What do Women Really Want from Men?”

A fellow blogger (male) recently asked me the ancient question no one has found an answer to, viz:

“What do women want from men?”

I want to believe he asked me this because he sees me as this all-knowing feminine oracle, but I know better. I don’t know what ALL women want from men, but I know what I want. And I know what my friends say they want, so here goes…

I, woman, want…

- To lounge around the house sans makeup, in my ratty t-shirt, flip flops and jeans shorts if I feel like it to enjoy the feeling of my own skin.

- To wake up late on Saturday morning and find that you’ve done all the chores.

- To wake up on any morning with your arms around me.

- To wake up sometimes with you at the other end of the bed ( this applies ESPECIALLY if we’re married, because sometimes I just need to get away from you, but still be close to you…don’t try to understand this conundrum, just accept it!).

- To eat chocolate dipped in ice cream at 2am without gaining a single kilogram.

- To be comfortable enough around you to show you the REAL ME. Not the bright witty girlfriend, the hardworking wife, or the capable mother. The ME that stays up at night listening to you snore and wondering if the baby has flipped over on her back again, if the PHCN bill has been paid, and where next term’s school fees need to be squeezed out from. The me that wonders how long we will do this boyfriend/girlfriend thing before you realise that I need a firm commitment so I can plan my life. I wear so many masks and I am so many different things to so many different people that I need to know that with you, my man, I can be me.

- To NOT go with you to the gym, because while my mouth is saying I’m ogling the cute young gym instructor, my eyes are actually shooting daggers at the perky young 20-something with the bubble butt on the treadmill who’s been giving you the eye since we walked in!

- To NOT have to deal with your mother unless I’ve heavily fortified myself with alcohol and/or Bible verses about long-suffering. Because to be honest, my love, I only ever THINK about the word “long-suffering” when your mother comes to visit.

- To get a text from you once a week that says “You are the most incredible, thoughtful, gorgeous, intelligent creature I have ever met! Thank you for sharing your life with me, Princess”…well, AT LEAST once a week!

- To have you understand that I do not like soccer, you can’t make me like soccer, and no amount of cajoling, begging, raking or remote stealing will ever make me like soccer! Do I try to force you to like shopping?

- To come home sometimes and hear you say “We’re eating out tonight.” Music to my exhausted ears!

- To have you tell me you love me. I know, but it’s still nice to hear it.

 - To feel confident with you. Unless I’ve competed in beauty pageants, I probably don’t always feel I am looking my best. Your job is to assure me that I look fabulous, even if I’m in a ratty t-shirt, shorts and flip flops.

 To know that you’re paying attention and not just nodding in all the right places. Because sometimes I tell you my problems just for the sake of telling you, not because I need you to fix them or advise me.

- To know that you still find me attractive, even though we both know that wearing these jeans is a bit of a fashion abomination.

- To drive. Just drive. Not with you in the passenger seat telling me where, when and who to signal and lurching suddenly across my line of sight to the rear view mirror because you want to hold the steering wheel. I mean, if na so the driving dey shak u, u for collect key for house naaa, bros!

- To have you understand that I am strong enough for both of us, but I shouldn’t HAVE to be because YOU are the man. Step up to the plate and give me someone I can submit to with pride and respect.

- To climb a mountain, run a marathon, save a child’s life, achieve world peace, become a doctor/lawyer/governor/queen. Yes, they may be foolish pipe dreams to you, and they may be unachievable, but I don’t NEED to achieve them, I just need to know that you’re my strongest supporter.

But most of all, I want you, dearest ….(Husband/Boyfriend/Fill in the Blank)to know that I love you, and that we’re in this boat together, believe it or not.

It may not seem like it, but I really am grateful to God for giving me you, and I tell Him so every single day!

I love you.


This was published as "What do women want?" on Naijastories by hotchocolate. You can check out the other work on her portfolio here.