Dear Myne - His Ex Has Become Our Biggest Nightmare

I got an email yesterday that got me fuming along with the sender. Honestly, some exes can be problematic. I replied her and asked if she wanted me to put this on my blog. I was hoping we could get more opinions and also maybe some of you readers have experienced the case of the ex and will be able to share how you dealt with it. The email is below...


Dear Myne, ur a big part of my day. surfing through ur blog everyday is like coffee in the morning…

I write with you now with so much anger. let me explain myself. my bf and I have known each other for 4 years and counting…we’ve been on and off but since about a year we’ve been so in love and am loving everyday. he strengthens me in ways I cannot even mention and pushes me to be the best I can be, but recently his ex from over 5 years ago has been our biggest nightmare.

She keeps calling him and he bluntly tells her to stop, he even blocked her on bbm and she still finds a way to poke herself into his life. recently she sends over 7 text messages a day…all bull crap of how she can’t do without him and that he took a piece of her, she cannot forget given the fact she was a virgin when they met and he was her first....bla bla bla. Am so frustrated and don’t know what to do.

my boyfriend has assured me one million times she’s not a treat but as a woman I just cant help but be worried…whats the deal with a stubborn ex, and getting rid of them? Am not the drama/violent type to start calling and threatening her and quite frankly I don’t even have that time …..

Pls I need help as it stresses the hell out of me..thanks!

So what do you guys think?

From my end, there's one thing I read that made me chill a bit, and that is that her boyfriend is not giving the ex much attention and is telling the writer plainly that he is on her side. I suggested she should trust him and try to put that ex out of her mind.

Also, she could also talk to the boyfriend to get the ex completely blocked so that he doesn't even get text messages at all. Some smart phones can do this but I'm not sure about BBM.

I'm not the violent type myself and I don't believe in women fighting over men, especially when the man in question has made it clear the ex doesn't matter to him. So I say, ignore the ex for now. If she continues after all this, then maybe the writer can give her a call, not to fight or curse her out, but just to give her the facts and tell her to move on. Depending on where they live, I also suggested getting the police to give the ex a warning for harassment. Because that's what it is.

Again, I hope you guys can add some more ideas to help those in this kind of palava.

Elsewhere on the Web