Dear Myne: He goes 3 weeks without talking to me?

Yes, I decided to call this the Dear Myne column. I'm no psychologist, but maybe some of you out there are, and there is definitely wisdom among many. Thanks for your comments.


Please Myne I need ur advice on this. I’m so sorry about the long read. I just couldn’t pour my heart out to anyone like I just did now. Sorry for any errors I can’t even proof read. I’m so sad right now. Thanks.
Well, BF and I are having some issues. My BF is the weirdest person I’ve met so far in my life. Yea he’s just so weird. Since the early days of our relationship he just disappears from time to time. The first time, I didn’t hear from him for a month and I didn’t check on him either coz I knew nothing happened between us, I just kept wondering what the hell is wrong with him. Anyway when we finally started talking I asked what happened and all he could say was he wanted to know how long he could stay away from me. Seriously? Who does that??? Sigh.

Such thing has happened like 4 times now, it is becoming a frequent thing these days. The last one we had was towards the ending of February when I was resuming school, we didn’t even get to say goodbye. We went 3 weeks without talking and when he finally talked to me, I asked what the problem was and he said nothing that we are cool. How can we be cool and go 3 weeks without talking and we are a couple? I just can’t understand all this, I told him I don’t like this, he apologized and said it won’t happen again that whenever I feel something wrong I should tell him that I shouldn’t wait for him to figure out something is wrong. I can’t understand how going weeks without keeping in touch will be a normal thing.

He complains of work all the time now, I know his work is a challenging one especially now that he has a deadline to meet. He’s an architect. But still I don’t think that’s a good reason to stay away from me. But he says that’s how he is. Well after the 3 weeks we settled things and we were back to normal, but then after few weeks he goes AWOL again, 2days without checking on me, I now sent a text asking what is wrong, he called apologized and asked me to be more patient with him. For crying out loud this guy is on my BBM, just a ping away oo. That passed and we were back talking again.

Two weeks later same thing happened, we chatted on a thurs night o, everything was cool between us, Friday I didn’t hear from him, when the day was almost over I called him no answer, sent a text no rply, snt a BBm msg no rply…hmmn. I woke up next morning to see his message apologizing that his batt was flat and his gen has a problem, he’s doomed everywhere but he’ll ping me later. Saturday night I sent another message telling him he didn’t ping o, still no rply until next morning, that he’s so sorry he will call me. Sunday night still no call, I was too angry to even send him a message again so I just ignored him.

Still on Monday no nothing so I sent a text telling him that I can see he’s taking me for granted he knows I love him and he can come back anytime and just apologize which won’t stop him from repeating the same thing.

He replied “Sorry I’m not taking u for granted, just the way I am. I’m just like that, I can always disappear for a while, I’m not saying its good, just the way I am. But I always come back and apologize. U should be kinda used to it by now. Its not me taking u for granted, it just happens. Sorry. U have a right to be frustrated and annoyed, wish I can change or say it won’t happen again but I don’t know. Sorry” yeah this was his exact words.

I forgot to mention that in most cases I don’t bother to check up on him when he disappears because I know I didn’t do anything wrong. But from that day he told me to inform him whenever I feel he’s acting weird and since then I do ask him what’s up we didn’t talk today.

And I’ve told him time without number that this habit of his makes me feel insecure but that still hasn’t made him change. If he really loves me, i think he can change little things like this especially when he knows am having doubts. On my side I think I can change something out of my habit that makes him feel I don’t love him much. He has always told me that I shouldn’t change for him he likes me the way I am, maybe he’s been trying to send the message to me since that he’s not going to change for me and I’m just realizing now.

I’m so confused right now I can’t even think of what to do, could he be cheating on me or he doesn’t like me anymore? I couldn’t even reply the text. Its not like this is the first time he’s staying away from me, just that its becoming a habit now it happens too often. He sent this text on Tuesday and we still haven’t talked yet. I just don’t know what to do about this his new habit, it is just too much for me.

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