What has really kept them together this long? Does having lasting relationships have anything to do with working together? These couples are in the spotlight and contrary to the notion that celebrity marriages don’t last, these ones have been able to weather the storm. Probably there could be some peculiar observations that we can make.
Married for 10years+
Fela and Tara Durotoye: Fela is a motivational speaker and business coach and Tara is an Entrepreneur. Need we say more about how they help and complement each other? This is what Fela Said to Tara on their fourth wedding anniversary :
“I am committed to working with God to bring out the best you that God has put in you. I am determined on seeing all of God’s dreams for you come to pass. Today, it’s House of Tara, in a short while, the WORLD OF TARA would soon become a reality, the multi-national empire that reveals the real beauty in every woman from the four corners of the world.”
Tunde and Wunmi Obe (T.W.O): Tunde and Wunmi have been singing together right from university days. They’ve always been working together in whateverventure they get into. In his words Tunde tells what has kept them together:
“First and foremost, it is God. Without Him, we couldn’t have lasted this long and secondly, there is this mutual respect. And from the beginning she saw me as someone who had something to offer. And its vice versa. She matches up with me intellectually and socially. You should marry someone that can measure up to your intelligence. We also communicate a lot, and the respect between us makes it easier. I see her as my equal, I don’t talk to her in a condescending manner, neither do I use derogatory words for her. There is also the love factor, but we also made up our minds that we were going to ensure it works”.
Married for 25years+
Olu and Joke Jacobs: Olu Jacobs and Joke Silva grew in acting together, they just keyed into each other, and look at each other like partners not rivals. This is what Olu has to say:
“ It is always good when God gives you your friend as spouse, when you meet your friend as your wife, life would be much easier because when others fail, you would succeed with friendship. Joke is more than a friend to me, she is a mother, a friend and a very caring, generous and deep person”
Soni and Betty Irabor: Soni is a Broadcaster and Betty a journalist, author and publisher. They complement each other and make up for each other’s weaknesses. Hear what Betty has to say:
“The truth about marriage is that there isn’t one that is perfect. We are talking about strangers meeting, courting each other and deciding to spend the rest of their lives together. There could be things that could create a strain in the early years of the marriage, but marriage in itself is a relationship where you continue to learn…So we must continue to feed our marriages with love, appreciate the other person and know that neither the wife nor the husband is a magician. So don’t expect that your husband would know that right now you are not feeling happy. The only way he would know is by telling him, so stop over-expectation. People are full of expectations in marriage and that can create a lot of strain…Let your marriage be your marriage. As much as possible, lock out people who don’t need to be part of the marriage. Marriage is all about what you put into it.”
Challenges will always come in marriage, but it’s easier to manage relationships when both visions tally. You must have a meeting point, you may not necessary be in the same industry but you must be able to work together, complement each other, help each other. Your foundational beliefs and philosophies of life should be similar beyond just doing the same things.
Even if you are not in the same industry as your partner, there should be something you can do together. If you are already married, what were your meeting points or common interests or visions? Look for something you can do together now or in the future. Think of growing a business together, having an Ngo together, or it can even be a series of short term projects like; organizing events etc.
So if you are in a relationship leading to marriage, this is the right time to come up with the right analysis of your similarities and how you can augment each other’s shortcomings, so you can have a clear vision of what to expect in marriage. You can even take up little challenges while dating as a test to see if you are compatible. Don’t wait till when you are planning your wedding before you begin to get some rude shocks! But do it with an open mind, not witch-hunting, it will help you both to know yourselves better and I getting married is worth it. If you prepare well before marriage, you will eventually do well.
Republished from Naija Resource