A lot of people still have various ignorant and unfounded ideas about infertility. Some believe it is a curse from the wicked witches in your village, or it is a sign from God for you to repent and be saved, or you need to pray more, or you must have had uncountable sexual partners; or had numerous abortions, or you need to resign from your job, etc, etc. It makes me wonder if those people have even bothered to read even the most general information on infertility?
It is estimated that one in six couples face difficulties in conceiving. If you have had unprotected regular sex for more than 12 months (or six months - if you are over 35) and are still not pregnant, you should start thinking about possible causes for your infertility.
Infertility can be primary or secondary. Primary infertility describes couples who have never been able to become pregnant after at least 1 year of unprotected sex (intercourse).
Secondary infertility describes couples who have been pregnant at least once, but have not been able to become pregnant again.
According to National Survey of Family Growth, CDC 1995, approximately 6.1 million women and their partners in the U.S. are affected by infertility, i.e., 10% of the total reproductive-age population. [Women Health Info]
The statistics up there refer to couples or women in America who try to conceive and cannot have children due to fertility issues. Most of these people are not Nigerians and have no enemies in their villages.
Yes, indeed some infertility diagnosis are based on trauma either caused by bad abortions or by mistreated sexually transmitted infections but they are a very small percentage. The majority of cases are by natural causes including hormonal problems, ovarian problems, cysts, fibroid, etc.
And just because one woman who had two abortions found it difficult to conceive does not mean all other women with infertility issues have the exact same problem. I'm sure for one woman with infertility caused by scarring due to D&C are 10 others that went on to have their children without worries. OK, I admit, I have no stats for that one. :)
Those interested can see more info on causes of female infertility as compiled by the Mayo Clinic and Stanford University.
Infertility is not about Christian salvation or prayers. Have we forgotten there are several billion people on this earth who are not Christians. No, I don't think they're all going to hell, neither do I think the women who have problems conceiving or having children are being punished by God.
Also, a lot of Christian women all over the world live and deal with infertility. People are not excluded from having problems just because they go to church or pray ten times a day. God is not a vindictive God, the God I know anyway, and I have consistently rejected arguments that difficulties are God way of communicating with us. Difficulties are a fact of life, how we chose to deal with them only reveals the measure of our faith.
Infertility is a medical diagnosis, just like malaria, or cancer. The only way you get treated is with the right medical protocol meant specifically for you. Infertility is not automatically someone's fault, or caused by what the person is doing.
I don't need to eat more, or eat less, or sit more or lie down less, or stop work, or relax or stand on my head. If you're not a doctor, zip it. The best you can do for a friend or family member is to encourage them to visit a qualified specialist and to be honest and follow the doctor's orders.
Faith certainly helps, and I pray and appreciate all prayers said on my behalf. However, for me, infertility healing does not come by the laying on of hands of your favorite pastor or by reading some specific psalms meant to destroy my enemies.