Yesterday, it went viral that a Pastor of CLAM church, Wole Oladiyun warned that Oral Sex was not for Christians. Maybe he read my earlier blog post about Nigerian men and oral sex, or maybe his wife did, and asked him for some, hehehe. The man sparked o. In his words, "... men and women sucking their private parts are equally damaging their glories. Demonic partners have done a lot of havoc through this act. Honestly, it is simply unhygienic and dirty."
Now, I don't understand the first part of his comment about oral sex damaging people's glories, or demonic partners, maybe that is what he teaches in his church as doctrine and dogma. If so, I can't really address it, I am not a pastor obviously, nor his church member. But the second part exposes that his bias and personal opinion is what is majorly driving his condemnation of oral sex.
Can oral sex be dirty and unhygienic? Yes. If a man or a woman is not clean and hygienic, or take good care of their genital health, there is a great likelihood they will be smelly, or harbor unwanted fauna and flora in that area. Indeed, cases have been reported of thrush and other mouth and throat infections that come from having oral sex. The more sexual partners the person has, and the more lax they are about keeping themselves healthy, the more likely this is that diseases may be passed.
However, the assumption is that married people are faithful to each other, or maybe I'm just hoping. Also, being married, you most times become automatically sexually active and have to learn to take care of your genital health even more. You wash up regularly, have your check up for STIs, and always make sure you smell clean and fresh before you try to initiate oral sex. If all these check out, and both man and woman are in the mood for some good loving, then let the fun begin!
So how does this affect Christians? Eya asked on her blog about the biblical basis of pastors who condemn oral sex or about Christians allowing themselves to enjoy oral sex, and this is what I have learned on the matter.
There are passages in Songs of Solomon that actually promote how couples can enjoy their sexuality and different aspects of sex. I think more Christians need to remove their bias against sex and read the whole of SOS with new adult eyes. Usually garden and fruits are used to refer to female and male private parts.
As an apple tree among the trees of the forest,With that said, the bible is just an instruction manual, for the believing Christian, our full direction comes from the Holy Spirit in us. If your conscience makes you uneasy, then it may not be for you. But be sure it is the spirit, sometimes, wrong things we learned in the world can distract us from hearing the spirit clearly. Like someone said, God is not an author of confusion. If your wife or your husband wants oral sex, and you deny him or her, you are flouting the some bible instructions.
so is my beloved among the young men.
With great delight I sat in his shadow,
and his fruit was sweet to my taste.
(Song of Solomon 2:3 ESV)
a garden fountain, a well of living water,
and flowing streams from Lebanon.
Awake, O north wind,
and come, O south wind!
Blow upon my garden,
let its spices flow.
Let my beloved come to his garden,
and eat its choicest fruits.
(Song of Solomon 4:15-16 ESV)
1 Corinthians 7:3-6 :
The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. I say this as a CONCESSION, not as a command.
At the end of the day, it is to each their own.