Good day. Please I need some advice.___________
Some years ago, my ex-fiance got a girl pregnant and married her. I was hurt. I knew I needed time to trust again so I haven't been in a relationship for over 3 years. Early last year I was attracted to a potential boyfriend's best friend and to avoid issues I remained just friends with both of them. Met the guy I was attracted to again in late last year and the feelings came up again. I decided to open my heart again and I fell for him. He is a very principled guy, loves God, hasn't pressured me for sex but a part of me just feels that he isn't telling me something.
I met his Dad this new year and he invited me to a family gathering but I didn't go. My guy took offence and called me personally to express his anger. Instead of feeling like I was loved and accepted by his family, a part of me just felt that something wasn't right. My "boyfriend" is very secretive about his family so I did a little research and found out that his mum was a high ranking official and they were very conservative people, so I understood.
The main issue remains that something just doesn't feel right. He travels abroad a lot but at very strategic times. Close to Xmas, close to valentine, close to US thanksgiving, close to his birthday. Basically on all eventful times of the year. I have asked him about his past but he wouldn't say. After these trips last year, a part of me began to feel that he has a family abroad, but he is so young it's hard to believe that.
Truly, I want to trust him and love him fully but its just so hard when I feel he's not being very open with me.
Today I saw pictures of him doing a traditional wedding with a white woman and I confronted him about it. He said that their marriage was soon annulled but a part of me just don't believe him.
After the experience with my ex, I don't want to be hurt again. Maybe this has made it difficult for me to ever love again or trust again?
Sorry for my long message. I wanted you to know where I was coming from. I respect your opinion a lot I must say. I would appreciate your help.
Above is an email I received from a reader of this blog. I really didn't know what to tell her. My initial reaction was that the guy cannot be trusted and that he definitely still has a woman abroad. That would mean this lady could only be his wife in Nigeria. On the other hand, he sounds like a really steady person, as are his family, so that makes me think he could be honest about his plans. But, if the earlier marriage has ended, why is he still travelling? Maybe he has children, that could be the reason? I just don't know.
I asked her permission to share this letter on the blog and she said she would love to hear different opinions. What do you guys think?