How Many Boyfriends Does A Nigerian Girl Have?
I saw this video and I didn't know whether it was made in jest or it was a serious, view-on-the-street kind of documentary. To the question in my title, the majority opinion was from at least 2 or 3 to as many as possible. Before we get our knickers in a twist, remember it is possible the makers of the video had several one-boyfriend respondents and decided to feature more of those with the less conventional 2-or-more opinion. Anyway, this post is not to condemn or support the views in the video, but to muse on some of the points raised.
1. One of the girls actually mentioned the terrible economy of Nigeria as her reason for preferring to have several boyfriends, that response did get me laughing. She said it in such a matter of fact way. Another said that she needed the money she received for the fluff - weavons, phones, etc - that allowed her to keep up with the Joneses around her. Cann we girls not do without these fluff?
2. I don't know what these girls or the makers of the video are defining as boyfriends. Do they mean boys who are friends, emotional relationships, or sexual partners. From the responses, it seems to be all of the above, not sure though. Someone mentioned that one of her boyfriends lived abroad, makes me think there may be no real sex going on, if at all. And from the way they referred snidely to some of the men, there seems to be no emotional feelings between them, more like a business transaction.
3. A few responses mentioned marriage and the fact that they hope to get married to one of the men they are dating in due course. So for them, one is the back-up plan. I was wondering at that point if they knew who the primary guy was and who the plan B was. Or are they both on equal footing? Are men really that interchangeable? Can one person love to men at the same time?
4. Several of the girls say they love one of their 'boyfriends' deeply and the others are just because of condition. I wonder what type of love that is that allows them to so easily betray the guys. A refrain that cropped up was "lies, lies, lies", as a girl described how she kept her two boyfriends as parallel lines that could never meet. That kind love tire me sha...
5. A girl explained the names she gave her three or four boyfriends as lover, expenses, dulling, study, etc. All the names are self-explanatory. The Lover was the one she really cared for; Expenses was the chequebook guy - he paid the bills; Dulling was the life of the party - he made sure she was entertained over the weekends, Study helped her with books and exams. Made me wonder, is it not possible to have all these qualities in one guy?
6. Convention says girls should be virgins till marriage, or have just one relationship that hopefully leads to marriage. In reality, such conventions are often tossed by the wayside. In a place like Nigeria, ignorance, patriarchy, and a bad economy combine to twist the perception and psyche of young girls in unimaginable ways. If I ask these girls if they believed they had the power in these relationships, or if it is a feeling of powerlessness that drives them, I wonder what answers I will get.
7. Don't we all do stupid things when we are young and restless, bold and beautiful? Most of the girls in the videos looked to be late teens and early twenties, and are sowing the polytechnic/university wild oats. At that age, I had several toasters, guys who are romantically interested in you. I dated some of them concurrently, and though none was a real boyfriend, one could argue that I was cheating. Funny enough, I never said yeah or nay to most of them, the friendships ultimately fizzle out when the guys realize they won't crack the platonic ceiling :)
So, have you seen the video? What do you think?