Sex on the First Date - What's the Big Deal?

First published on by Greatness4life

I’m sure all the 'Holier than thou peeps' are about to get their panties in a bunch just from the title alone, but, nonetheless I’m here to talk about having sex. And doing it on the first date - I mean doing it hard on the first date. I’m a 21st century woman, and a lover of sex.

I don’t consider myself an "ashawo" or anything like that but I do believe in sexual freedom, meaning if I want to have sex, I simply do gorgeously. I don’t need permission or clearance to do so. I’m sure some people have already called me names from my statement, but whatever.

I was having a discussion with a few friends over drinks (that’s when everyone was honest) and the issue of sex on the first date came up.

Oh!! Before I go into all that we discussed, let me give a mini story.

A while ago, one or two years ago, maybe.

I was introduced to a guy by a mutual friend via facebook.

A very good looking guy.

After a few messages and chats on fb.

We connected on BB, and chatted up a bit.

Over the next few days.

We talked and got to know each other better, and all that good stuff.

Eventually I agreed to go out on a date with him.

The date was as good as any date I had been on.

He was just as handsome as I expected via his pictures.

His look and body configurations captivated and ensnared my heart.

We talked about a range of topics, and he pretty much impressed me with his intellects, and vast knowledge on a lot of things.

This guy was very well rounded.

After dinner,

we headed to a bar,

had a few drinks,

Then we’re in the club dancing the night away, and I was having a good time of my life.

Slow dancing,

Extra touching,

Eyes fixing,

And, one thing led to another

In a nutshell, we found ourselves at his apartment making out on the couch.


Now at this point, the girl in me is thinking

“Slow Down”

But everything else points to letting things flow.

And let it flow, I did.

We had sex. I mean great sex if I may add.

That was beginning of a 15 months relationship.

We broke up eventually for numerous reasons but we remain friends.

Now, back to the present,

I told my friends of my sex on the first date and how it leads to my last relationship.

To my surprise I was judged by almost everyone.

The guys,

The girls,

And, I’m sure the bottles too.

“How could you?” was their yelling

“That’s ashawo behaviour”

“That’s probably why you guys didn’t last”

“He never respected you.”

You would think I offered to have sex with him for money on the first date.

I personally think that if it feels right, then go ahead with it.

I’ve done the whole “wait for the 3rd date” thing, and guess what?

After that date where we had sex, a few days later he was acting funny.

And a week or 2 later he was history.

I have friends who hold out for months.

Once the guy gets the nookie, he bails.

So really, what’s the big deal with having sex on the first date?

Why place so much emphasis on it?

I’m of the opinion that it’s only an immature and insecure man that’ll hold that against you.

One common statement I get from guys is

“Well if it was that easy for one guy, then maybe it’s easy for everyone.”


Not every guy is able to win me over like that.

One guy might take a few hours, and another might take 6 weeks.

It’s all based on chemistry to me.

Then again I might be wrong…

…I would think we would have gotten over this,

but in 2012 are we (women) still being judged by when we put out?

Guys, what’s your opinion of a girl you have sex with on the first date?

Ladies, would you have sex with a guy on the first date?