To Love and Let go by Annabella


Damilola shifted uncomfortably in the plush settee, she had been in one position too long. It was late, 10pm, but to Damilola it was as good as past midnight. She had been expecting him home for the past two hours and his two phones were off. She still sat pensively in front of the TV not really seeing any humour in the antics of Nkem Owoh’s character in the Nollywood movie. For a moment she forgot her anger and said a quick, worried prayer for Dotun.

Fidgety, she got up and walked past pictures of both them on the way to the kitchen. She absently opened the pots checking the already cool ogbono soup, his favourite and her specialty. She frowned as she thought of how she had been making all his favourites of recent; just as often as she confronted him for his late nights. Some headlights flashed across her face from the kitchen windows. She leaned forward to see the gate through the mosquito-netted window. The gate man did not leave his sedentary post so she knew Dotun had not come. She momentarily considered warming up the soup but decided not to so it would not taste burnt.

She had a look at the time again in the sitting room. It was just a quarter past 10. She sighed as she picked up her Interior Decoration magazines. The Abayomi’s 70th birthday party was 2 weeks away and she wanted to finalize the list of things she would need to decorate the hall. Dotun had been the one to push her to start her event and interior decoration business. He had paid for the training, put up the capital and even opened up his contact list for her to get clients. He said he wanted her to keep busy so she wouldn’t worry about him so much. It had worked for a while, when she worked so hard on impressing his friends. Now she was a household name with the event planning companies, judging by the amount of referrals she had gotten. She had even surprised herself with the designs she came up with; to think she had been a house wife and home maker all these years. She remembered the day he came for one of the bigger events she had managed, he had looked around in amazement at the champagne and peach coloured wonderland and said he was so proud of her. She admitted to herself she was more driven to impress him than anything else, she always invited him to all her events. A momentary reawakening washed over her. She felt stupid smiling at herself behind a magazine in an empty house.

It was 10:32 now. Some months ago she had complained that he worked too hard and he started coming home early and bringing the office with him. But now she knew it wasn’t work. She smiled worriedly to herself wondering if she should have a drink. Her phone rang. It was Millicent Abayomi, her good friend as well as client who was throwing the birthday party for her husband. Millicent was telling her about her last daughter Tina who had come back from overseas. She had been in Nigeria for a while to do some work and would come for her father’s party. Millicent was so excited. Damilola said ‘really’ and ‘hmmm’ed at the right places. When the call ended she lay down on the couch to watch Nkem Owoh.

By past 11pm she heard the distinct sound of the gate opening. She quickly turned the lights low and turned the TV off. She lay down once more on the couch and pretended to sleep. She heard him talking outside. He was on the phone. It was all muffled. Then silence, his key opened the back door and she almost didn’t hear his footfalls as he entered. She imagined the back door close silently. He was definitely sneaking. She heard him speak in an undertone. This time she heard enunciations.

“But you know… Soon… Yea, am in the house now… Yea, me too… Tomorrow ” Silence.

She didn’t hear him anymore and wondered what was happening. She pretended to stir and awaken and looked directly at him. He was tiptoeing past the sitting room with his shoes in his hands. It was almost comical the way he froze mid-creep like a cat-burglar.

“Dotun,” she tried to keep the accusation out of her voice. He relaxed and smiled sheepishly. “Err… Good Evening…”

“It’s late,” she said but she worried how accusatory that sounded.

“Am sorry. There was traffic…” he tried to explain.

“Your phones were off,” she cut him off. She felt like a broken record. Hadn’t she said that yesterday?

“I know, my batteries were low so I turned them off to save power in case I needed to make an emergency call”

She stood up and folded her arms. “I told you to send me a text letting me know before you leave work that you are going to be late,” she glared at him.

“Mi Lady!” he called her by her pet name and went over to hug her. She moved away. “My sweet Lady Dami! Big Mommy Dami!” he continued. When he saw it wasn’t working he tried another tactic. “Look, I know I should have done that, it’s this new contract that’s keeping me busy. These foreign contractors are really meticulous and detail oriented… and I am really sorry.”

He pretended to sulk. “Pleeeeeease?” He then continued with the pet names he had invented for her over the years.

“Okay, okay, stop,” she smiled giving in. She allowed him hug her and give her a peck on the cheek. She smelt his
breath and went cold inside. It was worse than the smell of alcohol.

“Mi Lady, it’s late. Let’s get to bed,” Dotun said tiredly.

“But your food? You can’t go to bed hungry after all that traffic,” she said with conviction, starting towards the kitchen then she stopped and turned around hearing something like a whimper from him. “You didn’t eat at those funny roadside bukas, did you?”

“No-no!” he said hurriedly knowing she hated local food restaurants.

“After all that traffic you must be starved…” she said to him softening. “Or did you eat?” she asked looking directly at him.

“Err, No…” he hesitated.

“Good, I made your favourite!” she smiled and entered the kitchen.

It was priceless seeing him unsuccessfully disguise his pained look as he saw what she had prepared. It served him right for eating Ogbono soup from another woman outside their home.

*

It was the day of the Abayomi party. Damilola had finished overseeing the final touches of the leaf green and gold decorations of the hall and some guests were arriving. Leaving her assistant to liaise with the caterers she finally had some time to sit down, and not too soon Dotun entered her mind. He had not improved at all. He had started working overnight now, which he never had to do before. He hadn’t even come home last night, he called to tell her he would meet her at the party. She was worried. There was a woman, she was sure now. She had heard his phone conversation the other day while she washed up in the kitchen and he was in the living room. She heard him laugh and then…

“No, we can do that soon… Relax! Of course! I … you too.” She had strained to hear what he said properly and cursed the soapy glass that slipped and crashed to the floor. What had he said? Miss? Love? Who was she and how far along had they gotten? She had so many questions.

“My friend! Relax. It’s no time to be moody!” It was Millicent. Well into her sixties she was still as agile and playful as she loved to talk. She was really excited as the party for her husband was partly a surprise party. He thought it was just a family get together but all his close friends and colleagues were expected. Millicent pulled her into the private backroom prepared for immediate family and they waited for the party to start. Damilola, in the quiet there, told of her fears about Dotun and the other woman. Millicent laughed her fears away and gave her advice on how to handle it. She then changed the topic and started talking about Tina. She complained that it had been hard convincing her to come down to Nigeria for the party but she eventually came but brought work with her so they hardly saw her.

“But she’s still a good girl. She cooked soup for us the week before last. Can you imagine that?! She still remembers how you taught her to do it! Do you remember? Your specialty,” Damilola vaguely remembered a scrawny girl she had given some cooking lessons to some years back. By the time the rest of Millicent’s children had arrived Damilola felt she had known Tina for the whole time she had been away. Soon Mr Abayomi arrived, it was clearly conveyed to all guests that yelling ‘Surprise!’ would be suspended because of his age. Instead an Afro juju Band would sing in his honour and he would be accompanied to the high table by a talking drum. Mr Abayomi was more agile than his age suggested, he danced in a circle around the hall then to the high table and the MC got the party underway. There was music, dancing and comedy and soon presentations from the immediate family started. Millicent invited Damilola to stay beside her on the high table. Damilola searched in vain for Dotun.

“Why are you so tense Dami? Relax,” Millicent said to her.

“Dotun is late.” Damilola replied.

“Oh, so is my Tina. I hope she makes it for her presentation. She has been late for everything since she came back to Nigeria. ” Millicent said worriedly. Damilola tried to relax and laugh at the speeches of Millicent’s other children.

“There’s Tina finally!” Millicent exclaimed. Damilola turned and saw Dotun coming towards her. He was late. She showed her displeasure by giving him a poor reception.

“Mi lady,” he started with the usual sweet words but she was not having any of it. He took a chair beside her and they had a whispered conversation.

“I’m tired of all this Dotun! You are always late, you don’t call and you have started staying overnight God knows where!” she was hurt, she missed her husband. He patiently tried to pacify her, putting his arm around her. “There is a woman.” She said matter-of-factly, looking away at the last child, Tina, as she took the microphone from the MC. Tina was now a very beautiful woman. From all she had heard Damilola knew she would make a good wife to a special man.

“Yes,” he replied. She hadn’t known when she held her breath. She released it.

“And?” she asked still looking at Tina but not hearing her.

“Mommy Dami,” he started a whispered confession in her ear. “I know you are upset about how I have been lately but it has been work. ‘She’ is one of the people I have been working with. And you know her.”

“I do?” Damilola was shocked. She stared at him. He was looking at Tina.

“Yes Mom. You do.” Damilola thought of Millicent’s advice. If he finds a good girl it’s time to let him go.

“Tina keeps telling me about how you taught her to make Ogbono soup so long ago.” Damilola knew she would take Millicent’s advice when Tina came to kneel in greeting before her. If only her husband, Dotun’s father were alive to see this day. Their son had finally found a wife.

__________

Published as Love and Let go on Naijastories.com. Check out other stories by Annabella.

Passion on the Plains by Sherita Smedley - Author Spotlight

Sherita Smedley has a Master's of Arts in Creative Writing from National University and her freelance articles for www.blackprint.cc, include "Feminism vs. Womanism", "Post Pregnancy: The Misshapen Body", and "Army Wives, Army Lies". She has also done "how to" articles for demandstudios.com. Her short story "The Hour", a fictional account of a runaway slave's escape to freedom has been published in National University's GNU.

In her spare time she loves to read, crochet, knit, volunteer in the children ministry at Destiny World Outreach Center, and to spend time with her family. She resides with her husband and two children in Texas. Sherita Smedley's current work is an inspirational historical romance novel titled, "Passion on the Plains."


Summary of the book:

Kara Mae Malone never wanted to ask for outside help, especially not from a man. At the request of her mother she hired Jake Henry, a new ranch hand, to help her run the farm. Kara decided to run him off, but adversely fell for him. However, to her surprise she did not realize that Jake had been hired by the rich Mr. Hillmond to ruin her and take her farm. Jake was on board until he became intoxicated with her and decided he would do anything to protect her. Through a terrible storm, a devastating battle, and a horrific court case their love continued to blossom until they were married and became pregnant. However, with all this love Mr. Hillmond was determined to make Jake pay for betraying him.

What made you write the book?

I loved reading historical romance novels as a teenager, but was discouraged when I could not find any with African-American characters. I wanted to be able to see my characters on the cover, instead of having to imagine them in my mind. When my husband went on his first deployment, I figured it was time to explore my love for writing more and begin this journey. The reason it is a historical is because I wanted to not only show love, but to take my readers to a time when love was daring and history was being made in the west.

What was your process of writing:

Before I start any writing project, I begin with an outline of my chapters or possible scenes for the manuscript. It was easier to change sections around when it was in outline form versus having to move around whole chapters. Having an outline really helped me when it came to the editing process and adding additional subplots. I also kept a detailed character sheet in case I needed to refer to the characteristics or background history of any character. I would designate time in my little corner office to write or go to the local bookstore for some hot coffee and several hours of quiet writing time. I found it beneficial to not write at home because of distractions.

How long did it take you?

The original manuscript took me eight weeks to write, but a year later I went back and added more chapters and subchapters until it was at 70,000 plus words.

Why the setting?

The story begins in 1886 out west in a freedman’s colony called Lincolnton. This part of Kansas had many African-Americans and minorities moving there to escape prejudice from the South.

Tell us about the characters:

My heroine Kara Mae Malone is half African-American/Cherokee Indian. She has had to become strong at a young age with the death of her father and only her left behind to help her mother take care of the family farm. She does not want to hire and outsider for fear they may come and take her farm, since they are running low on money. Kara has turned down every suitor and feels she does not have the time for love.

My hero, Jake Henry, is Lumbee Indian. He has decided to move west with his mother and sister to escape prejudice in North Carolina. Although he had promised his father years ago that he would settle down and let go of his wild past, Jake had no intention of getting married.
Although they are both stubborn and strong willed; they each share a love for family. I love having diverse characters, which makes the story more complex and appeals to more readers.

What is your advice to other writers?

One piece of advice I would give to all writers is to keep going, no matter how many “no’s” come in the mail. Once I made up in my mind that I was not going to stop until my story was out, I then left it in the Lord’s hands. Also keep a note pad or word document with any ideas or dreams, which could be possible stories for the future.


Full Book Blurb

Kara Mae Malone never thought of herself as the damsel in distress. She and her mother narrowly survived the brutal Indian attack that killed her father, and years later, Kara’s heart is hardened and reluctant to love. With her widow mother getting older though, she has to take care of the family farm alone. The local rich bachelor and ladies’ man, Mr. Hillmond, often comes calling, and her refusals just make his advances stronger.
At the stern advice of her mother, Kara reluctantly hires Jake Henry, the fetching new stranger in town, to help on the farm. But she dare not trust him with her heart. However, true love cannot be hidden, and the two are eventually drawn together. Kara can no longer deny her feelings, and she soon discovers what real love is. Chance brings them together, but it is the love of God that heals their wounds and gives them the desires of their heart.

Be Safe as Hurricane Sandy Makes Land Fall


The phone calls started yesterday, as friends and family called to be sure it wasn't our Washington that was in the way of Hurricane Sandy. We assured them that was DC and we're all this way over on the other side of the country. I was even flippant, saying it couldn't be worse than maybe some rain and flooding. It was jarring to listen to the evening news after a busy day and hear of death tolls and destruction.







I just want to use this opportunity to wish everyone well who lives on the path of the super storm. Please remain safe. There might be no electricity, but there are fire hazards, and other dangers, especially drowning in the flood waters. Ready.gov has these tips among others on how to stay safe during a hurricane.

Stay indoors during the hurricane and away from windows and glass doors.
Close all interior doors – secure and brace external doors.
Keep curtains and blinds closed. Do not be fooled if there is a lull; it could be the eye of the storm – winds will pick up again.
Take refuge in a small interior room, closet or hallway on the lowest level.
Lie on the floor under a table or another sturdy object.
Avoid elevators.

For those who live in the area and want to offer hands-on help, you can visit the Red Cross website to see where you can do so. If, like me, you are very far from the areas of the East Coast affected by Sandy, there are still many ways you can help. The Red Cross has suggestions on how people can help in raising money.

Nse Ikpe on Friendship, Finding a Man and Hobbies


Nse Etim Ikpe is a nollywood actress and has been nominated and won some awards that prove how good she is. She features in a lot of the new nollywood movies and in a recent interview, she talked about what she thinks about friends and friendship, her adventures in finding a man, and some of her hobbies. Enjoy...

What makes someone earn your friendship?

Honestly, you know friendship is two ways but I always say for you to be able to be my friend and I your friend, I must be able to make excuses for you. It means I will not judge you ever. No matter what you do, I will see why you did it from your stand point. Even if it’s wrong, I will understand why you did it because you had told me. I will trust you for it. For instance, I might not see you all the time but we are very close. Some people will take offence; our friendship will cease to be. I have friends I don’t see, the day we see, we continue where we stopped.

They do not judge. They do not feel bad. As my friend, if you feel I’ve done wrong, do not judge, call me to ask me and I will explain why I did it. That’s what I owe you and that’s what you owe me. Friendship is not about getting up and shouting, ha na my paddy then tomorrow I go away. I don’t like to have surface friendships. I like to have friends and if they are my friends I will keep the circle small. That’s fine! But I can have acquaintances. I have people I talk to. I can laugh with anybody. At the same time I don’t have to laugh because not every day is okay for laughter.

As regards marriage, do you have reservations about certain tribes?

No, I don’t. I just think a good man is a good man.

There was a time you said it’s difficult to get a good man; do you still have that notion?

Is it not hard? I’ve checked it; all the good ones are taken. All the ones that have light shining on them are not the ones I’m looking for. I’m just waiting for the one that God will pop up and I will just say, hey! I’m right here. I think a relationship starts with having a friend. It starts with friendship, you get to know someone eventually something can happen or will not happen. You cannot force anything. You cannot say because society says it, then I must be married. What dirty respect? What if the man doesn’t even respect me? I want the society to respect me. Which one is more important at this point in time?


We know a lot of them are taken, but is that to say you haven’t seen any good one?

So I should go and collect somebody’s boyfriend now?

Exactly what are you looking for in a man?

You know when I find that thing I will tell you. I’ve said all sorts in different interviews but I think over the years I just streamlined it, I want a man who I can feel safe with. It’s not about money. But a man that you know has your back. That’s enough.

What about the biological clock…?

My biological clock is not ticking anymore. I stopped it from ticking and when I want it I will tell it to start (laughs). I’m in control of this thing men.

On those days when you are stressed out, what calms you?

Cooking calms me a lot. When I can’t sleep at night, I cook. I read a lot. I think that no knowledge is ever lost and reading brings a wealth of knowledge. If you constantly go there you can never lack. One thing I pray for is that our generation, the one after me actually, I’m hoping, will tell our kids to read.

My parents did that. They helped me to do that. I remember someone saying that I speak well. Them no dash me. I read a lot. I see a word I don’t know, I mark it down. I say to myself what does it mean. What’s its origin? Is it Greek? Is it French? Those are the questions I ask myself. So when you know these things when you are pronouncing it, it’s as if your father is a professor. Sometimes, I hang out with my friends. It’s therapeutic when I talk to my friends and let go of my fears. I also like to be alone a lot of the time, which is funny. I can just lie on the bed and just stay there.




Source - Interview, Pictures.

The Bino and Fino Show Fund Raising Campaign


Is there any parent here wanting a more African or Nigerian TV content for their kids? Bino and Fino is an African educational cartoon show, currently in production, about a brother and sister who live in a modern day city in sub-Saharan Africa. A 24-minute TV feature of the show has been broadcast in the UK, South Africa, online for free, and at festivals. To help complete a 26 episode first season, the filmmakers have started a campaign to raise $50,000.

Bino and Fino is created by Adamu Waziri, a Nigerian animator and produced by his company EVCL, and is for children mainly between the ages of 3 and 6. The series teaches aspects of African history, culture and languages to them. In each episode Bino and Fino, with the help of their friend Zeena the Magic Butterfly and their family, discover and learn things about the world.

With the funds raised, EVCL will be able to produce the 26 episode season and get it to market. $50,000 is only part of the budget needed. The project has already received production funding from various private investors and institutions. The show has been featured on Vox Africa, CNN, the BBC amongst others. It's also already received interest from sales agents, broadcasters and distributors.

The goal is a 2013 debut of the series.




Here are some quotes from fans on the show's Facebook Page.

‘I LOVE BINO AND FINO, and so does my son!!!’

‘We don’t have African cartoons so this coming now is a breath of fresh air. But I’d love it if kids can get to watch it on local stations. Job well done.’

‘Our daughter, 19 months old, just counted to 10 in Yoruba while watching Bino and Fino!’

You can ‘like’ the Bino and Fino Facebook page here. http://www.facebook.com/binoandfino

Watch the Pilot episode here http://youtu.be/rQ5sOMOYwkQ and then head over to their

Make your contribution at the Indiegogo crowdfunding campaign here http://igg.me/p/221599?a=34228.

By supporting the producers of this show, you will be a part of introducing a new African voice into the world of children’s entertainment.


Why do women turn a blind eye to Infidelity? Search #2


This particular topic has been discussed in several posts we've done on Infidelity but not really from this perspective. The closest I could find was on the reason Nigerian marriages are such a farce. But beyond naija and our issues, why do women generally turn a blind eye to their men cheating? The biggest name you'll hear the most often is Hilary Clinton, and she is still with her husband, Bill Clinton. Thoughts?



Dear Myne - How do I tell him I'm no more interested?


Dear all, please I need your help? I have a boyfriend, and we have been dating for one year now, and our parent know each oda as boyfriend and girlfriend. I dont know what happened, but I am tired of the relationship. I hardly saw my boyfriend in the past few months. First, it was because of his youth service - he was posted to Lokoja - but now he is back and he still doesn't have my time. I had to beg him to talk to me in those days but now I am just tired of everything.

Because I am not really feeling the relationship, I want a break up. The problem is that I don't know how to tell him. Please could you help and I want to hear other people's comments. Tanx so much.

I think she should just tell him what she has said here. What are your thoughts?


______
*This dear myne email was edited for clarity.

Houston Grey - Turn Me On : Music Meets Romance



I liked the mellow tunes in this song, which kind of reminded me of some parts of the K'Naan SA World cup anthem. The video itself is also well made. Enjoy...

Infertility, Bravery, Building Networks of Support


Sometimes the unfairness of my infertility bugs me and I am tempted to compare. Why is that teenager having a child after just one sexual encounter and after years of loving sex with my husband, I can't? How could that 60 years old woman who did IVF in South Africa have had twins and I had a failed IVF? Atala and I had been pretty decent human beings, so why did we have to suffer this delay and difficulty is building our family?

Then I think about it, and I realize that God did not make a mistake when he chose me. Some women are devastated by infertility but that is not me. Some women have husbands that would taunt them with their condition or even throw them out, again, that is not me.

Sometimes we have a problem, and we get locked down in bitterness at the unfairness of it all. We imagine we know what people will say, and we judge them even before they have the opportunity to judge us. We forget to look around, and see that we do have support. God is our rock, and he usually places helpers around us. We need to learn to allow people to help us. And we need to reach out and accept that support.

If that support is really not available, you can also tap into the strength in you and build one. Yes, I am by no means brave, but I told myself, you can do it. I am still not brave. Every day as I think of publishing these posts, thoughts of doubt cloud my mind. Of course I know there is judgement, and some of the responses make me realize some are not really reading. But I still press publish. Why?

Because I definitely can feel the support from you guys. It is like crowd surfing, you throw your self out there with faith, but also with fear, and there is amazing joy when you feel the arms around you, catching you, touching you, moving you forward. It's just awesome.

I also know for sure that one or two people are reading and are being touched by these posts. But I have to say that sometimes, you need more tangible support. So you may need to seek out more support groups you can join locally. And in the case of couple infertility, you may need to share that support with a spouse. Someone said in one of the past comments that Atala is an angel, LOL...he's certainly not a saint, but yes without his support, the story may have been different.

While infertility is a not easy on anyone, and it definitely is not for us, I thank God for how far he has brought us. Some say I am very brave and all that, but that's not really it. Like someone said in one of the past comments, "all in all its a credit to the society you live in and the kind of man your husband is and also your in laws and a testament to how loving and close knit your family is". I couldn't have said it better.

And when I see it like that, I’m OK that I'm the one going through this. He is a wise God, and I trust that His plans and purposes in my life are just being worked out. Thank you all for being part of the journey.

And the story continues.



Go Myne, It's Your Birthday


Today has started in a fantastic way and to think it's just the morning. I just want to say a quick thanks to everyone who sent messages through one or the other of Facebook, Twitter and email, I really appreciate it. And to share the love, I'll be giving away 2 eBook copies each of A Heart to  Mend and A Love Rekindled and one $20 gift card to some lucky commenters. Thanks again! Now let me go and enjoy proper :)

Birthday Wish Gone Berserk By Isa


So on the 27th of September, a day to my birthday, I made a wish. I had just found out that my 'friend-with-benefit-no-strings-attached' guy was hitting on my friend. Now I couldn't protest or confront him for two reasons. 1. I shouldn't be bothered he is hitting on her because we had agreed no emotions attached. 2. She made me swear to secrecy on our friendship that it wouldn't slip. Now there's something wrong with that also. She doesn't know he's my nack-and-clean mouth guy. She just wanted to gossip. In fact, we weren't gossiping. We were talking and his name seemed to pop-up and she goes, 'Ouh do you know..."

Anyway after hearing that rather ugly piece of information, I made a wish and a decision that day. I made a decision that once the supposed [Birth] day passes, I would end every fling and every randoms and go celibate. If I could get a zip, I would literally zip up and it would never go down until I felt it was right and with the right person. And then I made a wish that I find a boyfriend who is worthy of me and that I'm worthy of, that would love me and respect me. Not to forget, that is smart and funny and sarcastic and full of wit.

I mean am I asking for too much?

So the day came and went, birthday wishes were in order and oh my! What a throng I got (grateful to all), birthday presents were not absent as well but no boyfriend wrapped up in a bow amongst any of them. Oh well! My decision was my decision and I was willing to go through and to every length with it. I would just live life as it comes, no sex involved. Can't be too hard, can it? I mean I had stayed without it for 22 years of my life. Just 9 months into it abstaining for the rest of my life, 'till I find that someone can't be cumbersome. Right?

29th of September, I get a call from an ex. Now let me tell you a bit about this ex. We dated when I was 17 and he was the first one I did some wild, atrocious and adventurous things together with. Such as making out in church and some other gory details you don't need to know. Anyway, along the line, I realized this was someone I wanted to spend my life with and so I wanted to know what his long term goals were. (Trust me, this was way before the movie came out or was even thought of). His answer shocked me and would eventually put an end to our relationship. He told me he wanted to be a footballer.

What?!

In his defense, he told me he loves football, especially watching Manchester United Play and he would love to play ball in a club someday. I couldn't believe my ears and what it allowed sip through. I played it cool and calm until we hung out later that evening and I told him, 'Babe I love you so much but this is how far we can go'.

'Are you breaking up with me? Why?'

'Your future ambition sweetheart. I'm not cool with it. And you not willing to change it makes it worse'
Now there's a bright side to it. I'm going to let you think this over, grow up a little and when you do and you want me back, you can come look for me. I'll be waiting for you'.

Who knew her would take heed to it- especially that last part? 6 years of deliberating, my ex calls me out of the blues. He wants to talk...he has missed me...blah blah blah. We agreed to meet up for dinner at a popular brasserie in VI. After eating and having the finest beer, he took my palms in his and stared into my eyes as he told me once again, how much he missed me, and how he wants us to be together again and how he wants to spend the rest of his life with me.

As sweet as the words were, I was distracted. He had grown into a young man. His cheek bone was very much visible and his jaw line was firm. He had man hair now all over face and He had become more handsome and his physical build was heavenly underneath the suit. This man was HOT! Hot! Hot! Hot!

'Isa!' He nudged my hand that he held captive a little.

'Huh?' I snapped back into reality.

'Did you hear what I said? I said let's be together. Let's make this work. I want you back in my life. I know you gave me time to discover myself..to grow up. And I have. I don't want to be a footballer anymore. I work in a well-known bank as the head of my department and I'm taking things more seriously now. Including my personal life..my love life..which revolves around you. What do you say, can we make this work? I love you, Isa'

Those words sunk in immediately. Here I was, a moment ago without a guy to call my own. Here I was and my wish had come true...well not all of it. I did wish for a boyfriend, sarcastic, funny and he was all of that now but one element is missing. Smart.

Smart guy over hot bod...I dunno. Maybe I should just be grateful for what I have. At least he's got a job *shrug* or maybe I should give him another five years more to go learn a lesson or two from life. We are both still young at 23. Maybe then we can get married.

But then there's just one little, tiny-winy thing that's bothering me. Why would such a hot, handsome guy still be single? Do you think there's a problem I should be worried about? Or is it just my luck?


The Waiting Booth by Brinda Berry - $100 Giveaway


Book Blurb

A missing boy, government agents, an interdimensional portal... Mia has one goal for her senior year at Whispering Woods High-find her missing older brother. But when her science project reveals a portal into another dimension, she learns that travelers are moving in and out of her woods in the most alarming way and government agents Regulus and Arizona are policing their immigration. Mia's drawn to the mysterious, aloof Regulus, but it's no time for a crush. She needs to find out what they know about her brother, while the agents fight to save the world from viral contamination. But when Regulus reveals that he knows Mia's secrets, she begins to wonder if there's more going on than she thought...and if she was wrong to trust him...


Purchase:

Praise for The Waiting Booth:

"The book kept me on the edge of my seat with its perfect balance of teenaged angst, interdimensional portals, and a fractured family."

~ Author Christine Ashworth

"The description was so good I could easily see things as they happened...like a movie playing in my mind as I read. I just love Regulus. He's my kind of hero for sure."

~ Author Lynn Rush

Author Brinda Berry


Brinda Berry lives in the southern US with her family and two spunky cairn terriers. She has a BSE in English and French and a MEd in Learning Systems Technology. She's terribly fond of chocolate, coffee, and books that take her away from reality. She doesn't mind being called a geek or “crazy dog lady”. When she's not working the day job or writing a novel, she's guilty of surfing the internet for no good reason.

Links:

The Waiting Booth Book Trailer:




Book Blast Giveaway Details:

$100 Amazon Gift Card or $100 PayPal Cash from Author Brinda Berry

Ends 11/1/12

*You need not enter your twitter name for each entry. Simply enter it when you follow Brinda and leave the others blank.

a Rafflecopter giveaway


Open to anyone who can legally enter, receive and use an Amazon.com Gift Code or Paypal Cash. Winning Entry will be verified prior to prize being awarded. No purchase necessary. You must be 18 or older to enter or have your parent's permission. The winner will be chosen by rafflecopter and announced here as well as emailed and will have 48 hours to respond or a new winner will be chosen. This giveaway is in no way associated with Facebook, Twitter, Rafflecopter or any other entity unless otherwise specified. The number of eligible entries received determines the odds of winning. VOID WHERE PROHIBITED BY LAW.

Is Mercy Johnson Divorced? - Search #1


So is Mercy Johnson divorced? Not to start any rumors or anything but ever since my post on the divorce controversy surrounding the actresses' marriage, a lot of the searches come to this site asking about her divorce. As far as I know, Mercy Johnson is NOT divorced from her husband. In fact, she is reported to be pregnant and due soon. Pictures below.





This post is part of a series on keywords for which this blog ranks at #1. Catch up on the search series so far, How to get Nigerian Igbo guys and How to reject a Nigerian man.

For those in Nigeria, enjoy your public holidays!


Love and First Impressions - Conclusion


Over the next few months, Taribo and Julie continued to see each other. They had both agreed that it would be a good idea for them to start off as friends, and to see how things developed. And the more Taribo saw of Julie, the more he liked her. He sometimes met her at the hospitals that she visited in the line of her work, and he saw how the staff and patients responded with affection to her genuine interest in them. He noted how cheerful and optimistic she was, even on days when things hadn’t gone her way.

But most of all, he appreciated, he enjoyed – no, he luxuriated in the care and attention that she showered him with when they were together. It was like he was the most special and powerful man in the world, able to jump seven mountains in one bound. She flavoured his life so it tasted so much better; she added an eighth colour to his rainbow – in short, he found himself longing to be with her when she wasn’t around. And yet…

“…I mean, Dele, I just don’t know what to do, man.”

“Oh Lord my God, oh God my Lord,” sighed Dele, looking at his friend and shaking his head. “When I asked you to fill me in with the latest gist on the matter, I did not bargain for this. Honestly, from all you’ve told me up till now –  from how you sound when you talk about this girl, it’s clear to me that you really love her, but you are allowing the weight issue to get in the way.”

“No, I’m not!” Taribo replied vehemently. “It’s a big thing for me… I have to feel a physical attraction to someone I love, and I cannot feel that if the person is too big.”

Dele arched an eyebrow. “And you are telling me that you feel absolutely nothing in this respect when you are with Julie? Honestly?”

“It’s not as intense as it should be. It would be much different if she was slimmer.”

Exasperation took over. “Eh, then do what I had suggested a while back! Tell her to lose weight – then you’ll have the woman of your dreams.”

“No-o, I don’t want to force her to do something that she doesn’t want to do.”

“You don’t know this for sure. At least, let her know how you feel. Or I don’t know, maybe you’re afraid that if you tell her, she’ll take offence and take off?” Seeing his friend remain mute, Dele continued. “Man, you have to be the honest person I know you to be. Even if she takes off, won’t it be better for her to be free to find a man who likes her, big size and all, rather than keeping her to yourself because you can’t decide whether you love her inner qualities more than you dislike her size?”

Taribo sighed once more and held his head in his hands, then he looked up. “You’re right – I won’t keep her dangling any longer. Damn, I hate it when you present the facts in a way that I can’t ignore.”

Dele stood up and patted him on the shoulder. “That’s what friends are for, man.”

*****

He had called her the day before, saying that he had some thing that he would like to talk about with her. She had sounded strangely quiet; did she already know what he was going to say? They had agreed to meet at Tastes Right; for him, it was only right that it should end where it began.

He sat in the restaurant, looking towards the doors for her entry. It felt like deja vu, but this time he knew that things would be different. You don’t have to do this, a part of him said. Was it the same part that had hoped that she would be someone different when she had made her entrance way back then? Who knew? Time certainly changes our perspectives, he thought.

Five minutes later, she came through the doors, and his heart stopped for a moment at the sight of her. Was he really going to… but he looked at her again, and saw that she was somewhat subdued.

“Julie… is everything OK?”

Julie plastered a smile on. “I’m fine. It’s just… well, some news came in a few hours before your call, and I was going to tell you then. But I thought, well, we’re meeting here today, so I might as well tell you now.”

She sat down, and they ordered drinks. Then she turned to face him. “I’m going away.”

Taribo’s heart stopped in shock. Going away? No. This could not be happening.

“W-why? What happened?” he stammered.

Julie laughed, in spite of herself. “No, it’s actually good news – the organisation is opening an office up in the North, and they’ve decided that I’m the best person to head it up. So it’s kind of a promotion…” and here the smile faded. “But I realise that it means being away from you. Taribo, I may have said it in many little ways, but I will say it now – no man has made me feel the way you have since I was born. You’re generous, appreciative, caring; you make me want to live, not just survive. But most of all, you make me feel wonderful about myself.

“You see, a few years before I met you, I was in an emotionally abusive relationship. I gave and gave to this man, and he took everything I gave and flung it back in my face. He made me feel useless, fit for garbage. Eventually, he left me for another woman, but even though my family and friends told me I was well rid of him, I suffered badly from the break up. I was depressed for a long while; my self-confidence was smashed to pieces. In fact, that’s when I put on all this weight.

“Eventually, I recovered enough to venture back into the world again, but the experience is not something that I talk much about, because it still hurts sometimes to think about it. It left me very cautious about entering relationships, and even when Ayo pressed me to go out with you on a date, I really grilled her and made her swear on her great-grandmother’s grave that you weren’t just a player. I’m glad she was persistent, because these last two months have been the best of my life. They’ve reminded me what it’s like to be special just because I’m me,” she finished.

While Julie had been speaking, the gears in Taribo’s head had been spinning like crazy. He hadn’t really thought about what would happen once he suggested that they should just “be friends” as he had planned. Perhaps they would just see each other around town occasionally. But now, he was realising that never hearing her, seeing her again would turn his life into a bleak landscape. And in that moment, his vision cleared, and he knew exactly what he needed to do.

“Who said it just has to be just two months?” he said. “I’m sure there are phone networks where you’re going… and there are roads too… and maybe even internet service.”

Julie’s eyes lit up. “You mean…”

Taribo smiled. “Yes, I wouldn’t want to go too long without hearing the voice or seeing the sight of the woman that I’ve fallen in love with.”

______________

Atala writes as Tola Odejayi on Naijastories. Check out his profile.

This is Donald Trump's Obama Bombshell?


After enjoying Obama's outing at the last debate and cheering for him to win the forthcoming elections, I didn't know whether to laugh or rant when I read about Donald Trump's big announcement gimmick. There were rumors on what it could be, from more birth certificate shenanigans, to an alleged divorce between the Obamas. Check out the video or press release below for what the challenge or announcement really is.



In summary, Donald trump wants President Obama's college, work and passport records opened. And if they are delivered to him before Oct 31, he will donate $5million to the president's charity of choice.And this is supposed to affect how people vote, he said. SMH...Donald Trump has issues sha...

And yes, it is Team Obama over here in case you missed it :)

A Good Man Who Can Find? by Tofa Ige


I know a lot of people will ask, who is a good man? What defines good? What does a man have to provide to be termed good? Does he have to be stinking rich to fit that tag? Should he be a father figure, an encourager….or perhaps a protector? I perceive that many will even turn up their noses and scoff that there is no good man on planet earth.

A guy who cheats on his girl might regard himself as a good guy because he spends money on her. On the other hand, a guy who is stingy, temperamental and insensitive could score himself as a good guy because he doesn’t cheat on his woman.

Essentially, labeling a thing as good usually opens room for wide debate. What is good for one woman may be bad for another. But we will all agree that there are ‘universal’ expectations as to how a responsible guy (bachelor) should comport himself to befit the status of a good man.

A good man must be responsible enough to realize that he is a man. He is a provider. He has been automatically cast by nature to take the lead role. By virtue of his perceived strength, he is a role model He should be focused, intelligent and fore-sighted. He must have concrete plans for his future viz self, family and career development.

A good man should be humble and ready to sacrifice. A relationship is like building a house. You have to cast aside bad and weak bricks, and use good strong ones for construction. Sometimes, you have to tear a part of the building down to get a better structure. You also have to bear the pain of hurting yourself while building. You will also agree with me that two people might spend the same amount of money on a building but the result will vary.

A good man must be ready to prune off the bad sides of his partner. Plaster her with wisdom and corrections, and then paint her with love and understanding to produce a beautiful and durable structure that would be the envy of all.

A good man should live with the understanding that he is a ‘vision builder and helper.’ His woman looks to him for advice, support and direction and he should be ever ready to provide it for her. Perhaps there wouldn’t be a Tara House of Fashion today if there was no Fela Durotoye  as a pillar of support for her. A good man needs to believe firmly in the vision of his girl, and should be a source of inspiration to her.

A good man knows his woman: her inadequacies, strong areas, likes, dislikes, fears, temperament…..virtually everything about her.  A good man should be a rock for his girl. A shield. Her refuge and safe haven.

He should be the one to caution her about her pettiness. Advice her, as a man, on how to behave properly in public, with friends, family etc.

Truly ,no woman is an angel. Women have their faults, but a man has to overlook his girl’s shortcomings sometimes and focus on her strengths. No woman is perfect, so there will be lots of things that she’s not dong right.

If she is not as courteous as you would want her to be, you should take the lead and subtly teach her about the essence of etiquette. Envelope her with love and care while shaping her into a lady of class and status.

If a woman has some negative or irritable habits like procrastination, lackadaisical attitude or lying, the good man should act like a father and nurture her into a better person. He should see beyond her physical beauty and seek out the beauty of her soul.

A good man should be forgiving. He must regard every mistake of his girl as bricks that will build a strong relationship foundation.

A good man should be ready to be a good father. A shaper of upcoming generations, for men have the solemn responsibility of being the head of the family.

A good man is a diligent male. The pride of his woman. And the glory of his family.

A good man is an asset any woman would die to have. Brothers, the mantle has been thrown to you. You cannot give what you do not have. Equip yourself and work towards being the best that you can be. No woman wants to be hooked to a loser and failure.

______________

Want to read more Tofa? Check out his profile on Naijastories.com

Trick or Treat? The Spooktacular Giveaway Hop


Welcome to my stop on the third annual SPOOKTACULAR GIVEAWAY HOP, and with over 400 blogs taking part. As some of you may know, my birthday is just around the corner and so also is Halloween. Whether you like to be scared or not, this prize is for you. The winner of my Giveaway will receive their choice of up to $20 in books from The Book Depository (including shipping) or a $20 email Gift card from Amazon.com.



a Rafflecopter giveaway


Halle Berry, Low Self Esteem and Bad Choices in Men


Some of us often ask why a woman in an unhealthy relationship remains in it. As much as we don't know her partner as she does, and maybe he does need help, first of all however, the victim has to realize her self-worth in order to begin to understand that she needs to withdraw from that relationship and save herself before she can worry about her partner and what he needs. [see post on Rihanna still loves Chris Brown]

Let's not forget the children in the picture, whom if care isn't taken, grow up and see dysfunction as normal. Their self esteem takes a beating, and this may affect them for the rest of their life. It is very important to bring up children who are very much aware of how much their parents love and care for them.

Halle Berry, who grew up in a single parent home, joked in the interview that her esteem issues had led to her having a broken picker when it comes to men. In her words, “just because they see my face doesn’t mean they see me. A person’s self-esteem has nothing to do with how she looks. Self-esteem comes from who you have in your life. How you were raised. What you struggled with as a child."

I think this is a valid point. Self-esteem is definitely more than just looks, and whether pretty or regular, how we feel about ourselves is often the biggest determinant of the choices we make in life.

It is therefore imperative that we are good role models for our own kids and all other children around us. Even as adults, it is not too late to work on our self-esteem in order to be balanced and fulfilled individuals. When we have sorted out who we are and what we want, it becomes easier to make better life choices including in love and relationships.

Halle Berry admitted in the same interview that while she may be beautiful, that does not make her infallible or prevent her from sometimes choosing the wrong men for her. She explained that low self esteem had a lot to do with her tumultous love life and the seemingly bad relationship choices she has made in the past.


This can be related to how, what, and why some women decide to accept some kinds of men in the first place, and/or stick with him even after it has become clear that he is not at all what we expected, wanted or hoped for. For Halle Berry, this has meant,

a domestic violence episode that left her with an 80 percent hearing loss in one ear. Hit-and-run charges from an accident in 2000. A four-year marriage to the baseball player David Justice, resulting in a breakup that Berry has described as having precipitated thoughts of suicide.

Her second marriage, to the singer Eric Benét, ended after Benét admitted infidelities and checked into rehab for that old Hollywood standby, sex addiction.

Last year, a stalker trespassed on Berry’s property three times over the course of as many days. After serving six months in prison, he was ordered to undergo psychiatric treatment and issued a restraining order.

Now comes the custody struggle with Gabriel Aubry. And, despite her vow, delivered emphatically on Oprah’s couch, in 2004, that she would “never marry again — never,” she is engaged to yet another fabulously handsome performer.
Source

Indeed, Halle Berry has not had it easy with men though she seems to always pick herself up and move ahead. She is now engaged to Olivier Martinez and hopes her picker is fixed. I hope for her sake and that of her daughter that this one works out.

What has been your own experience or thoughts?

How to Get Nigerian Igbo Guys - Search #1



Remember when I announced the search series? Most of my #1 keywords are for topics we've already discussed, but when one we haven't comes along, I'll share - if it sounds interesting or I think you guys have an answer. The first was on how to reject a Nigerian man. Today, it is the opposite, someone wants to know how to get Nigerian Igbo guys. If these Igbo Nigerian men pictures below are anything to go by, I am not surprised, lol...





I did not land an Igbo man, but being somehow Igbo myself, maybe I can proffer some tips.

1. You must know how to keep house, and especially how to cook.
2. Learn how to speak Igbo, if only to say "Nna anyi" (Lord and master). Remember to bow when you say it.
3. Your skin has to be shining like the sun, whether dark or fair, preferably fair. Rub oil on it at all times, use ude aku (palm nut oil) if you can find it.
4. Be prepared to have many children, at least two boys and of course a girl to help you serve her father.
5. Your career is not really that serious. You are now an Ori-aku (chopper of wealth) and so you can stay home and keep busy looking after the house and children
6. You will attend village and town union meetings, and be a cute and beautiful ambassador - a la Bianca Ojukwu.

OK, OK, I am just joking o. Seriously though, Igbo men are not much different from other men and some basics apply for anyone wanting to get a man. I've summed up some of them below;

- Keep some perspective, even as you go getting your man, get yourself too. Only as a well rounded individual will you know what you really want. Also, a balanced and versatile person is more interesting than a one-dimensional one.

- Take time to know each other. Not in terms of years, days or months, but in depth of conversations and communications. Be open and honest and you will probably get the same. Be perceptive and watch how a man reacts when upset, or hungry for instance.

- Nobody is perfect, not you and not them. Realize that and be willing, able, and ready to compromise on some issue. Not on your deal breakers o.

I'm still waiting on Igbophilia and Ginger, among others who have managed to land them an igbo man, to tell us how can one begin to get these specimens of manhood known as Igbo men?

Love and First Impressions - Short Story


Taribo repeatedly scanned the restaurant for Julie, hoping that she would be on time. There was nothing he hated more than people who had no concept of punctuality – that was why he had arrived a full fifteen minutes before the time that they had agreed on the phone. In between scans, he thought about the circumstances that had led to their date.

He had been to see his friend, Dele, and he had just happened to chance upon Dele’s sister, Ayo, who he hadn’t seen for a while. She marvelled at how good he was looking, then quickly zeroed in on his love life, jesting that he must have a swarm of ladies following him everywhere these days. In response, he gave a wry smile and said that he and Miss Right still moved in mutually exclusive circles.

Ayo clapped her hands in delight. “Ah, there’s this friend of mine, Julie, that you must meet then.” Ignoring Dele’s protestations, she went on. “She’s a wonderful girl – she’s very bubbly, very intelligent and very, very compassionate.”

Taribo laughed. “The way you are describing her, she sounds like a cross between Mother Teresa and Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala.”

“Abeg, don’t mind my sister,” Dele interjected apologetically. “She cannot see a single man pass without trying to jam him by force with one of her many single friends, whether they are right for him or not.”

Ayo turned on him fiercely. “Please don’t bad-mouth my friends!

Taribo interposed himself to end the argument. “OK, let there be peace in this house. Ayo, give me your friend’s number, and we’ll set something up.”

He’d called Julie a couple of days after getting the number, and she’d sounded as bubbly and pleasant as Ayo had described. Taribo wasn’t one for faceless relationships, so he’d quickly invited her out for a meal at a local restaurant. He said he would be the tall, light-skinned guy wearing the pale blue shirt; how would he know who she was?

“Oh, I’ll probably be wearing something yellow,” she said. “But I doubt that we’ll miss each other – I have your mobile phone number and you have mine, so we can just follow the sounds of the ringtones in the restaurant to find each other.”

Taribo laughed. “That sounds like a good plan. OK, so I’ll see you at ‘Tastes Right’ on Sunday.”

*****

It was now a few minutes past eight, and Taribo had just commenced another scan when the restaurant doors swung open and a girl in a pale yellow blouse and a dark blue skirt walked in, looking this way and that. She was above average height – about five-six, five-seven;  she had a medium skinned complexion, and was quite pretty too, Taribo thought.

She was also quite clearly and undeniably overweight.

Part of Taribo hoped that she was someone else, and that a slimmer, sleeker Julie would come through the doors in a few minutes. But then her glance fell on him. Her eyes lit up with recognition, a radiant smile appeared on her lips and he knew that this was indeed the person he had set up the date with.

She walked over to him, still smiling, and stretched out her arms, and he rose to embrace her. Oh yes, he thought. Very soft, warm and curvy. Smells good, too.

“I don’t know who you are, but you must be a very warm person to embrace a total stranger whose name you haven’t confirmed yet,” he said, with a straight face.

Julie laughed. “Come on, you’re pulling my leg! You’re the only person wearing a blue shirt in the restaurant.”

“Ah, but what if I decided to change what to wear at the last minute?”

“Well, you sounded such a gentleman on the phone that I’m sure that you would have called me to let me know.”

It was Taribo’s turn to laugh now. “OK, OK, you win. Let’s get seated and get something to eat.”

The evening passed off much better than Taribo could have expected. As Ayo had said, Julie was a lively, cheerful presence; she talkedabout the joys and challenges that she faced in her work as a planning officer at a non-governmental organisation which worked with disabled people. She regaled him with stories of the interesting places that she had been to, both inside and outside the line of work. And she made him laugh by recounting an episode where she had been having swimming lessons. The instructor had been a believer in the ‘baptism of fire’ method – no floats, nothing – and she had spent the first session thrashing about in the water, worrying more about avoiding drowning than swimming.

“It didn’t help that I’m plus sized,” she said, laughing along too. “I must have sent half of the water splashing out of the pool.”

But the information didn’t just flow just one way. Julie was also interested in what he did to, and she didn’t seem to find his job as a veterinary science lecturer as boring as other people he had spoken to. In fact, she seemed to see it as a chance to expand her horizons, and she probed away with intelligent questions and comments. Taribo found himself opening up not just on his work but other areas that he didn’t usually talk a lot about – like how he had flirted briefly with the idea of setting up an urban zoo shortly after leaving university.

“Where were you going to get the animals from?” Julie wondered.

“Oh, there are animals all over the place – lizards, chickens, goats, rabbits. I was going to start with those, and from whatever money I made, I would get more exotic animals.”

“But why should anybody to pay to see a lizard? All you have to do is to stare at a wall; soon enough, you’ll see one running across.”

Taribo wagged a finger. “You would be surprised at how differently people view an ordinary animal once you have placed it in a cage and are charging them money to see it.”

More laughter followed, and as Julie moved on to another topic, Taribo half-listened while he thought about how things go could from here. For sure, she was a great girl to be with, and he would definitely like to spend more time with her. She had such sparkling eyes and a great smile. But he couldn’t get past her size – he simply wasn’t attracted to big girls, and he wanted there to be physical chemistry with someone that he was going to go out with. And it looked as if she was very comfortable with her size, from the way she had described her encounter in the pool.

He was still thinking about what he was going to do about this when they both rose for the night to end the date.

*****

“So Taribo my man, how did it go?”

Taribo scratched his head with one hand as he held the mobile phone to his ear with the other. “Hmm… I don’t know o…”

Dele was puzzled. “What do you mean?”

“Well, she’s a great girl… very lively, very smart… but – well, she’s too big for me.”

“See? This is what happens when my sister tries to jam two people by force. So have you called the girl to let her know it’s ‘no go’”?

“Mmm… it’s not as simple as that.”

“What are you talking about? You just said that she’s too big for you – so that’s the end of the matter now, abi?”

“Well, I didn’t say that. I said that she’s a great girl, too.”

Dele began to chuckle. “It looks like you’re being torn between inner beauty and outer beast.”

“Ol’ boy, what’s your problem! You’re supposed to be advising me now, not confusing me.”

Dele’s chuckle turned into full blown laughter. “What do you want me to say? Maybe you should ask her to lose weight, if it’s so much of a big deal to you.”

Taribo shook his head vigorously. “Haba! I can’t do that now. She sounded like she was very comfortable with the way she was.”

“Well, you definitely need to talk to her and let her know what you feel. Shey you are still seeing her?”

“Yes – I’ve called her a couple of times after our date. But what you are advising is easier to say than to do.”

Dele shrugged. “Well, I can’t think of anything else. If you were giving me advice over this matter, you know it’s what you would say yourself. But Taribo, man…”

Taribo was suddenly expectant. “What?”

“Make sure that you keep me up to date with the latest gist from your side o!”

“And I was thinking that you were going to give me some beta advice,” Taribo snorted in mock disgust, and he rang off with the sound of Dele’s laughter echoing in his ears.

___
To be continued, or you can read the continuation on Naijastories.

Eldee on Love, Marriage, Family and Celebrity


Lanre Dabiri, or eLDee the Don as he is more popularly known, is a Nigerian music star and was featured on the BN weekend interview where he spoke about his marriage and family. I was intrigued enough to want to know more. I found that BN had also covered his wedding and I was impressed enough by their story to share.

Wedding Story - eLDee (Lanre Dabiri) and his long-term sweetie, Dolapo Latinwo-BeloThe couple have been together for about a decade. They started dating during their days as students of the University of Lagos. Eldee is a graduate of Architecture while Dolapo studied Urban & Regional Planning. The couple has grown together through their various successes and life changes. As Lanre’s musical career blossomed they still kept the romance alive. Distance also didn’t deter them as over the past few years, eLDee was based in Atlanta, USA while Dolapo was based in the UK.

INTERVIEW

Tell me about your wife. When did you meet her and how does she cope with the demands of your career?
I met my wife in 1998 just as I was about to get into music. She has been a part of it from the beginning so she gets it. Nothing really changed when we got married; it was just business as usual. She is very supportive.


And your cute daughter. How old is she now? Does she “get it” too?
She is two. She is beginning to understand the demands of my career, that I travel often which makes me sad. When I come into the house, she’s be like “Are you travelling?” And I’m like “Yes”. Then she’d say “When are you coming back”. It’s not the best of things which is why I’m hoping I can settle down and do less of the artiste stuff and more of the management stuff so that I can spend more time with her.

Let’s get back to your wife please. I know you guys have had a wonderful and long relationship. What has made your relationship survive the test of time?
We understand each other. We are friends before anything so that helps to keep things together. We are buddies. My wife and I can stay in the house for up to a month without seeing anybody else and we’d have conversations everyday and we’d not fight once. We’d chill, gist, abuse each other, laugh, play rough… that is the kind of relationship that we have.

Tell me about something romantic she has done for you recently.
She does something everyday, really. How many men can brag that they eat breakfast in bed in Nigeria? I don’t know if that is very common but that is my wife. She is the best.



There is usually a lot of pressure on celebrity couples with many people watching to see if their marriages would survive the test of time. You’ve been married for almost four years now. What is your secret to a scandal free relationship?
If you’re not out there messing about, it would be difficult for people to pin stuff on you. If somebody wants to create controversy for you and you are not that kind of person, it would be clear. The other time, somebody tried to play a scandal with me and Mo’Cheddah but we both laughed about it. I’m not the guy who leaves the club with girls, I’m not the kind of guy who has girls flocking around my studio. That is not my style. There is no smoke without fire, if you are not naturally somebody who is into drug sex or alcohol in a negative way, nobody would be able to pin stuff on you. And I think that is why nobody has been able to pin stuff on me because that is not my lifestyle.

Sources, Bellanaija eLDee Interview and Wedding Story. I wish them the best of love and marriage, a demanding career is not easy on any relationship, especially when you are in the public eye too.


Ebisan - Jowo: Music Video Romance



Singer-songwriter Ebisan is also one of the actors in another of her video directed by MR AK ONE. This one features South African artist Moneoa as The Bride, with fun cameos from Nigerian RnB group Styl-Plus and rapper Provabs. The story illustrates that saying, Hell Hath No Fury. Nice enough, but I think the singer's voice was a bit over auto-tuned in the song.

The Bremerton Ferry to Seattle - Weekend Pictures


On one of the last days of summer, we decided to take advantage of the good weather and enjoy a nice drive and ferry ride. This would be my first ferry, something we had been planning for two years now, but always put off till the weather turned each time. Since my mum was around this time, we wanted her to share the experience and so fixed a date.


We drove all the way down south to Tacoma, had breakfast, and then took the scenic route that brought us to Bremerton by 2:20pm or so for a 3pm departure.  This allowed us to buy the ticket, park in line and then talk a small walk to the pier and around the Bremerton boardwalk. There was a small street market where I bought that bracelet I'm wearing in the pictures for just $5!









The fare for a car is around $15 irrespective of the number of people in it and you can either seat in the car or go to the ferry lounge. Of course we went up into the ferry. There was plenty of space, with padded booths for groups. My mum relaxed in one of those and we went outside for a bit, but it was just too cold and windy to remain out on the deck for long. We alternated between that, the lounge booth, and a seating/viewing area up front.







Still, we had good enough weather that day, and though there was some cloud, it was particularly nice that there was no rain. This made for nice cartwheels for the birds as they floated on the ferry's stream and the view of the Seattle skyline as we approached was simply amazing. The Space Needle, Safeco Field, CenturyLink, Columbia Tower, and all the other high rises lined up in what I'm sure many professional photographers and painters have caught on film or canvas. I sure did my best to join that caucus :)




It was a one hour ride, and with the long drive to Bremerton, took up half the day. However, it was well worth the visit. The fresh air did us a lot of good too.

Hope you guys are having a good weekend? Remember to take the time to enjoy the view, mwah!

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