Yesterday, we were discussing co-habitation, and today I have a guest post on the same topic. Erica St. Claire looks at some ways to help you decide if you're ready for the big move.
So you’ve been dating for a while and the idea of moving in with your boyfriend has been presented. This can be very exciting as moving in together allows an the opportunity for the two of you to grow closer by sharing a key, a bed and the same roof.
But because moving in together also involves sharing more serious things like rent, bills, groceries, and a slew of other obligations, if done without proper consideration, moving in with your significant other can result in broken leases and even broken hearts. So to make sure that your relationship doesn’t go straight to hell in a U-Haul, be sure to ask yourself the following questions before committing to packing your bags and picking out paint colors with your new roomie:
Do you spend most of your time together? If you are at your guy’s place six days out of the week and your own apartment is basically one extremely overpriced storage facility, then moving in with him might make a lot of sense. Living with another human being isn’t always easy—but when you can spend a large chunk of your time outside of work with your man and for the majority of it you truly enjoy each other’s company without either of you feeling suffocated, then there is the likely chance that your new living arrangement will be a successful one.
How do you resolve conflict in your relationship? There is no surprise that communication between couples is one of the most important ingredients to mixing up a healthy relationship. And because there are bound to be misunderstandings, tiffs and even a few fights in any healthy relationship between couples who reside together, openly communicating to resolve such conflicts is essential. So that arguments with your man aren’t the knock-down, drag-out kind, make sure that the two of you have established a solid technique for resolution that enables you to effectively handle any issues which may arise that are bigger than just leaving the toilet seat up or forgetting to take out the trash.
Are you moving in together to save money? If your answer to this question is yes, put down the listing to the new apartment you and your man are eyeing and step away from the Realtor. In today’s frightening economic climate, people everywhere are doing anything they can to save a buck or two. But when your idea of embarking upon a cohabitating relationship is fueled by the idea of pinching pennies, you aren’t moving in together for the right reasons. Sure living by yourself is more expensive financially, but if you aren’t in love and ready to commit to a permanent relationship in a joint household, then you could wind up paying more than expected in a situation that is more expensive emotionally.
Can you compromise on where to live? Making the decision to move in together is no doubt a big one, and it comes with big compromises—one of them being the compromise of where the two of you will actually call home at the end of the day. Sit down together and carefully consider whether to move into his place, your place or start someplace new. When moving into a home in which one of you already lives, there is risk of the original occupant feeling smothered and the new roommate risks feeling like it is not as much their home as it is their partner’s. If it reasonably coincides with your circumstances, throw said risks out the window and move in to a brand new place for you and your man to build a home together from scratch.
Erica St. Claire is a guest post author who enjoys writing about dating and relationships. Erica also writes for Best Christian Dating Sites where she offers her tips for safe online dating to the Christian community.