Remaining Celibate - For Young Singles and Couples
This is one of the hot button topics for young people who either want to reach full potential in their study or career without sexual distraction, or who want to stick to their moral or religious ethics on the issue of pre-marital sex. In cases like in this post, when the reasons for celibacy are personal and well understood by the individual to benefit them, I am all for supporting and assisting to maintain that decision.
Today, I'll be discussing tips for those in a relationship, but even single people also struggle sometimes with celibacy since sexual energy is internal, even more than external. Some of the suggestions below can be adapted by anyone, even married people wanting to abstain for a while, or who are spending some time apart due to work or other circumstances.
1. When it is time to define your relationship, bring up the topic of celibacy and ensure you are on the same page with your partner. Do not make it all about you, hear the other person out and try to see if there can be a middle ground that you both are comfortable with.
2. Have a full and multi-dimensional life. Most of us have a linear or triangular life - from school to the home, or library to church to home. Make new friends and spend time with them too. Join a church worker's group, or a social group that suits your lifestyle.
3. Try new things, find hobbies and spend time developing them. Things like knitting, painting, playing soccer or any other sports, these things will keep your mind off thinking too much about sex.
4. In the time you spend with your partner, ensure you are usually outdoors. It could be going out for a meal, cinema, or with other people, to a wedding or other occasions.
5. Make your relationship public as keeps you both more accountable, and also helps you grow as a couple as you are able to study how you both interact with other people outside your inner circle of two.
6. Don't be a couch potato. You may both love watching TV and movies but we all know that couch can quickly become an erogenous zone on all its own. Do not also study together at home if you're both students, use the library.
7. Choose more active hobbies to do together. Go walking, play ping-pong or tennis together, swimming can also be a way to burn off energy. These strenous sports will tire you out both physically and mentally.
8. Show your love so you don't begin to forget that you are a romantic couple. Hold hands while out working. Hug after a good game. Sit together when out with others and have your own private code language if minded to.
9. Book a spa massage for both of you, and if possible have it done in the same room. It will relax you as well as bond you as you experience the goodness of that sometimes semi-sexual experience without the danger. Just make sure not to go directly home together.
10. Those little words are even more important now - Thank you, I'm sorry, Please, Excuse me. Do not take each other for granted, but compliment what they do well or for you. Give each other gifts to appreciate what you like. Compliment them liberally, even if just for working with you on being celibate.
In conclusion, remember that the celibacy stage is usually temporary, and just for a time. Don't get too comfortable being non-sexual that you begin to see each other as brother and sister. Sex is an important component of relationships and helps to bond a couple together, not to talk of the stress-busting and pleasure-giving aspects. So, always discuss your mutual celibacy and make plans for when you will be together, in every way.