Dear Myne - He Almost Raped Me, Should I Report Him?



Dear Myne, I am such a dilema and very hurt. I am in my mid 20s and work as a researcher somewhere in Europe and was presenting at a conference this week. The lodging was in a flat with 2 guys ( the venue was a resort), I had my own room and so did the guys.

However, after a trip to the city, one of the guys (non-Nigerian) had to do something in the city, leaving me with this other guy. I didnt think anything was amiss, we gisted, chatted and I told him I want to take a nap, so as to wake up to do some work.

Somewhere in the night, I felt a movement around me and I saw this guy naked! I started screaming and he was asking that I stopped. I was so terrified. In my shock, I went into the patio and found a place to sleep. Called my boyfriend in the UK, and he was very angry and he asked me to walk the guy out of the apartment ( I could because, he was staying an extra night, based on his travel schedule. I made arrangement with my other colleague as a means of helping a brother from home).


With my boyfriend on Skype video recording the events, I walked him out at 3,30am. I feel so disturbed that someone I tried to help with accomodation could do this. Also, my bestie thinks I should report to the research consortium. But I feel bad, especially as they have a mindset about Nigerians already, and am trying to build a network between the institution and partners in Nigeria. I am so torn between reporting him and also protecting emerging opportunities for other Nigerians.

Besides, he is young guy, barely in his 30s, newly married and new to the country. By reporting him, things might go quite south for him. My boyfriend thinks am crazy to be this considerate and he has said it is my 'over-niceness' that puts me in trouble. Do you think I should report him to the consortium and then the authorities. Moreover, he was just a guest, doesnt work with the consortium or live in the city.

I am finding it so hard to work right now and the next few days are filled with deadlines. Myne, I need help, need to forget this incidence and focus on the work before me. My boyfriend thinks I should forget it especially as I woke up before he could achieve his aim. What do you think?