an hour later, Joy was in the car park by Ade’s car, fretting and waiting.
“He was the one who said he couldn’t wait to go home – now only God knows where he has disappeared to. He’s not even answering his GSM.” Joy picked up her phone and pressed the redial button again, but the phone rang again and again and then went to voicemail.
After waiting for a few minutes, Joy decided to go back into the market to look for Ade. She wandered around the stalls for a few minutes, and then her phone rang.
“Joy! It’s me o! Have you been trying to reach me?”
“Ade! Where are you? I’ve been waiting for you since! And what’s that noise in the background? I can barely hear you!”
There was an embarrassed pause at the other end. “Erm… it’s nothing. Look – I’m coming out now. I’ll be at the car within the next five minutes, I promise you.”
Joy made her way back to the car, and a short while after, she saw Ade emerging from the market holding a carton.
“Ade!” she cried. “So you have been badmouthing me for my shopping, and all this time you yourself have been doing some shopping of your own!”
Ade shook his head. “It’s not like that at all. I didn’t set out to go shopping – I just stumbled upon this electronic shop. So I thought I should just take a quick look to see what they had in stock…”
“Quick look! What kind of quick look were you looking that took nearly half an hour? Ade, na wa for you o!”
“Abeg, stop making mouth!” Ade retorted. “Look at Madam Blackest Pot calling Mister Shiny Kettle black! As if you too are not notorious for your own quick looks that stretch to even more than an hour.”
Joy laughed, then frowned “But how come you didn’t answer the phone? I called you at least three times, and you didn’t pick up!”
“Oh, well the shop I went into had a good range of powerful speakers, so I wanted to test them to see which one I might want. At the time you called, the speakers must have been playing full volume, so they must have drowned out the phone ringtone. But I got the speakers I wanted in the end, anyway”, and Ade hoisted up the carton as if to show off his trophy.
“Well, I finally decided to choose the pink, green and orange bag in the end, as you recommended”, said Joy, and seeing the look of horror on Ade’s face, she laughed. “I’m just joking – but I thought you said you didn’t care?”
“Of course I don’t care. It’s just the thought of your friends shunning you for your crimes against fashion that I couldn’t bear, that’s all.”
“Anyway, I hope that you are at least happy that you go something you wanted, and you won’t be so opposed to following me shopping the next time I ask”, Joy said, smiling as she got into the car.
“Oh I won’t be opposed… now that I know that there are sections in the market that I too can drag you around and ask you for your opinions on things that you care very little about,. I won’t be opposed at all, said Ade, smiling right back, as he he started the car up.