Worldreader Demos A Heart to Mend in new Book App

Worldreader is a charity whose mission is to make digital books available to all in the developing world, enabling millions of people to improve their lives. First focusing on distributing Kindle e-readers to rural schools in some African countries, Worldreader is now moving into providing reading content to feature phones through the BiNu phone app.


Worldreader also partners with authors to make international books available to those who use their apps and readers and that is where I work with them. I have accepted to make my books accessible to the Worldreader audience for free. In the video above, Elizabeth is demoing the BiNu app, and you can see how A Heart to Mend appears on it. I hope those who read it enjoy!

To be Fair - The Other Side of the Ogochukwu Story

I was one of the people who commented on the Onuchukwu's story on my blog and I feel it is only fair to also bring the other side. This counter story is written by a named lawyer and so can be said to be more trustworthy than the other which was written by an anonymous confidante. From this new perspective, the initial story may have come because Ogochukwu's family have some issues with her husband.


The rebuttal was written by Barr. Mrs Nnenna Okafor (PHD). Is she saying the truth? I do not know. She says she lived with the couple for four years and was closer to both than the original writer. Read and make up your own mind.


1. Ogochukwu's lung problem started before her marriage to Kevin on December 12, 2000. But due to the love Kevin had for his wife, he proceeded with the wedding despite her pre-existing medical conditions. She was moved to UNTH after 2 weeks of marriage and a chest tube was used to draw off fluid from her lungs. The UNTH doctor then advised that she should be flown to Washington DC otherwise, she would die. Kevin and his family swung into action gathering money to save Ogochukwu life.

2. Kevin, his family and friends of Kevin supported Ogochukwu throughout her medical history. The first N15M that was raised for her to travel to Washington DC for surgery came from Kevin, his eldest brother, the Onuchukwu family and Kevin's friends at ExxonMobil. It was at the Washington DC hospital, that Ogochukwu was diagnosed in 2001 as having Endometrioses – Fluid in the lungs. She had surgeries in more than 5 hospitals across the World – South Africa, Washington DC, Houston TX, London, etc. While Ogochukwu was abroad and uptil her death, her 76 year old mother-inlaw was praying for and contributing on her behalf towards her membership of church groups in Ihiala amongst other women organization levies in the village. She had bought clothes for her, which Ogochukwu showed to me at one time. So, the reports from the Author that she was not received by Kevin's mother and sister-in-law are all fabricated lies and did not emanate from Ogochukwu.

3. There was no pressure from Kevin's family for children or for Kevin to remarry (which some people would have done) as Kevin's family members are Christians and believe in the will of God. In 2002 when Ogochukwu returned from the hospital, Kevin's mother and elder brother were there to receive Ogochukwu in Lagos They advised her to know that the priority then was her health and that when her health was normalized, God will give her and Kevin their own children someday. So the Author's claim of being under pressure for children is false as well as malicious.

4. Kevin is a caring and loving husband, a very responsible young man with integrity. For his love and care to his wife, he made sure that he was with Ogochukwu wherever he went for work assignments. Also, due to Ogochukwu's health, he ensured that Ogochukwu had Nannies doing everything for her and provided a driver for Ogochukwu. So the statement from the Author that Kevin tied his sick wife with rope and used belt on her is baseless and fabricated lies to sway the innocent readers and bloggers to believing them and tarnishing the image of Ogochukwu and Kevin.

5. Kevin usually paid his wife Ogochukwu monthly salary in addition to paying the Nannies and driver. He spent an average of N10M / year for his wife's lungs problem.

6. Kevin usually supported Ogochukwu's sisters and her brother financially. In some instance, her sisters, Mrs. Uzoamaka Otegbulu (working in INEC) and her other sister (Mrs Ngozi Ijere in Oyibo Port Harcourt) had so much influence in their marriage. Kevin curtailed the excesses of Mrs Ngozi Ijere in the early part of their marriage as she was interfering in the affairs of their marriage through calls and instructions to both of them on what to do. As for Uzoamaka, she was difficult to handle and she deceived Ogochukwu till death. She was the one that made her to undergo surgery, connived and signed the consent letter when her husband, Kevin advised otherwise and Ogochukwu died in her laps.

7. Ogochukwu is the next of kin to Kevin and not Kevin's brother. There are documents to this effect. So the author's fabrications that Kevin elder brother was next of kin is false.

8. Ogochukwu was always appreciative of Kevin, his brother and her mother-in-law and their support to her throughout her ill health running from one country to the other. Her mother-in-law usually put in for mass service for Ogochukwu for 6 years. Abah! How can the author turn the story around to favor their wicked plan that has failed!.

9. Kevin is a responsible man, with integrity and has respect for women and will never call his wife barren because he believed that his wife will bear children. He stood by her all the years till God answered their prayers with the blessing of 2 beautiful children – a son and daughter. I remember in 2006 when Kevin told me that he knew the wife would one day have children and that he will never get disturbed because his family is not disturbed, rather some friends were asking if the sickness of his wife had not ended?. So I do not understand where the author got her information and data from as it was not from Ogochukwu.

10. Between years 2000 to 2006, Ogochukwu went to various specialist hospitals and other hospitals around the world to remove fluid in her lungs – Washington DC, Houston TX, South Africa, and London. So, she had 5 different surgeries in 6 years for endometriosis. In 2007 she had the 6th surgery during the birth of their son in USA. Also, in 2010, she had her daughter through the 7th surgery in USA. During the surgical procedure to bring out her daughter, Ogochukwu passed out and it was with God's intervention that her heart kicked in after some minutes. The entire hospital erupted with joy. Before Ogochukwu was discharged, her Doctor (in the presence of her brother, Anthony Onugu of Dover, Delaware) advised that she should never carryout surgery any more as her body is like "vegetable" and it would be difficult to pull through after another surgery. The doctor indicated that the fluid in her lungs would stop by the time she gets to menopause. Both Kevin and Ogochukwu were happy, and Ogochukwu exclaimed that both of them were accomplished with the birth of a son and a daughter. So the Author's websites are full of disjointed and false stories.

11. In 2001 while Ogochukwu was undergoing surgical recovery, she stayed in her brother's house (Anthony Onugu, then in Washington DC). As a bachelor, her brother felt inconvenienced by Ogochukwu's presence in his house. So, by the time Ogochukwu's 1-94 expired, Anthony (Ogochukwu brother) lied to Ogochukwu that he has filed an extension of stay with the Immigration services. Ogochukwu only found out that her brother did not submit her application when she was stopped by immigration from entering the USA in 2003. The Author's write up that it was their son medical that impacted Ogochukwu immigration issue is another lie. As the issue was in 2001 while their son was born in 2007.

12. Kevin was helped by the then ExxonMobil Management who intervened with the American Embassy in Lagos and that was how Ogochukwu got another US visa for a medical follow-up to resolve her endometriosis problem.

13. There was a time Ogochukwu and Kevin went to the hospital in Nigeria and the Doctor advised that the only cure to stop fluid in Ogochukwu lungs was to remove her ovaries. Her husband was not in support as he believed that Ogochukwu will bear children someday. That dream was achieved by both of them.

You can read the rest of the write-up on the new blog.

At this stage, I don't know what to believe. I am reminded of what I said in the post about Don Jazzy and Dbanj. Only the main parties in broken relationships can say the truth, the rest is people around them trying to make sense of the situation through their own worldview. I still stand by my call on women in abusive relationships to seek help and get external support (sometimes, even the abusive party needs help too) or leave the toxic environment. There is hope only while LIFE remains.


Charity Hopping Around the World Giveaway - PROJECTALERT

Most of my regular readers must have guessed that I am quite passionate about women's rights, and so the charity I will be talking about is PROJECTALERT. Project Alert is a charity set up in Nigeria to promote and protect the rights of young girls and women. hey "seek to influence society by actively advocating for zero tolerance for all forms of violence against women and young girls".


This hop hosted by I Am a Reader, Not a WriterReading Away the Days and Reading a Little Bit of Everything) and my giveaway is an eBook of A Heart to Mend, which slightly deals with the topic.

In AHTM, one of the sub-plots has Gladys being mentored by an older woman who has experienced an unhealthy marriage. Aunt Isioma's story is key to Gladys dealing with some of her own emotional baggage as she works through her relationship with Edward. Gladys is a woman discovering herself and making sometimes tough decisions in the process, including choosing a life partner.

A Heart to Mend may not be your classic romance novel about a helpless damsel waiting for a knight on a white charger, but like my other books, it is my own way of advocating for women to take charge of the totality of who they are - mind, body, soul AND emotions. Because in reality, most women do want to find someone to go through life with. The important thing is to know who you are first and know your worth as a person so you can enjoy a healthy relationship with the right person for you.


You see, in addition to being a romantic, I am a feminist. My feminism means for me to own my physical and mental well-being, and have the freedom to make life choices. It means appreciating the women who have gone before and who have made the road easier for me, and supporting my contemporaries and those who are coming up as we all learn together in life. It means condemning situations that degrade or subjugate women, and encouraging structures that support women to empower themselves.

This is exactly what ProjectAlert is doing. Please donate to them at the link and read more about them below. Thanks. Donate to Project Alert or Contact them on Violence Against Women;

- HQ Address: 21, Akinsanya Street, Off Isheri Road, Taiwo Bus stop (Behind FRSC), Ojodu - Berger, P.O.Box 15456, Ikeja, Lagos, Nigeria. Phone 234-1-8209387; 234-8052004698; 234-8180091072; projectalert@projectalertnig.org; info@projectalertnig.org

- ABUJA OFFICE: 26 Bamenda Street, Off Abidjan Street,Wuse Zone 3, Abuja Nigeria. 234 -8708618

PROJECTALERT PROGRAMME AREAS

1. Human Rights Education - This programme is the lead unit for all advocacy initiative and training activities. Its primary objective being to educate and sensitize the society on the prevalence, nature, causes and effects of violence against women and young girls, and the relevant steps required, to address this issue. Activities conducted under this programme area include legislative, social and media advocacy. Legislative advocacy seeks to promote legal reforms that will effectively protect the rights of women and young girls. Under this programme, Project Alert also conducts various sensitization programmes and training workshops. Read more about past events under this programme.

2. Support Services Programme - This programme area provides practical support services to female victims of violence. These are:

a. Counseling Services - Counseling is yet another form of support service that the organization renders abused women and young girls. Clients receive both individual and group counseling. While individual counseling is aimed at dealing with the specifics of a client’s case; group counseling is aimed at encouraging victims to see themselves as survivors and gather strength from the experiences of others. The counseling department also organizes quarterly survivors’ forum, during which a motivational speaker on a particular issue of relevance to the survivors, is invited to speak to them. Read the counselling cases

b. Legal Aid - Project Alert provides free legal aid to female victims of violence. Services rendered to victims and/or their family include: Legal advice, Sending of letter of invitation to alledged abuser, Petition writing, Court representation & necessary follow-up, Accompanying of victims to the police station, Bailing of clients. In the last ten years, Project Alert has provided free legal aid to over 3,250 women and young girls. Read the legal aid cases

c. Shelter - Set up in May 2001, Sophia’s Place is the first battered women’s shelter in Nigeria. Located in one of Lagos numerous surburbs (its precise location not made public knowledge due to nature of cases received), the facility has sheltered over 580 women/young girls.

3. Research and Documentation - The Research and Documentation Unit of Project Alert is aimed at promoting the use of empirical information in understanding the nature, prevalence and effect of violence against women in the society. It serves as a complementary reliable source of information that will enhance policy decision making in eliminating violence and facilitate effective redress and response in our society. Activities under this programme area include: annual print media monitoring and documenting of reported attacks on women and girls; conducting of legal research and general surveys on violence against women/young girls; and documenting of various organizational activities. Check out the Project Alert Literature and Publications.

____________

To enter for the giveaway, simply leave a comment with your email address. Check out other charities on the blogs taking part in the charity giveaway hop.

Dear Myne - My Parents Rejected Him because of Tribe

Hi Myne, I met the BF online, not online per say because we share a mutual friend. He saw my picture on this mutual’ friend of ours profile on facebook who happens to be my best friend and also his own best friend’s GF. He asked of my number and she gave him. We started talking, instant messaging, skyping and all that. He never asked me out until we became so close and I couldn’t say no. He was so sweet, loving and caring. This happened when he was still in turkey for his masters, that was in 2010.


I can’t remember him asking me out properly but I know we just clicked and before I could know it he confessed his love for me. Anyway he completed his masters and went back home January 2011, we made plans on meeting coz I thot I was going to be home by then, unfortunately I didn’t make it to naija that period, so we couldn’t meet until last December when I went back.

So we finally met and we were okay with each other coz we’ve been scared maybe when we get to meet we might see something we don’t like and change our minds. The slight problem is that we are from different tribes and right from day one I knew it was going to be a problem from my side but that still didn’t stop me to carry on with the relationship. I’ve used style so many times to ask him if the tribe matters from his side but he said no his parents do not have a problem with it and I also used style to let him know I might get a problem with it from my own side.

My mum didn’t fail to tell me that she doesn’t think my dad will agree with this when I told her about BF, well I wasn’t surprised coz I expected it. My dad heard about it and said no, I should leave that boy. But I didn’t take what they were saying serious because I just believed what is meant to be will be plus I can’t just tell him my parents don’t like him, its just one kind.

I tried my best to change their mind during my trip but at the end, my parents still refused to accept the BF because of the so called "tribalism". Its been a month now, I've been so down and confused.....you know the whole break-up thing isn't easy. I asked the BF if we could give it another chance but he thinks I better go with what my parents say, they know what is good and best for me. I'm beginning to recover because I feel he backed out so easily he didnt even try again but I kinda don't blame him maybe he's still hurting.

Its annoying when one is rejected because of where he comes from. It was very hard for me to tell him and I feel I've broken his heart. I feel so guilty. I'm not even ready to move on, I don't feel I'm going to meet someone as good as him....

For Trayvon Martin - When will his Killer be Arrested?

This picture was taken on Atala's birthday in February. It had been a running joke between us that he didn't own any hoodies, so I bought him one and as he smoldered around the room modeling it for me, I snapped off a couple of shots on my BB. Now with the whole Trayvon Martin case, I wonder if I should have bought it? Maybe I should make sure he never wears it again?


Obama poignantly said, "If I had a son, he'd look like Trayvon." I shudder to say, many of our loved ones do. Since I first heard about the murder on Lady Ngo's blog, I've been waiting to hear of a follow-up arrest. Yet, with all the protests and the hot air in the press, Zimmerman walks free. Race or not, I do not buy the self-defence or stand-your-ground argument. When will Trayvon Martin get justice?

I Won $1000 to promote the Naijastories Anthology

Who remembers this post about World of Betters? Yes, the Naija Stories idea won $1000!

Naijastories.com is the leading community for Nigerian writers and book lovers, combining elements of a writing critique website and a social networking site. Of Tears and Kisses, Heroes and Villains is Volume 1 of the 'Best of NaijaStories' series. The 30 stories featured in the anthology were all originally published on the website between March 2010 and March 2011.

Read on NAIJASTORIES.COM

Buy Paperback from the NaijaStories Createspace Store

Buy in Kindle format and Print from Amazon.com

Buy the NOOK version from Barnes&Noble online

Buy various eBook formats from Smashwords.com

**If you live in Nigeria and want the ebook delivered as a PDF file to your email inbox, please contact admin@naijastories.com for payment details (via Zenith Bank and GTBank).



About the World of Betters Win

I registered for the Western Union competition with the goal of using the win to pay for the anthology publishing/distribution costs, to promote the book and to send paperbacks to each of the featured writers.

The contest organizers contacted me some time ago to say the entry had made it to the finals. After verification and everything, we were announced as winners and the payment has now been received.

So, we have started making arrangements for a wider distribution of Naija Stories - Of Tears and Kisses, Heroes and Villains, which includes shipping some of the paperback to Nigeria. The eBook will also get wider distribution beyond the current channels.

In the next few days you'll be seeing the anthology promoted on various websites. The ads are now running on Facebook, and on Goodreads. We will also be advertising on some sites like Bellanaija.com, Vanguard newspapers, among others. By the way, if you are a member of Goodreads, please add the book and recommend to your friends, and register in the US-only Giveaway.

REVIEWS OF THE ANTHOLOGY

These are stories about us or about our neighbours or something we’ve encountered in the news. They are what our friends tell us, their pain and joy, their passion and rage, their yearning and their cry against injustice. I enjoyed lots of the stories not just because of their simplicity and brevity but also for freshness they bring to storytelling and public discourse.
- Sylva Nze Ifedigbo. (Author, The Funeral Did Not End)

Here we are, with our abortions, our bereavement, our lust, our petty showdowns, our pederasts, our In-Law wahala, our problems chatting up girls in the diaspora, our memories of childhood, our fights, our incest, our love, our examination stress, our metafictional accounts, our encounters with university campus cults, our broken families, our... well, you get the idea. We rob banks, but we also eat salty beans to show our children we love them.
- Tade Thompson (Writer/Editor)

These short stories are not constrained by the need to attain fame. They all are, first of all, good works written with sharp perspectives that are related to various societal issues. There is a unique allure in every story. They have not been sifted through a Western colander. Support this anthology and show that there is a worthiness of effort in putting it together. This anthology is indeed the birth of writers that have newly been empowered. Go get a copy for yourself.
- Joseph Omotayo (Blogger/Book Critic)

Can we please accept that Divorce is an Option?

Yes, I am saying it again. Divorce is an option, is an option, is an option. Why do we women do this to ourselves? Some stories you read just break your heart. Marriage is good but only if you are happy and fulfilled with your partner. When the relationship is unhealthy, and your physical and emotional well-being is threatened, PLEASE GET OUT.


Seek help, accept support, do whatever you have to, but please LEAVE that toxic environment. If you're dating unhappily and waiting for a wedding to console you, marriage is more than a ring. If you're married and miserable, waiting for children to wipe your tears, there are no guarantees. If you live in a fractured home waiting for your children to grow and take you away, you may never make it.

OGOCHUKWU ONUCHUKWU did get married, she did have children, but she was never happy, never settled. Also, she is now dead. I pray her soul rests in peace. Her story paraphrases that famous bible quote. What shall it profit a woman if she gains a MRS title, but loses everything, including her soul?

We started to fight over little things. The fights were worse after you visited home or attended any of your numerous family meetings. You came home one evening and asked me to move out of the bedroom we both shared and into the guestroom downstairs. The next time you returned from the meeting, you tied me up with a rope and used your belt on me. No one heard my screams.

I remember when you told me that your family had asked you to remarry. You showed me documents of all your numerous landed property including the house we lived in. Your brother was listed as next of kin. When I asked you about it, your answer rocked the ground I was standing on. You said, “What have you to show that entitles you to any stake in this household?”You were referring to my barreness.

It is funny how to my family and friends, I was the beautiful and loving Ogo, whilst to you and your family I was a worthless piece of rag. You called me barren. I could have fled but your love and acceptance was of more worth to me than the love and admiration of the world outside our home. I desperately sought to be loved by you, Kevin.

In your family’s presence I felt unworthy, unloved and unwanted. Yet, I stayed on. I would make you love me one way or the other and I knew that one sure way would be to produce a child, an heir for you. That was the most important thing to you.

This is a confidante speaking out on Ogochukwu's behalf and you can read more of the recounting of a marriage gone bad on the memorial blog. It is too late for Ogochukwu, but not for some women out there. Please do not let this story be your story.

Wicked Evolution: BURN - Romance Meets Music

When I first heard about Jada Pinkett's song, my initial thoughts were, is she a musician too? I decided to watch the video to it this weekend, and I think she acquitted herself quite well. Her vocals, the emotion, and most of all, the lyrics, I loved it.


It is a steamy (read, baby-making) song and she dedicates it in Spanish to Will Smith as follows;
This song that I’m about to sing is very important to me because it’s the beginning of a new love for my husband. After 17 years, I never thought I could love him even more. This is for him.
Cute, eh? Check out the lyrics after the break, and hope you had a great weekend. See you soon.


Lyrics to Burn by Wicked Evolution


Just leave you let em taste you with the mouth of love the moon
And show me you know quiet
So in inside of me touch the places deep within yeah

Can you feel my heart beat next to yours uh yeah
Just met inside me to the..uh yeah
Stay within in me
Never leave me I want to uhh
I want to burn
Let me kiss you with the mouth of love the moon
And you show me you know why in
So when inside me touch the places deep within
Let your passion break me tonight yes
Can you feel my heart beat

Next to yours uh yeah yeah yeah
Just knock inside me
To the ..yeah yeah
Stay in within me
Never leave me I want to uhh
I want to burn
Let me kiss you with the mouth of love the moon
And you show me you know..yes
So when inside of me to the places deep within
Let your passion break me tonight
Can you feel my heart beat next to yours uh yeah
Just knock inside me, to the..yeah
Stay in within me,
Never leave me I want to uhh
Uh yeah I want to

Wings of Hope - Hillary Peak (Guest Author)

Hillary Peak calls herself a recovering idealist. She became a lawyer to change the world and is still somewhat shocked that didn't occur. Now, her goal is to retire from practicing law and write novels that people love.


She is currently a practicing attorney in the District of Columbia. She lives with her family in Alexandria, Virginia. Below she writes about what led her to write her new book, Wings of Hope.

One of the questions people ask is who you'd like to have dinner with, living or dead. Once upon a time, I picked people like Oprah or Alfred Hitchcock. Now, there are only three people I'd be interested in seeing: my father, my grandfather and my grandmother. I was a very lucky girl. I grew up with my mother's parents just down the street. I had a dream childhood with my parents and grandparents, all of whom thought I hung the moon. After school, I'd go to my grandparents and spend time with them. My grandfather would make me a coke float. Lots of weekends, I stayed at my grandparents, staying up past midnight to watch old movies.

Unfortunately, my grandfather died the month before I graduated from high school. My grandmother passed six months after I got married. Then my dad died after a long terminal illness. I long for those people to be in my life every single day. When holidays role around, I want to see them. When something funny happens, I want to share it with them. And now that I have a child, I would give almost anything for them to share in the joy of my daughter with them.

So, I wrote a book about what I would have loved: time with the people who mean the most to us. My father passed away before my daughter was born. While I was pregnant, I was on bedrest and desperately missing my father. I started writing down his stories to share with my child so that I wouldn't forget. Out of that effort was born a fiction novel.



Blurb of the book:

The letter said he was dying, that’s all Jules Weinstein knows when she leaves her life in San Francisco and moves to New York City to be with her father. She goes for the remarkable opportunity to really know her father. She never dreamed he had liberated a concentration camp, dealt cards to Bugsy Siegel or saved the life of a Black Panther. Wings of Hope is a road trip through the memories of a man making peace with his life. Little does she know that by getting to know her father, she will find herself. While her father struggles with whether his life was meaningful, Jules discovers that her father’s last gift to her is the ability to reach for her dreams. Her journey teacher her that “the goodbye” is sometimes the most heartbreakingly beautiful part of life.

Excerpt of Wings of Hope

As we sat at the table sipping coffee, I ventured my first question, “Dad, what were your parents like? You haven’t told me much about them, except that your mother had more brains in her pinkie than you’ve ever had.” I worried I wouldn’t have time to find out all I wanted to know.

He looked up, surprised. “Haven’t I told you about them?”

I shook my head. “But I’d really like to know more about them--especially what they were like.”

A smile spread across his face, “Really? I can’t believe that. My mother would have loved you--eaten you with a spoon. Remember when I took you to Fiddler on the Roof?”

I nodded, not wanting to break the spell by speaking.

“You were horrified that Golda hadn’t even met Tevya before they were married?”

I nodded again. That had horrified me, I couldn’t imagine not falling in love, courting, all that comes with the fun of meeting someone special, dressing up to go out, etc. The coffee mug warmed my hands, as I listened enraptured.

“Well, my parents were married like that.”

Rather than actually seeing it, I felt my jaw hit the floor. “You’re kidding!” I exclaimed without thinking.

“Nope.” He shook his head, watching me with amusement.“They’d never even seen one another. Married in a little village in Poland called Tarnapole. It is gone now--burned to the ground by the Nazis, I think.” His eyes misted over, but continued anyway. “My mother got pregnant with your Aunt Rebecca almost immediately. My dad was a barrel maker--and a fine woodworker. He made furniture for people as well. Six months after Rebecca was born, my mother got pregnant again--with Aunt Rachel. The pogroms went on at that time, and getting worse every day from what I gathered from my parents. Money and food were running out. It was quite desperate. My father decided to come to America, make some money with my mother’s brother who already lived here in New York, then send for my mother and the two girls. He left taking nearly two months to get to New York. It was barely three weeks after he stepped onto Ellis Island when World War One started. My mother and your aunts were trapped for the next three years. For a while, my dad could get in touch with them. He sent money, but after about a year, the lines were totally cut off. He didn’t know where they were, if they were even alive. As far as I know, he kept working, saving money. My mother on the other hand, was starving. The pogroms were continuing. The Cossacks were riding through villages, raping women and running everything that moved through with a sword.” He licked his lips, concentrating, clearly thinking about what it must have been like for his mother. My hair stood on end.

“One day, my mother was in the town rather than at their farm when the Cossacks came riding in. One grabbed my mother around the waist and lifted her onto the horse while he was moving. He intended to rape her in the saddle and kill her. She grabbed his pistol from out of the holster around his waist. She shot him dead as they rode.”

My mouth was open and my eyes were far bigger than saucers. My dad laughed at my expression. “I know. Totally amazing--she was an amazing woman. She never told me that story. Her brother told me after she died. I remember saying to him, ‘My Mother?’ I couldn’t believe it.”

“What happened?” I asked mesmerized. “How did she get away with it?”

He nodded solemnly. “I asked the same question. She rode back to the farm. Her brothers buried the body. They slaughtered the horse and ate the meat—they couldn’t keep it, even though it would have been great for the farm, because it would have aroused suspicion and questions--but it was no longer safe for her or your aunts. People had seen it happen. They knew it wasn’t long before someone turned her in for a loaf of bread.” He bit the inside of his cheek, just a bit; frightened for them even though he knew it turned out alright.

“So she took what she could carry, along with my sisters and started walking to America.”

“Walking? Are you serious?” I literally could not imagine walking thousands of miles.

“Yep. She and my sisters hid in the woods during the day and walked at night for months. Eventually, she joined a refugee line.”

“How long did it take?” I couldn’t imagine. The fear I felt hearing about it was palpable--what must it have been like to go through something like that?

“Two years.”

“Two years--are you kidding me? She walked for two years.” I was incredulous.

He nodded. “Unbelievable, huh?” He clasped his hands and looked down at them, trying to imagine what those two years would have been like.

I was speechless, thinking of the small things—nothing to eat, nowhere to sleep, no privacy for anything.

“The most amazing part is that she made it.”

E Don Happen, Na Wetin I go Talk?

Do you remember the story of a househelp, her madam's white trousers, and a naked oga in the master bathroom? This is the sequel...


As I turn face madam, na plenty tings jus enter my head, wetin I wan tell madam? Which kain lie I go take lie wey my punishment go reduce? As I don dey used to this place, e no go too sweet to return go back to the place wey my papa and mama dey stay. I no talk say I no like my papa and mama o, before una turn to dey curse me but I don big pass the place wey dem dey stay and no be mouth. A girl suppose aim for the skies na, abi no be so? As madam wan open mouth shout again na im I jus fall for ground dey roll.

“Mary! What’s this? What’s happening?” The kain fear wey enter my madam voice be wan make me laff but dem no born me well to try am.

“Jesus tank you, father tank you.” I stop to dey roll come begin dey shake. Na dat moment oga comot from baffroom. All this time e bin dey listen to music for inside the baffroom, so the man no kukuma hear all the wahala wey bin dey go on.

“Holy crap! What’s this?!”

“Well, I came in and saw her naked. She was actually bent waist down in front of…”

“Stop! Stop!! Is this…like a set-up or what?” The fear wey dey my oga voice no be small one.

“Baby, are you even listening to what I am saying. Are you saying that you did not know Mary was in the room? Is it a coincidence that you were in the bathroom and she was ready to leave the room?”

“What in heaven’s name are you talking about? And why have you left her uncovered? Gosh, baby, sometimes you need to take things one step at a time.”

“And what’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means you should have ensured that she was covered especially as you saw that I was getting out of the shower and not leave all of her shaking like that.”

“Really all of her, why pretend you haven’t seen it all?”

“Thanks to you, now I have.”

As I see say the ting fit bring kata kata between dem two, na im I sit up. As dem see me, both of dem keep quiet, oga wey no tie towel before quick quick grab one tie, madam jus pull dia bed sheet take cover my body.

“What were you doing here, Mary?” Madam use jeje voice ask me.

“Oga, madam no vex. Na help I bin dey help una.”

“Help who? By sleeping with my husband? Baby, I thought you said…”

“Na one prophet ma!” If I no interrupt madam, e fit turn to something else. “The prophet talk say if I no dance naked for every room of the house wey I bin dey stay say the person wey dey hold your belle make you no born pickin go succeed.”

“Why would you believe such crap? Oh Mary, you are so silly! Has it ever occurred to you or your prophet that we might be into family planning?”

Yes, e better make I dey silly. “But madam, the man dream dey come to pass. E bin dream one time say my papa work go finish and the ting happen.”

“Well, hasn’t he had any good dreams like you being crowned Miss Nigeria or winning the ‘who wants to be a millionaire’ show?” My oga fit use style style yab pesin.

“I no know sir, I no be God.”

“Didn’t you know oga was in the room or didn’t you even hear him come into the house?”

“Whenever I dey spirit I no dey hear anyting around me and …”

“Well, needless to say Mary, you nearly caused a catastrophe between my wife and I. Next time…”

“Next time? Baby, seriously I don’t think there will be a next time. I will not be comfortable having her around here anymore.”

“Come on! Where’s the carefree, forgiving woman I married? I think Mary’s problem stems from illiteracy; she should be a challenge to you. Perhaps she needs to start school. A literate mind wouldn’t easily be conned by a fraudulent prophet and let’s not forget that she thought she was doing us a favor.”

Kai, my rep don suffer; shey na me be illiterate? I fit vex now talk de whole truth, if dem like make dem chase me comot but as I think am more, e be like say e go better make I go school sef, at least make I sabi speak engrish small.

“Let’s talk about this later, after she is out of our room and besides I don’t like your defending her. Mary go to your room.” As she see say I bin wan comot the bedsheet…”No, don’t remove that. Just go! Make sure you take it to the laundry later.”

“Oga tank you, madam tank you. God go bless una, for my life I no go believe dat prophet again. God tank…” Kai, e be like say na next time wen dem don comot na im I go come carry my wrapper wey dey inside wardrobe be dat.

“Mary, just go!”

As I bin dey comot, na im I hear oga ask madam, “So, how did you say she was bent… I mean how did you find her again?” E be like say my oga take style style get small craze, how im go ask madam dat kain question?

Omo men e no concern me sha but na so I bin take escape and na so I bin take start school. Who talk say Warri girl dey carry last?



This was first published on naijastories.com by Enoquin

Michelle Obama Rocking Natural Afro Hairdo

What do you think of Michelle Obama's afro hairstyle? I looks great if you ask me, and coming from Nigeria where we love changing our hairstyles every other week, the new hairstyle makes a lot of sense.


Some people are wondering how the majority of Americans will take it. We all know some parts of black America are obsessed with natural versus straightened hair, and some parts of white America are obsessed with how "really" American President Obama and Michelle are.

Well, they all need not worry. It is just photoshop! The handiwork of some of those in the first group who want to see the first lady in afro curls by hook or crook. Maybe like Viola Davis at the Oscars, Michelle Obama is listening and will rock her some real afro, LOL...


Check out some of the other looks of Michelle Obama.

Short Curls

Updo Curls

 Shoulder Length and Wavy

Pulled Back


Curls with a Side Fringe

Pageboy (This look somehow reminds me of Patience Jonathan's makeover)


Kick-Butt Characters Giveaway Hop

Hosted by I Am a Reader Not a Writer, this hop features the best Kick-Butt Characters in Young Adult Books. Several bloggers are taking part in this giveaway and featuring amazing books with fantastic characters. Check out the list of participants.


My giveaway is Cynthia's Attic: The Missing Locket by Mary Cunningham which features two friends, time travel, a family mystery, and lots of escapades.

Book Description

Magical costumes, disappearing stairs and a spooky attic filled with dusty antiques what more could two, adventurous, young girls ask for?

Best friends, Cynthia and Gus as she prefers to be called, are as "different as bubble gum and broccoli." They are, however, equal in their ability to get into trouble without much effort. In trying to escape the "boring summer" of 1964, the adventurous twelve-year-old girls stumble upon a trunk in Cynthia's attic that has been in her family for three generations. They discover its mystical qualities when they are swept into the trunk and whisked back to 1914, literally into the lives of their twelve-year-old grandmothers, Clara and Bess. The mystery of a missing family locket is revealed. Their quest takes numerous twists and turns, including a life-and-death struggle on a large steamship traveling from England to America. Along with perilous escapades, they make important, sometimes humorous discoveries about their ancestors, and even manage to change history for the better along the way.

To enter, Fill in the Rafflecopter form.

Book is for 10 years and up. Contest is open to anyone with a reliable mailing address. Contest ends on March 28 and winner will be selected on the 29. They will have 48 hours to respond to email or a new winner will be chosen. This giveaway is sponsored by me and there will be only ONE winner.



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Knowing When to Walk Away by Eddie Steeze


I’m not a bad person. I’ve done bad things, but I’m not a bad person. My life has been pretty straightforward: I see what I like, I position and strategize myself, I go in for the kill and I win. I always win. In academics, business, money, relationships, romance…

Romance…

I had a good rapport with females. I had lots of them coming at me in droves. And why not? I was young, funny, charming and generous (excuse me for sounding immodest). However, I never dated any of them. I did the occasional friends with benefits thing and nothing more. My friends thought I was weird. Just pick one, they would say. I tried explaining my reason for holding back, but none of them seemed to understand. So I bowed to pressure and dated a girl called Morenike. Worst mistake I ever made in the dating department.


The relationship ended barely after a month and I’d wasted her time and hurt her more than she deserved. Needless to say I was branded a player (if you are rolling your eyes at this point I completely understand). You are probably wondering why I’m commitment phobic. I’m not. I just believe that if I go into a relationship it has to mean something. I had to love her deeply and she had to be… special. My friends laughed at me whenever I said things like that. You’re dreaming, they said. You watch too much movies, they said. Why don’t you go out with Cynthia or go back to Morenike, they said. Nobody understood me and I began to wonder if what I wanted was a fairytale. Maybe it was time I grew up.

And then it happened.

I met her in church. It was one of those rare moments when I wore native attire and I was to give a testimony in church. After the testimony of how God had been good to me and my family and friends, which was met with appreciative applause, I went back to my seat. That was when I saw her. She was seated directly in front of me and my friends. I felt an immediate attraction to her. Her unassuming poise, her graceful long neck, the wistfulness in her eyes – perfection. I noticed two of the friends talking to her and I wondered how it was that they knew her and I didn’t. The rest of the service passed by in a blur. The pastor might have been talking to himself for all I cared. After the service I swung into action. I got her info from one of my friends as well as her phone number. I met her two days later and turned on my charm. Her laughter was music to my ears.

It was fascinating…

The more I got to know her, the more I became attracted to her. In my heart I knew she was The One. I had never felt so in sync with anyone before, so inexplicably drawn to another human being. Not seeing her was like keeping marijuana from a junkie. I’d never felt so vulnerable before. I don’t even know if I’m making any sense. But that is not to say that we were perfect together. We argued a lot, sometimes seriously, sometimes jokingly, but we never let things fester too long. We had a lot of great laughs together and were comfortable enough to act stupid in the presence of each other. It was everything I’d hoped it would be.

One night I worked up the courage to talk to her. I took her hand and I told her how I felt - everything.

I am in love with you.

She sat quiet for a very long time, not saying anything. When she opened her mouth, it wasn’t what I wanted to hear. She said I was a great guy, and (this part reluctantly) that she was starting to feel something like love for me. However, she was seeing someone else. More elaborately put, she was engaged. I laughed instinctively. Engaged. She can’t be engaged. I remembered she had hinted this before, but I had waved it aside as one of those things women said to test or gauge the seriousness of potential suitors. I mean, we had shared so much precious moments together. We had shared a kiss once and it felt real. Engaged. Somehow, I knew she wasn’t joking but at this point I was in too deep.

We spent the next few months together as we’d always done; being silly and being there for one another as well as the occasional kisses and make out sessions. I never pushed for sex. It wasn’t what I wanted. She was special. Every once in a while I’d remind her of how much I loved her and wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. I promised not to make her cry, and heaven on earth. To my surprise, I meant every word. I understood her situation. She had a tough decision to make. She didn’t want to lose any of us. She loved me, and she loved the other guy. Hell, she was engaged to him! She said her situation was complicated and that I wouldn’t understand. What was there to understand? I’d found the love of my life and yet I couldn’t completely have her. The pain I felt is inexplicable.

Once, high after a few bottles of beer with my guys, I called her up. After our usual banter, I broke into my usual tirade of how I loved her and how she should give ‘us’ a chance. As I was talking I didn’t know when I started crying. She hugged me close and we both started crying. I was shuddering violently and hating myself for being so vulnerable and pathetic. Me cry? The mighty has truly fallen.

She still didn’t say yes.

As months blurred into months, it became obvious that I had a decision to make. She loved us both, but she had an allegiance to the other guy. She’d met him first. They’d shared things that I and she would probably never share. She would never choose me. It hurt to face these truths but I had to. My love for her was bordering on obsession and I hated myself for caring so much. I stopped calling her and withdrew all my attention. Cold turkey. She made an effort to have me back but my decision was firm. Better to hurt now than later. I wanted what we had to be real but it wasn’t. I couldn’t pretend any longer.

Now I wonder if my friends were all right; that I was living a fairytale and watched too much movies. Maybe. I don’t know what to think anymore. In my heart I still love her and don’t think I could ever love anyone so deeply again. It hurts too much. Every day I struggle not to dial her number. I know I made the right choice. Thankfully, I’m reverting back to my old ways; charming, intellectual, generous, and careful. If there is one thing I know so well, it’s knowing when to walk away. I’m fine now.


P.S – My heart bleeds

________

Eddie Steeze blogs at http://9ja-dejavu.blogspot.com/

I believe I can Fly - Jarno Smeets and Human BirdWings

Do you believe someone could fly just by flapping their arms attached to wing-like material? Well, Jarno Smeets claims he did in the video below. There is some controversy on Gizmodo and The Register regarding whether it is real or CGI, but it makes for an interesting watch anyway.

What do you say, true or false? Can humans hope to fly like birds one day?

WA Romance Authors on why YOU should read Romance Novels

Recently, One+TheOne called me out in her blog series about The Journey to THE ONE when she wrote; "Romance books can damage your sense of reality: Now, I am not against romantic novels or literature (Myne Whitman, I believe, I believe :-) but I would say that it is very necessary to not get lost in fiction and forget how to live in real life!"


I agree with her that readers should take fiction for what it is - someone's imagination. However I think it is wrong to blame romance novels for damaging a reader's sense of reality. In my opinion, the outcome of reading a romance novel depends on what lessons the personality of the reader leads them to choose from their fiction. I read thousands of romance novels from when I was like ten, and believe me, it only made me more choosy and perceptive. Well, apart from my own experience, I've gone further to get some reinforcements from my fellow Romance Writers of West Africa.

Netty Ejike - Romance Writer and Publisher, Rafelo Romance - says;

Coming from Nigeria, Africa, I've come to understand why I cherish reading romance. It is a great source of entertainment for me, and yes, I believe that to ease stress we should allow ourselves to be sucked in in that dream land of happily-ever-after stories. Reading about some young damsels who are swept off their feet by daring, handsome rich guys is more refreshing than many other novels in other genres. And then comes the hidden lesson learnt in every romance novel, which can help shape the reader's character. If by reading romance novels I feel happier and more enlightened, then I recommend it to everyone. After all, what is life without some romance to spice it up?

Kiru Taye - Author of passionate romance novels set in hot exotic Africa - adds;

1. Romance readers learn about romance and how to improve your love life.
2. Romance readers get to visit locations and eras you would never have visited otherwise.
3. Romance readers get to follow the characters on a journey to love as they deal with different conflicts  and are guaranteed a happy ending. Think about all those endorphins released in the body when you're happy. Romance readers get that a lot.

_____________

Netty Ejike is the author of An Impious Proposal and Stormy Affair, and is also the chairman of the Enugu Chapter, Association of Nigeria Authors (ANA)



Kiru's Men of valor, a historical romance series set in medieval West Africa, is now available in ALL eBook formats from Breathless Press and also at Amazon. Her A Valentine Challenge is available at http://www.allromanceebooks.com/product-avalentinechallenge-676947-148.html, and you can find Kiru blogging at http://kirutayewrites.blogspot.com/.



Spring into Books Hop - What does Spring mean to you?



Welcome to the Spring into Books Hop hosted by eReading on the Cheap and Beck Valley Books. The hop lasts from March 20 - March 31st at 11:59 PM EST. Each blog participating has at least a $10 book related Prize. There will be two winners here,

Each winner will receive eBook copies of both my books (each a $5.99 value);







When Efe Sagay receives a transfer to the branch of a prestigious hotel chain in the Nigerian capital, she accepts it, happy to return home to family after years in the United States. Also, Nigeria is a big place, right? There should be nothing about her new city, Abuja, to remind her of the heartbreak of her relationship with ex-fiancĂ©, Kevwe Mukoro. However, Efe is facing Kevwe seven months later, swamped by emotions she’d thought were dead.














Gladys moves to live with an estranged aunt in Lagos and to continue her search for a job. Before long she lands the job of her dreams with the foremost oil company in the city and makes several new friends. She also gradually resolves the mystery of why her aunt previously cut all ties with their family. But the best part about her new life is meeting Edward Bestman.







To enter, you have to be following this blog and you will leave a comment on this post in answer to the question - What does Spring mean to you? Please ensure I can email you via your Blog Profile, or leave your email in your comments. The other people in this hop are as follows...


Spring Cleaning - Clearing Your Shelf Giveaway Hop


This giveaway hop is hosted by I Am a Reader Not a Writer. Spring is upon us and some people usually take this time to clean out their space. Several bloggers are using this opportunity to pass on books on their shelf to new homes. My giveaway is OTHER by Karen Kincy



Feathers unfurl from my skin. My plummet curves into a swoop, and I tuck my talons beneath my body. From girl to great horned owl in about a second. Pretty good, huh?

Gwen Williams is like any other modern teenager with one exception: she's a shapeshifter. Never having known her Pooka-spirit father, Gwen must struggle with the wild, wonderful magic inside of her alone—and in secret. While society may tolerate vampires, centaurs, and "Others" like Gwen, there are plenty of folks in Klikamuks, Washington, who don't care for her kind.

Now there's a new werewolf pack in town, and Others are getting killed, including Gwen's dryad friend. The police are doing zilch. In the midst of terrible loss and danger, Gwen meets a cute Japanese fox spirit who's refreshingly comfortable with his Otherness. Can Gwen find the courage to embrace her true self and find the killer-before she becomes the next victim?

To enter, use the Rafflecopter form (it may take a few seconds to load). Entries close on March 25, winner will announced here on the 26th, and I'll send them an email soon after.


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The full list of participants;

Dear Myne: He goes 3 weeks without talking to me?

Yes, I decided to call this the Dear Myne column. I'm no psychologist, but maybe some of you out there are, and there is definitely wisdom among many. Thanks for your comments.


Please Myne I need ur advice on this. I’m so sorry about the long read. I just couldn’t pour my heart out to anyone like I just did now. Sorry for any errors I can’t even proof read. I’m so sad right now. Thanks.
Well, BF and I are having some issues. My BF is the weirdest person I’ve met so far in my life. Yea he’s just so weird. Since the early days of our relationship he just disappears from time to time. The first time, I didn’t hear from him for a month and I didn’t check on him either coz I knew nothing happened between us, I just kept wondering what the hell is wrong with him. Anyway when we finally started talking I asked what happened and all he could say was he wanted to know how long he could stay away from me. Seriously? Who does that??? Sigh.

Such thing has happened like 4 times now, it is becoming a frequent thing these days. The last one we had was towards the ending of February when I was resuming school, we didn’t even get to say goodbye. We went 3 weeks without talking and when he finally talked to me, I asked what the problem was and he said nothing that we are cool. How can we be cool and go 3 weeks without talking and we are a couple? I just can’t understand all this, I told him I don’t like this, he apologized and said it won’t happen again that whenever I feel something wrong I should tell him that I shouldn’t wait for him to figure out something is wrong. I can’t understand how going weeks without keeping in touch will be a normal thing.

He complains of work all the time now, I know his work is a challenging one especially now that he has a deadline to meet. He’s an architect. But still I don’t think that’s a good reason to stay away from me. But he says that’s how he is. Well after the 3 weeks we settled things and we were back to normal, but then after few weeks he goes AWOL again, 2days without checking on me, I now sent a text asking what is wrong, he called apologized and asked me to be more patient with him. For crying out loud this guy is on my BBM, just a ping away oo. That passed and we were back talking again.

Two weeks later same thing happened, we chatted on a thurs night o, everything was cool between us, Friday I didn’t hear from him, when the day was almost over I called him no answer, sent a text no rply, snt a BBm msg no rply…hmmn. I woke up next morning to see his message apologizing that his batt was flat and his gen has a problem, he’s doomed everywhere but he’ll ping me later. Saturday night I sent another message telling him he didn’t ping o, still no rply until next morning, that he’s so sorry he will call me. Sunday night still no call, I was too angry to even send him a message again so I just ignored him.

Still on Monday no nothing so I sent a text telling him that I can see he’s taking me for granted he knows I love him and he can come back anytime and just apologize which won’t stop him from repeating the same thing.

He replied “Sorry I’m not taking u for granted, just the way I am. I’m just like that, I can always disappear for a while, I’m not saying its good, just the way I am. But I always come back and apologize. U should be kinda used to it by now. Its not me taking u for granted, it just happens. Sorry. U have a right to be frustrated and annoyed, wish I can change or say it won’t happen again but I don’t know. Sorry” yeah this was his exact words.

I forgot to mention that in most cases I don’t bother to check up on him when he disappears because I know I didn’t do anything wrong. But from that day he told me to inform him whenever I feel he’s acting weird and since then I do ask him what’s up we didn’t talk today.

And I’ve told him time without number that this habit of his makes me feel insecure but that still hasn’t made him change. If he really loves me, i think he can change little things like this especially when he knows am having doubts. On my side I think I can change something out of my habit that makes him feel I don’t love him much. He has always told me that I shouldn’t change for him he likes me the way I am, maybe he’s been trying to send the message to me since that he’s not going to change for me and I’m just realizing now.

I’m so confused right now I can’t even think of what to do, could he be cheating on me or he doesn’t like me anymore? I couldn’t even reply the text. Its not like this is the first time he’s staying away from me, just that its becoming a habit now it happens too often. He sent this text on Tuesday and we still haven’t talked yet. I just don’t know what to do about this his new habit, it is just too much for me.

Adele: Chasing Pavements - Romance Meets Music

Beautiful of Pieces of Me (I prefer, Megababeextra) is back, and she says I make love look so sweet. I do love the sweet easy going love, but from my books, you'll realize that I know the road to happy-ever-after is usually rough and tumble. I also know that if you do meet the right person when the stars align, the bumps are smoothed out by the end.

However, it can be hit-and-miss at the beginning. Maybe someone likes you but you can't reciprocate, or you crush on someone and he is unavailable, just like Adele sings in Chasing Pavements.

Have a great day all, and Happy Mothering Sunday to those in Nigeria.

When a relationship breaks down - Don Jazzy and Dbanj

Don Jazzy, the guy who produced that song which got me rocking the dance floor on my wedding day tweeted  earlier todayabout the rumours of his split with Dbanj. I shook my head of course. I didn't miss the splash made in the media of Dbanj's gaffe in an interview. And because I watched the full clip of his interview with Sahara Reporters some weeks prior, I won't be surprised if he had actually misyarned. The guy is not all that. He's just an entertainer, like he said.


Now I don't also know Don Jazzy except when people I do follow retweet him or the rags carry his tweets, so I'm not taking sides. I read the following tweets first thing this morning from one of my BB contacts.

"It is with a heavy heart that I announce the end of a long era and the beginning of a new one."
"Some of the rumours you have all heard recently are sad but true."
"The way forward now is to make sure I keep bringing you guys more of the beautiful music y'all love to dance to."
"And to end the old era I will be donating the proceeds of my production catalogue from day 1 till date to 5 charity organizations. Thanks. IDJA".

I wonder if the deal with Kanye's GOOD music has anything to do with what's going on. Has dealing with the supposed American music royalty made one of them lose respect for the other lower class naija celeb? Maybe Kanye West makes better beats than Don Jazzy. Or is one becoming jealous of the high profile of the other? Who knows?

Reminds me of romantic relationships in a way. Things move smoothly when all things are equal, but bring in new circumstances, and the couple fall apart. Sometimes, when you are not close enough to be privy to all details, you may never be able to determine how to put mouth. In other cases, it may just be so obvious where some part of the blame lies, if not all. And it is in situations like this that the importance of respect and good communication is manifested.

Any relationship just rolling along on the good times is a risky venture. All couples should;

-Start on time to build trust, respect, and talk about their issues, current and expected.
-They should have plans for future projections, children, education, job loss, that kind of thing.
-They should know what they can bear and what is out of bounds, like domestic violence, lying/deceit, cheating, etc.

Life by its nature is unpredictable, and change is the only constant. We should try to be prepared at all times. Yes, it can be out of our hands sometimes, but we're not so powerless all the time.

Okeoghene blogged recently about Marriage and Finances where a husband lost his job and the working wife became the sole breadwinner. And then the story takes a turn,
"Last month, the wife feeling the need to upgrade her wardrobe bought a couple of outfits and shoes before giving the husband what was left. The husband was furious, he refused to collect the money  and he told her she doesn't have the right to spend the money. He hit her then told her he is the one to decide if she needs new clothes or shoes."

In both the Don Jazzy/Dbanj case, or the husband/wife case above, we may never know the full details.  However, if he did, Dbanj shouldn't have claimed he owned Mohits and Don Jazzy was his lackey. It is comparable to the husband hitting his wife. Some things are just plain wrong. But hey, what do I know?

Good luck to all the parties involved. Relationships are so difficult sometimes.

Lucky Leprechaun Giveaway - What's your Lucky Day?


The Lucky Leprechaun giveaway hop is hosted by I Am a Reader Not a Writer and several blogs are taking part, with lots of amazing gifts, Check the full list of participants. There will be two winners here,

Each winner will receive eBook copies of both my books;


To enter, fill out the form below. You have to be following this blog to be eligible and you will leave a comment on this post in answer to the question - Describe a recent lucky day? You also get extra entries if you tweet about the giveaway and follow me on Twitter.


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Ashley Judd in Missing - The ABC TV Show


Who watched Missing - the ABC series with Ashley Judd yesterday? After seeing trailers ads on almost every other website including the large one here on my blog, I decided to give it a go yesterday. I didn't last more than 30 mins and I think that told me all I needed to know. I feel they rushed into the story, with the husband blown up in their first five minutes, and Ashley Judd fighting the baddies within 15 minutes. A slow build-up of both the character and story suspense would have worked better for me. As it is, I haven't really connected with the main character and I'm supposed to be cheering her on?

Already, from the promos on TV, I knew it was along the same plot lines as Taken, a movie with Liam Neeson where his daughter was kidnapped for sex trafficking in France. It turns out he's a CIA operative and he goes into action to rescue her. Missing is basically the same, except here, it is the mother that is an Ex-CIA agent and going to save her son in Italy. I have been wondering if such a movie-like story can be told in series and I don't have a positive answer at this stage. I will give it another try next week, but I don't know.

Truth is, I'm a fan of Ashley Judd from the movie, Double Jeopardy, but she appears much too serious in this role. I guess having your son kidnapped will do that to you. Also, Missing reminds me a bit of NBC Undercovers (With Boris Kodjoe and South African actress, Gugu Mbatha-Raw), another series with spies travelling all over the world and fighting the baddies. However, like that one, I have a feeling Missing may soon be cancelled.

Fingers crossed for the show. I hope the upcoming Scandal will be better.

Re: Christianity and Sex - What's a young Lady to do?

This is the response from the young lady who sent in that request.

Good morning, Myne. I just have to say this - thank you for posting my letter on your blog. The comments have been so realistic and helpful, and as anticipated, I did have a lot of fun. The personal experiences mentioned have taught me so much, and will be a guide in my next relationship. The comments from the males, Gbemisoke and a few others really blew my mind.

I spoke to the dear "Spirit-filled" brother who visited about how uncomfortable I was about what happened, and how we should have talked about stuff like that before he visited, and though he apologised, he called a few days later, saying he feels he's taking another man's wife. So, we are officially over. *smiling*

I believe, as Anonymous 2 said, that God will not give me a stone when I asked Him for bread. So right now, I'm sure my own bread is being baked, to be presented to me when it's at the right consistency, and would taste just perfect!

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So I actually replied to the email before I put it up here. This was my response;

1. Are you still in love with your Ex? I assumed you had good reason to finally break up with him after you found he started dating other girls before officially ending your own relationship. If you do still have feelings, you may give him a friendly call and see if he's still single. However, maybe it's better you do not because sometimes it's better to leave the past as is.

2. Your new BF sounds like an OK guy but you seem not to really like him? I also wonder why he has to make a physical move on your first night together, maybe you did not let him know your stand on sex before marriage? How long have you guys known and been talking/in a relationship before now? I would suggest you ask yourself if you really see him as your husband? If you do, then calmly explain to him at a neutral time that you would prefer if you both wait for marriage. At that time, you can both also agree on how far to go when physically expressing your love. If on the other hand, you're just not comfortable with him, maybe it's time to let him know and move on?

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So thanks to everyone for all your contributions. Have a great weekend.

What Men Notice About Women - Atala Writes

Funke Akindele covers YNaija!

The question of what men notice immediately about women is one of those questions that keeps on popping up again and again in conversation. And no wonder... a person wants to know what everyone else is thinking so that he or she can take advantage of them... erm, I mean, have a better relationship with them. So it stands to reason that if women know what thing men notice first, then (assuming they want to attract men), they can flaunt that thing to the max, if it’s available to flaunt.

Well, that’s the theory. The reality is, as I’m sure you can guess, no two men like the same thing. Most men probably notice sizeable busts and derrieres – and I think there’s supposed to be a biological reason for that – but beyond that, I’m sure that the things that catch men’s attentions are as varied as the men themselves. For example, what really catches my attention about a women is her eyes, especially if they’re hooded and spaced wide apart. Another thing I’ll notice is her nose, if it’s small and ‘compact’.


I find it fascinating about how differently we notice these things. They’re obviously a product of our life experiences and our inherited dispositions - but I do wonder about what could have happened in someone’s life to make him fixate on the hairs in a woman’s nostrils. (Not that there’s anything wrong with nostril hair.) In the end, the visual cues are just stage one in the much bigger game of romance, but it doesn’t make it any less fascinating.

So questions for the guys?

1. What do you first notice when you meet a lady?

2. Is there a difference about what you notice and what you find attractive? The ladies can feel free to answer this one too. Like I might notice a tall girl but may find the dimpled smile on a shorter one more attractive.
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For those who missed it, catch up on what First Thing Ladies Notice About Men.

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