The Tuface Valentine Proposal - Marrying a Person with a Present Past?

Most of you must have seen this news around of Tuface proposing to his longtime girlfriend, and the mother of one of his children, on Valentine's day. I was a bit conflicted when I read about it. On one hand, the romantic in me was like, awww... that's so sweet. However, my more logical head couldn't stop with the snark. What are you thinking? Romantic, my foot. Are you sure those are tears of joy? What about the other baby mamas? Isn't one of them actually pregnant right now? I couldn't help wondering if Tuface hadn't burned his boats on the romance front, and should just keep a low profile.

So this has been a topic with friends over the years, and I'll like if you can discuss with me. Should a person's history be held against them in a relationship? This is especially pertinent when that past is still present in the form of children, known exes, and/or baby mamas.

Well, Tuface cleared the air in a recent interview. Look at the first question and his answer. "Of your three ‘baby mamas’, why Annie? That’s where my heart led me to." That explains his choice of Valentine's Day to pop the question. Isn't that so cute? And that's not all. When asked if he had been nervous before he popped the question, he said yes, but that he was sure of what he was doing, and if she had turned him down then, he would have asked again. But wait, there's more. He said he was ready to start the journey of being a one-woman man and will change "Everything that needs to change" from now on.

Below is an excerpt of Tuface's interview with Nigeria Entertainment Today

Considering that you have known her for such a long time and what has happened with you with the women and the children, when did you decide to make the move?

It was part of my New Year resolution to follow my heart this year.

How did the thought come into your mind?

Like any other thought about something important. You start feeling the need to do something or go somewhere different from deep within. Then you just make your move one time. No shaking.

Why did it take you so long to finally make this decision?

I needed to get there, you know, reach the point wey e be say, gbagam!  My mind, heart and everything dey ready. The timing for marriage should not be determined by any outside influence my guy. If you are not ready for it don’t commit to it because some people think you should.

What is your relationship with the other mothers of your children?

Same at it has been all the while. Cordial mostly. I’ve still got respect for them because we have kids together.

Do you know their reaction to this decision?

I know it may be difficult if any one happens to still be attached emotionally but I can only hope they understand that that’s where my heart is.

Other women have been associated with you in the past five years. Pero, as a matter of fact, is expecting a third child for you soon. One would have expected that the woman with three children would be your option. Not that you owe it anyone, but can you explain the reason for your choice?

Wow! And someone else would say it should have been the mother of my eldest child. Another person will even argue that it should be the lady that has been with me for the longest time. These are matters of the heart. They can’t always be analysed like that. Sometimes you no fit analyse am at all sef.

Being that you had three women to choose from, at least seemingly, what it is about Annie that decided it for you?

My mind, my body, my soul, my heart chose her.

With all these avowals from Tuface, I want to believe that his past history should not held over his head.

I am of the opinion that men and women with a history of broken long-term relationships, including divorcees and singles with children/exes, should have their second (or more) chances at love too. We all make mistakes in one form or another, and if someone has genuinely moved on and is ready to take a chance at love again, it's not for me to take any moral high ground.

Please bear in mind that this discussion is not just about Tuface, his life is his after all, but a general one. Some of us have a darker past, with abortions, secret one night stands, and so on, but we chop and clean mouth. Those with children outside marriage, or with broken marriages just do not have that option.

That said, I'm not sure I would've married someone with an ex or children. What about you?