This is one of the sweetest things about this February Love theme. I woke to an email from the husband of one of my contributors who wanted to surprise his wife by sending in his own part of the story. Of course I said YES. He starts from the very beginning, so he goes first. Come back in the next 24 hours to read N's part. For now, enjoy Mo'Cushla's story!
I’d seen N in church a few times, she was pretty hard to miss being that she was in the choir and everything. I noticed how she always seemed to be smiling when she sang which I found both endearing and amusing. I liked her, but having recently become ‘serious’ about my faith I wasn’t sure if that was because I felt she was attractive, or if it was something more serious. She stood tall and looked as if she worked out, but not too skinny, she had curves in all the right places… (what can I say, old habits died hard back then)……
Thinking back, there was once a time I would have found a way to introduce myself to her and used every trick in the ‘players’ handbook to get her number…’ But I guess God wanted to show me a different way of doing things ….
I should stress at this point I didn’t fancy her ... in that way. I just liked the way she carried herself and wanted to say, ‘Hey’...But how to do it, I had it all planned out in my head….It would be casual, nothing scripted, I’d say, hello, she’d say ‘hey’, we’d smile, a brief pause and the world would go on...
I didn’t know any of her friends, I didn’t talk to any of the people she hung out with, and despite my confident exterior I wasn’t about to just walk up to her and risk being shot down… (you never know with some women, Christian or not !!). The one friend I did have asked why I was so interested in her, I replied I wasn’t, I was just curious..…. its not like I fancied her or anything, (and honestly I didnt’t) ….I just felt she was a cool, good looking girl and she’d be nice to know, that was it ….or so I thought. My friend jokingly said I should go and pray about it… we both laughed and I forgot about the conversation.
The next few weeks were a bit of a blur… Life went on, work, gym, church…I saw her on Wednesdays and Sundays, but still didn’t do anything. I just thought, it is what it is. I wasn’t thinking about dating, or going out, and certainly wasn’t thinking marriage. Yes, I wanted to talk to her, and yes I liked her, because she seemed like a genuinely nice person. And just to prove how uninterested I was in her I even decided to start praying for her, they weren’t long prayers or anything like that and I didn’t know why I was doing it, …but I made a conscious effort to, because as you well know, you can’t be attracted to people if you pray for them, besides I just thought its what Christians were meant to do…. So in the back of my mind she remained the cool girl from church that I liked….and that I occasionally prayed for..
I realize now I was falling in love and I didn’t even know it…(I told you God wanted to do something different). Time went on and I’d been looking for a ‘way’ to talk to her for almost 5 weeks with no success.
On Sunday 16th of Feb 2003, PAi, (our church senior pastor), took to the stage to start the service. We were a rapidly growing congregation and one of his pet hates were church cliques, he hated seeing the same people sitting together, in the same place, and not mixing with new people he knew were joining. So he said … “I want you guys to get yourselves into groups of 3 or 4, with people you’ve never spoken to…. introduce yourself, tell them what you do, where you live, exchange prayer points…. just do something.”
“This is it” I thought … this is my chance, but N was singing, how do I get from the middle of church, past all these folks who I’d never spoken to, to join her group..
I devised a plan of action….I needed to be quick and not loose sight of her, then I’d accidentally ‘bump’ into her naturally …….As I got up to execute my plan, the ‘sister’ beside me just shot out her hand and said ‘Hello my name is ……’ (I can’t remember her name), I felt my insides fall apart….. I was too much of a gentleman to ignore her, even though that’s what I wanted to do. Needless to say, I didn’t, I stretched out my hand, and introduced myself.
By this time I’d lost sight of N, I noticed people around us all had the maximum in their group, so it was just me and ‘sister show-stopper’…. We made small talk for a minute or two, I told her who I was, and what I did, but my heart wasn’t in it. I was still smarting from my missed opportunity, when just over my companions shoulder, a figure seemed to stop and hover, scanning the room as if looking for someone, I didn’t pay much attention till I heard the words…….“Hi can I join your group?” I looked up and the biggest grin formed on my face….. It was N.
I cant remember much after that, I just remember smiling…. a lot !! (she would later tell me she thought there was something wrong me because of the weird smile I had on my face)...
It all started 16th Feb 2003…. I proposed on the 30th of November 2003 we married in August ‘04…..…
8 years after our initial conversation, I’m still smiling.