Friendship - Can we not agree to disagree?
A topic has been flying around blogsville for the past couple of days and with posts, counter-posts and comments, the battle lines were drawn. I am a strong proponent for social rights and while in Edinburgh, I worked to promote gay health and rights, but that doesn't mean I'm blind to the feelings of those who feel uncomfortable with homosexuality. I don't think it's right to demonize them as stupid, sad, ignorant, close-minded, judgmental, archaic, etc; which was what it seemed most of the counter-posts were about, or they were providing platforms for others to throw the insults.
See, I can be very sociable most times but I find it difficult to make friends. This is because I can hold different opinions from most people on various topics. Also, I find cliques very confining because it seems that once a group has agreed on one thing, the members are expected to agree on everything. And this is so difficult for me because my mind sometimes works in seemingly illogical and sometimes contradictory ways. So, when I see people I think understand difference, it gladdens my heart, be it in real life or online.
This blog, and blogging as a whole, has introduced me to many people some of whom I would count as friends. I wrote somewhere that I started this blog with my book excerpts because it takes time for me to become personal with people. And over time too, I have become more open and free to speak my mind, on this blog and on others. So an email I received yesterday hit me with the power of a blow.
On said topic, my comments were subtle for both sides since I've learned it's usually unproductive trying to talk to people when they're ranting. However, after the first couple of rebuttals, I couldn't help feeling that the so-called "anti-gay" were the under-dogs and I don't react well to bullying. On one blog I let down my guard, but turns out I yawaed badly, and I'm now left feeling like a leper. My bad.
On gay rights, as on such sensitive issues that include religion, I prefer not to debate, but provide information in a respectful, non-combative manner, and give people time and space to come to their own realizations. Even at that, I have to accept that some people may never change their mind. After all, I did not jump out of the womb all open-minded and informed, we can't all be the same, and I am not perfect.
In conclusion, can we no more agree to disagree? And still remain friends?
PS: I apologize to anyone who may have been offended by my comments on the issue.
PPS: Comments on this post are closed.