Is Loneliness a Reason to Get Married?
This question came in through the search keywords and was directed to this post which listed some of the reasons men get married. However, while that post lists loneliness as one reason, it did not say how it worked out for those who married out of loneliness. Also, marrying because one is alone may work for men, but how does it work for women if it was a woman asking Google that question?
Let's be sure of what loneliness is or is not. When you're a private person, an introvert or a loner, you're not necessarily lonely. A lot of us need our me-time or alone-time once in a while, some more than others. Loneliness however, is more deep, more psychological than social.
Loneliness is a constant lack of contact with other people, even when the person wants to be. It is the feeling of isolation, when you find it hard to make a connection with a special someone for intimacy, including physical and emotional.
Indeed, many people get married because loneliness makes them desperate. However, feeling like that makes one more likely to make poor love choices and they could end up in unfulfilling relationships. Marriage is not a magic pill to cure loneliness, if you did not make the connection with your spouse before you got married, it is unlikely that a wedding will do the trick.
What will happen is that you will remain lonely even after marriage. Such a relationship is especially painful because now you have someone around, but you can't even talk or connect to them.
I was 30 when I met Atala and though there had been one or two people before him, there had also been one or two episodes where I was lonely when I needed to have someone. You know those times you get either a good news, or a bad news, and you need very badly to share, to hug somebody, to laugh with someone, to cry on a shoulder instead of a tissue. So yeah, I know being lonely is hard.
Most people I've spoken with are afraid of being alone, either right now or when they imagine being single in their older years. A lot of women depending on their personality, or when they get to a certain age, begin to think of their current toaster, no matter how unmatched they are, as the last option.
Remember, while marriage is good, and to be desired, with the wrong person, or for the wrong reasons, it can be worse than any hell one can imagine. While I accept there are no guarantees in life, I believe marriage should only be a way to build on an already established and successful relationship, any other reason for signing on the dotted lines may be leading to disaster down the road.