I have been seeing this guy for about 8 months now and on the 30th of Dec, he told me that he has another girl he's been dating for 7 years. He said the girl has been good to him and he knows she will make a good wife just the way he knows I will too but the problem is that she's not from the same tribe as him. He's Igbo which i am too and the other lady is Hausa and he wants to marry an igbo.
The girl came to Nigeria from UK to visit him and they went to his village together. He said that it means nothing and that he hasn't made up his mind to marry the girl cos he doesn't love her which i found very lame and silly. But one day i went through his chats with the girl and on three occasions, the girl told him "i love you" and he didn't respond. The girl in one of their chats told him that she knows he doesn't love her but that he should stop treating her the way he treats her.
On Sunday, we mistakenly exchanged phones (we use the same phones) and i found out that they were calling each other hubby and wifey. He told her that he its not easy to marry an Hausa babe and they were already planning their lives together. I was not entirely shocked but i was mad at him for lying to me. I have been teasing and asking him to tell me if he has proposed to the girl and he kept telling me that he's not married to anybody. What hurts me most is that he made it look like both of us might still have a chance to be man and wife, One day i jokingly said his nephew will marry my future daughter and he replied sharply "what if i marry you?'
I've come to love this guy so much and whenever i imagine my marriage, it's him i always see as my hubby. he's got virtually all i want in a man. Our communication is almost perfect and we understand each other very well. He listens to me whenever i have anything to say even though he might not do what i want, he just listens and i like that.No matter how angry or upset i get him, he just keeps quiet and ignore me.He has never shown me any sign of violence, he tells me virtually everything. In my 8 months of dating him, i can say i know almost know every thing about him and he confirmed by telling me that no girl has ever gotten to know so much about him in a short period.
He told me that he could go on and on talking to me but with the other girl he's known for 7 years, they don't even talk up to an hour. Recently he said that if we don't end up together that he will be tempted to cheat on his wife with me and that if he has so much money, he will buy me a house, car and make me his forever so that i won't have to be with any other man. Then I asked him 'if you like me so much like this and i like you too, why can't we just be together forever?' and he couldn't answer.
Ok since after the Sunday incident, he hasn't called and i haven't either. I decided to seek the face of God (by praying and fasting) on the issue and even had to talk to a woman of God. She called me this morning and told me to pray that God should cause anyone holding what is mine to release it and she said that God confirmed to him that the guy is my husband and that the lady in question is a strange woman. I don't believe that one should go to a pastor to get revelation from God especially as regards marriage but because i'm in a very confused state, i had to go to the woman of God.
Please i need advice on what to do. I love this guy so much and won't want to loose him which it seems i have already. I have told God to give me a sign. Told him that if the guy is mine, let him call me before Sunday but if he isn't, he should should give me a clear sign and equally make me to accept the reality of loosing him. It took me more than 3 years to fall in love after my last relationship in 2009.
My friend tells me that i'm too choosy and uptight, i tell her its not true that i simply know what i want and don't want to compromise. I grew up seeing my dad abuse my mom and that is not what i want to pass through so i'm very careful when it comes to men. this is the only guy that my heart opened up to and he broke down my defenses which i didn't have a problem with and now he's about to slip away from me. Myne please what do i do? Post it for your readers to advise me cos i'm lost. Thanks and God bless you.