Please how can i get my husband to love kissing and engage in it. I love kissing and its one thing that turns me on for love making. I practically compels him to kiss me every time and we only manage to lip-lock for about 30 secs or less. We've talked about it several times through the years( been married for 11+ yrs) and no improvement. No amount of touching lubricates me like kissing.
Once in a while he succumbs, and it brings me on and we have a very good love making. Can i really do anything about it or is it absolutely an african thing of our men not liking kissing? Am talking about kissing in the privacy of our room. Thanks
>>>This request came in on the Is it our culture to kiss post, and Hannah gave such a fantastic response that I just had to publish here too. Please read on and share your own tips and suggestions too.
It's not an African man thing, especially in this generation, like Myne said. I think it's now more of an individual thing. Personally, although I love kissing, I'm not a great fan of PDA, but since my husband is, I've learnt to kiss in public and block out everyone else. I think he's toned it down a bit, too, so it's more of a win-win thing. However, I did witness my parents kiss on a couple of occasions, especially after periods of absence like a trip or something, and it was a chaste peck on the lips, no lip-locking.
Fastforward a few years after my mom's death, and I was witnessing my dad remarrying a much younger woman. It wasn't written into the programme, but she reminded the officiating minister about the "You may kiss the bride" part. Honestly, the kiss was the motor-rotor type- even I wanted to sink through the floor in embarrassment! And my dad is a clergyman, so you can imagine the. That kiss put even laymen to shame. I think she would have gone on, but if I remember rightly, he was the one who pushed her away gently. Whew! Well, I guess that was when I knew that he had it in him...and I guess the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree, heh-heh. :)
If you've talked to your husband again and again, I don't know what else you can do...except to keep emphasizing it. I also think you should initiate kissing outside the bedroom. If he's made to see how important it is to you, there's hope! I believe he's a reasonable man and he'll come around.
This response is so on point. Initiating the kissing outside the bedroom and outside the context of sex. Let it be one of your habits, a peck here, a peck there, and he'll become more used to it. Also, she should ask her husband HOW he wants to be kissed, maybe he prefers it soft, with little nips and sucks, rather than aggressive or vice versa.
What do you think?