Update: Listen to Why should I get married?

Click play to listen to the show and thanks for all your comments that helped make for a lively discussion.


Listen to internet radio with Vera Ezimora on Blog Talk Radio

It's funny I came across several marriage related blog posts today seeing that I am co-hosting Vera's show tomorrow on the title with my SO. Why should anyone get married? Some genuine write-ups from bloggers...

TayneMent's Friday Randoms: "If you really think about it, the whole concept of marriage is insane!"

Anyaposh; The woman and Wife: I feel a strong sense of push-pull tension about the idea of marriage. As a woman, I look forward to it but quite frankly, I'm also very scared about being married. On the one hand, I imagine the experience of wonderful marital bliss with a Significant Other; a lifetime of togetherness; intimacy; bonding; raw sex; raising a family; walking the life path... And on the other, inevitable disappointments; heartbreak; dependence; raising a family; walking the life path... Basically, almost the same things which pull me toward the idea, push me away from it!

Kpakpando; Lagos Lies: To all the single and searching (fasting, praying, self-searching, envious, dieting, exercising, compromising, revising, wishing, hoping), whatever you classify yourself as... know this as you wait for/find your life partner: most people lie about the true state of their marriage. Don't for one second look at the wedding pictures on BellaNaija or read the happy interviews in City People/Genevieve or Linda Ikeji's blog and feel any sort of way; sometimes what you're seeing is FILM TRICK and what you're reading is WISHFUL THINKING.

So what do you think?

Is marriage a sick if not dying institution, poisoned with the bad rep of divorces, infidelity and domestic violence? Will there remain reasons for people to get married and keep getting married? You want to know what I think? Of course I'm married as is Atala Wala, but we had thoughts while still single and now can speak from both sides. And we'll be talking to Vera Tomorrow.

But it wouldn't be a conversation without you guys, single, engaged, married, separated or divorced. Let's talk, the show is going to be Live on BlogTalk Radio. Tune in at 7amPST, 10amEST, 3pmGMT and 4pm Nigerian time.

E-mail your questions/comments/stories to radio@verastic.com or text 1.443.934.9039 * Call 1.646.929.1905 during the LIVE show to join the conversation. You can also participate in the chat room if you register with Blogtalk Radio.

Do enjoy your weekends, especially those in Nigeria. It is a three day one, maybe even four for some, LOL. Hope to hear or read from you. Mwah!

A blog for A Heart to Mend

As February draws to an end with the Month of Love extravaganza, this blog will be changing somewhat. I have started working seriously on my second manuscript and would like to reserve Myne Whitman Writes just for that and myself. I want to become more personal and relaxed here. Share some more pictures, my observations, reviews of books I'm reading or have read and movies too. Most importantly, seek for feedback on the work in progress currently titled "Ghost of the past".

News about my current novel A Heart to Mend will be moving away to another blog. This new blog will bring together all the news, interviews, reviews and events to do with the book. So what about the Cupid's Risk Series? That will also have to go. No..no..lol...not like that. The interactive will resume next month but will also be moving house when the time comes. All those who have expressed an interest in writing should start getting ready as I will send out emails soon.

So as I was saying. The promotion for A Heart to Mend continues and will gear up very soon when the book hits the shelves of bookstores in Nigeria. A Heart to Mend has done much better than I expected and it is all thanks to you all, the readers and feedbackers. The new blog is to make sure that all the news are collated in one place and equal opportunity given to each promo with it's own headline which is no more happening here. All the book giveaways, downloads, wallpapers and buttons concerning the book will be shared there as well as radio appearances and book signings. Please head over to the site and follow if you are interested. It is http://ahearttomend.blogspot.com/

To publicize this book on blogville, please copy the book cover image and put it on your blog with a link to the site (see my right sidebar). A special shout out to those who have bought it, please leave comments there. If you wish to send pictures of yourself with the book, I will put it up on the sidebar with a link to your blog. Tell your friends about the book, and also suggest it to your book club, bookstore or library. For those that shop on Amazon, I want to encourage as many as have read the book, as excerpts here or you won a free copy or an opportunity to proof-read, please leave reviews on Amazon or make a post of it on your blog. Thanks again.

The languages of love - what is yours?

I have come across this a few times, how do you want your partner to show love to you. There is even a book called the five languages of love. Read the scenario below and let's discuss...

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Chioma and Obinna have been going out for six months. For Chioma, it's been a wonderful experience. Obinna is honest, attentive, caring, supportive and generous - a refreshing change from the lowlifes that she has dated in the past. Add to that that he is well-built, intelligent and good-looking, and she can truly say that he is the perfect person for her, except for just one thing...

When Chioma started going out with Obinna, she noticed immediately that he was not very expressive, quite stoic in fact. She didn't mind this at the time, especially because some of the guys she had been out with in the past had been smooth talkers - and where did that get her when she found that they had been using their silver tongues to get other girls on the side? So she was glad Obinna was matter-of-fact, their relationship had started after months of platonic friendship while working together.

But now it was beginning to get on her nerves. Chioma loves hearing expressions of endearment as much as she loves saying them. Hearing those three magic words "I love you" from someone that she really cares for never fails to light up her day. Obinna had only said it once, a day she had kicked up a fuss after a major disagreement. She decided they had to talk again about this. She told Obinna that oh, she didn't want to nag, but he knew that saying he loved her really made her happy. Maybe he could say it more often, send her some love notes or poems, even be more receptive of her public displays of affection.

Obinna responded by saying that she knew the kind of person he was when they started dating. Honestly, he said, he had never been the demonstrative kind of person; he grew up in an environment where such displays of emotion were discouraged or not practiced. He was not used to it, it made him uncomfortable and he preferred their affairs being private. Besides, he continued, it wasn't as if he didn't show her how much he loved her in other ways, like spending quality time with her, doing things for her when she needed help or support and buying her gifts.

Chioma said that she truly appreciated these gestures, but she didn't really understand how difficult it could be just to open your mouth and express how you felt or even write it down. So she didn't really think she was asking for that much. Obinna countered by saying that it wasn't fair for her to prescribe to him how he should express his love to her. How would she feel if he told her that she must wash all his clothes, cook for him all the time and clean after him to show how much she loved him? But she wasn't insisting, Chioma retorted...

The discussion did not end conclusively, and for Chioma, the issue still lingers. Obinna knows this, and has asked whether he should record his voice saying "I love you" so that she can hear that as an alarm ring tone on her phone when she wakes up, but Chioma thinks that is a sign that he is treating the matter unseriously. She doesn't know whether she should look elsewhere as Obinna doesn't look like changing his stance, or whether she should just learn to live with it...

My ideal/dream romantic moment

So like I said in my last but one post, tell me your ideal romantic moment and you may have your heart mended/ win a free copy of my book this February. There were three entries, please state in the comments what you think of them and vote for your best, Purple's simplicity, Barefeet's rhymes or Adenike's love for the ages. 


If you want, you can describe your own dream romantic moment even though the entries are now closed. But watch out for the next giveaway.


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Purple Streak

my ideal/dream romantic moment...

hmmm... Waterfalls? ... chocolate? ... champagne? ... red roses? ... love lingerie? ... passionate sex? ... naaa!

i'd rather just be lost in the arms of my one true love ... location regardless ... locked in an embrace that says it all ... without words ... *dreamy sigh*

too simple, innit? the power of a heartfelt hug/embrace can be unbelievable! believe me ... there's just this indescribable and overwhelming sense of connection ... it IS astounding!

There you have it, my ideal/dream moment is ‘The Embrace’ ... tested, trusted and true...

Pardon me for my lack that much of experience ... this is the best my fantasies (and reality) could come up with ...

************************************

Barefeet

MY IDEAL PROPOSAL

Tis a sunny day as we prance around @ work
Emails pave our thoughts as pc’s quack
Then a text message telling me to pack
Toothbrush, passport, nothing more than a sack
Even more im not allowed to ask?

With the rhythm of my heart going faster
With my head thirsting for the answers
I do as I am told
Then another text
London heathrow 1900

I hop in a cab
Trying to look fab
Yet calm with a handkerchief to dab
Arrive at the airport in a splash

There he is the reason Im here
All over my face my thoughts are crystal clear
It was like a movie premiere
Dressed in a suit tapered with black silk
Black patent brogues to match
He definitely turned it up a notch

Held my hands his finger over my lips gestured that I shush…
Spun me around and I was blindfolded
Absolutely dumbfounded
I was led away till we got off the plane @ GIBRALTAR AIRPORT
Yes the famous GIBRALTAR
I thought to myself wow I definitely need this holiday!

He planted a kiss on my lips as he left me in the taxi
With wandering eyes I didn’t utter a word
I was driven to a destination unbeknown to me
Arrived at Catalan bay
Where the driver handed me a note
“Head to Caleta palace hotel”
Asked the driver for directions
Upon my arrival I saw the red carpet littered with rose petals
As I was met by a chariot to be whisked away
To the rock of Gibraltar as the next note said
As we halted at the base of the of the rock
Surrounded by the breathtaking sea

Once again with his back to me I saw the Gus he said
“ Take off ur shoes”
I looked around as he held my hand
The sunset
His perfume lingering in the wind
The comfort of his hands
He led me as we walked along the pathway
Till we reached the peak
I took a sneak look at what lay ahead
Table tapered with diamonds
Chair wired with roses
Traditional lanterns all the way from Nigeria
Hot-pounded yam with vegetable soup
Laced with smoked turkey
Lay on the table

We ate we drank we kissed and whilst he offered me
His tongue I felt a chill in my mouth
I withdrew to ask if he had just being to the tattoo parlour
For a piercing?
He ignored me even further
And beckoned for me to come closer
To be met by another kiss yet so passionate
And there it was a metal piece
The thought of it had me feeble kneed
The cool air of the sea
Was all I could feel
And there it was he knelt
Said the words and asked me to be his
And no one else’
There and then I knew
I will be his rock
Stronger and higher than
THE ROCK OF GIBRALTAR!

**************************************


Adenike

My ideal romantic moment:

Sunday evening, 20--. I'm 60, my husband is thereabouts that age too. Children are grown and out of the nest, married or in college. We've had a fun day, one of the children came for lunch with her family after church. The grandkids were fun to have around, and life was just good.
They've left and as the sun sets, my love and I sit on a swing on our back porch overlooking the lake. We laugh as we remember the antics of the little ones, we smile and rejoice at the success of our children and give ourselves a mental pat on the back for raising them to be good, honest, balanced children. We give thanks to God for all his mercies and for blessing our marriage. We thank him for seeing us through the hard times.
Then my husband turns to me, his eyes brimming with tears and says, "I'm forever grateful I met you, I'm furthermore grateful I married you and I can't express to you how much I love you and how I'm glad God gave us the opportunity to carve together a life. I will always love you even when you are old and your farts become uncontrollable. I will love you when your teeth and hair are all gone and we can barely see each other over our cataracts. I will love you when your fingers become gnarled and I will sit up with you through painful nights. I will always love and cherish you".

Must it be called Love?

Continuing on the theme of love for the season of February, I have some questions to consider. There are some people that do not like love and some that say that they do not know what love is. Others say that since there is no definition, they cannot believe in it and so it may not be possible for such people to feel it.

Are you one of such people? Will you or did you tell your partner? Have you ever been a relationship with one of such people? Did they tell you? What was your stance, to leave or to remain? Must the other person define and name their feelings as love before you enter or go further in a relationship? Read this story by Atala and tell me what you think.

*********************************

Tunde and Kemi are a young couple who live in a suburb of Lagos. He works for an accounting firm; she teaches at a nearby secondary school. They have two children, a boy and a girl - both still toddlers.

Tunde is what some might describe as the 'perfect husband'; he is attentive, sensitive, and unselfish. He cheers Kemi up when she has had a frustrating day at work; he helps her and supports her in whatever she does, whether it's chores around the house or whether it's projects that she embarks on at their local church.

But Tunde does not have any special feelings in his heart for Kemi. He definitely considers her a good friend, and he is glad to have her in his life - but he does not feel any different towards her than he would feel for any of his other female friends.

He told this to Kemi last year, while she was pregnant for baby Deji, and it caused a major crisis. He said that he thought that what he had felt before their marriage was love, but he had slowly realised that this wasn't the case, and he wanted to be honest with her. She felt hurt - how could he enter a marriage without having any special feelings towards her? But he said he's not sure he's capable of such feelings, and he would understand if she walked away.

In the end, Kemi stayed, because when she weighed the pros and cons, Tunde really had lots of good qualities which she knew were hard to find in a man. They had been married almost three years now, she was used to being a team, especially when she sees how good he has been to herself and their children.

But sometimes, she looks at him and she wishes that he could feel the same passionate love towards her that she has for him. And she worries that one day, he will get up and walk out of their marriage, since he isn't bound to it by the same love that she is...

FEBRUARY GIVEAWAY, A Heart to Mend (Autographed)!

Update****

So Valentine's day is past, I hope everyone had a blast. Like I said before, I received some news last week that added to making it a happy period for me.

1. According to the publishers, A Heart to Mend has been selling very well and they're impressed.

2. Based on demand, I have gotten far in talks with distributors in Nigeria to make the book available across several cities before the end of this month. If you'll like to be involved send me an email myne@mynewhitman.com.

3. The sample chapter of A Heart to Mend on bookbuzzr is among the top ten of the thousands of books uploaded on that site. I have received a widget ribbon and would also become one of their featured authors.



In all these, I know I couldn't have made it without you guys so thank you all so much, I really do appreciate and love you all. But loving is more than talking abi? I reward loyalty so brace yourselves for the FEBRUARY GIVEAWAY. I got the idea from some people who loved the Edward-Gladys proposal and want to have or dreamed of something like that.

TO ENTER:

What is your ideal/ dream romantic moment? Be as creative or as far-fetched as you like in a 100 words or less. Post a comment with your entry fantasy under this post.

All the entries will be compiled in a post by me two days from today. There will be a poll with that post and the entries will be judged by number of comments and votes on each and by me and SO if there is a tie. The poll will last till Sunday the 21st of February 2010 and winner announced a day later. If you prefer, you can send an email to mulan.mine@gmail.com.

The hard copy is only for those in the United States. If you're in Nigeria or the UK and you win, I will send you an eBook. A similar contest is also on-going on the Myne Whitman writes FB fan page. If more of your friends are on there, you may consider entering for that and getting them to like your wall post entry.

You're my Poem (Poem)

It's been a while I shared one of my romantic poems so enjoy...

Your face brings forth the lyrics
Written on the pages of my heart
It is the only one I see
When I search on the inside of me
The brightness of your eyes
Is like the sky after the rain
Their color is the limpid golden brown
Of a newly minted penny
In pride of place is that noble nose
Not retrousse like mine
But rivalling those of a Nubian prince
Your smile is like an invitation
Stretched across the clouds
And like the multi-hued rainbow
I know there's gold at the end of that road
Maybe not as prominent as Barack's
But your ears do the job and more
You hear my every word and make them count
Your laughter is a promise, oh yes!
Of never-ending benevolence
The softness of your kisses
Reminds of lips made of spun silk
Your skin also is a lure and temptation
The incomparable sheen makes my touch
Want to come back now and again
Your bold shape renders me speechless
And just as Eve couldn’t resist in Eden
Truly neither can I
So it’s the truth when I say
You are my poem

The Proposal (An excerpt from A Heart to Mend)

When Gladys stepped out of the gate, she looked up and down the quiet street. A limousine was standing a few yards away from her. Her eyes alighted on it in admiration as it drove slowly to a stop before her. The window directly before her wound down automatically in a replay of their first meeting.

“May I help you?” Edward’s smile was like the cat that got some cream.

“Edward! What is this?” She couldn’t help the exclamation.

Stepping out of the car, he put an arm around her waist and held the door open.

“Tonight is going to be one of the best memories we share. We own the night milady, and the limo is here for our exclusive delight.”

Edward bowed and gestured her to enter the luxury car. She did and he followed her in and closed the door, enfolding them in the cool leather interior. The driver carefully maneuvered away from the curb and into the street. When they arrived at their table in the restaurant at Sheraton Hotel and Towers, Gladys told herself this was definitely going to be a night to remember. The dinner passed in a blur of slow conversation and tender looks but nothing more.

They soon finished their dinner and moved to a secluded alcove in the bar. Edward swirled the Bailey’s Irish Cream in his cut glass tumbler while she sipped on a Chapman on the Rocks.

Gladys had guessed he was going to ask her to marry him or he wouldn’t have gone to so much trouble. She knew what her answer would be this time but now wondered if she’d got it mixed up. Edward put back his drink down and took hers to deposit beside it. Her heart raced faster than usual and she found it difficult looking him full in the face. He spread both palms and she placed her hands in them. Their fingers linked as he started to speak in a solemn tone.

“Gladys, I’ve had mixed life experiences, more bad than good but I don’t want the bad to influence my life going forward. I’ve become more willing to give people the benefit of the doubt since I met you. You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me. I want to be with you, I don’t want to run or hide anymore. Especially not from you Gladys, I love you.”

She felt the tears come to her eyes. This was the best thing he’d ever said to her. “I love you too Edward.” After what they’d been through, she cared about him so much more. She also loved how he got on with her family. All her brothers were his fans now.

Edward smiled at her, “I can’t believe that I have you, baby. I didn’t know it but I never had a full life before I met you.”

He’d simply gone through the motions but was too wounded to make the most of all that came his way. She’d healed his heart and made him whole again. Meeting her mother and brothers were just the cherry on top. He’d told her family last Christmas that he wanted to marry her. He’d almost let her go but the more he thought of it, the more he recognized the beginning of another phase of his life. He only had to accept it and he had.

“I am not perfect Gladys,” he continued. “I’ve had some experiences in this life that have shaped me differently from your usual man. I smoked, drank, did drugs and women. I have forgiven myself of these things and asked God’s forgiveness too but I still bear some scars.”

He brought up her left hand and kissed the back of it and then each finger in turn. Gladys heart began to beat faster in her chest. It was as if everything was moving in slow motion.

He dropped her hands and dipped two fingers in his pocket. “I don’t know if I am worthy to ask you this but I have been blessed in meeting you. You shone light in my life and reminded me that it’s not all about work and money. You are a beautiful soul and I love you. I am willing to share my life with you if you’ll have me.”

Gladys closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She opened them when she felt Edward release her hand and move off the banquette. He was kneeling at the edge with an open jewelry box clasped in both hands. The small diamond solitaire winked at her in the dim light of the bar. People were laughing and clapping but she felt the tears return. During dinner she’d imagined the proposal with him down on his knees. She felt her heart melting inside her and she wished she could hug him forever.

“Give me your hand Gladys.” Edward said.

She stretched her left hand. “Edward, I love you so much. This is very beautiful.”

“Just like you’re beautiful inside and out. He raised her fingers with one hand. “I promise never to hurt you. I’ve asked you this in my mind several times before but now it’s for real. I love you Gladys. Will you marry me please?”

“Yes I will. I love you so much Edward.” Their gaze caught and held. His heart shone from his eyes.

“I promise to love you till I die.” He slipped the ring onto her third finger and kissed it.

“I’ll be good to you too. You’ll never regret loving me or placing your trust on me.” Gladys raised him up and stepped into his arms with a long kiss. Some people in the bar stood up too and clapped enthusiastically. Afterwards they both turned with a smile for everyone and then Edward led her to the dancing floor.

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To read the whole novel, A Heart to Mend, order your copy from the following sites. The book is also available on Borders, Target, Booksamillion, and BooksonBoard; online or in stores. Happy Valentine...

My website $16.99 (Autographed Copy)
Publishers: Authorhouse $13.50
Amazon.com $18.50
Amazon.CO.UK GBP14.49
Amazon Canada CDN$19.08
Barnes & Noble $16.65

Picture Saturday - Valentine 2010

It started on this day, one year ago.



And it continues





The personal pics have self destructed. Enjoy these ones and have a lovely valentine weekend.

Thinking of you. (Poem)

What its it about you
That keeps me thinking about you
Whether I like it or not
You are always in my thoughts
Why do I stick around
When I should stay away
Why do I always come to you
When I could be some place else
Why can’t I just forget you
Even when I really want to

What is it about you
That makes me wonder
What you look like
First thing in the morning
And what you will look like
Last thing before you sleep
Why do I think of you
The very instant I wake up
And on you I also ponder
When I can’t sleep at night.

I close my eyes
Your face is what I see
In the quiet of solitude
I hear your voice
And when I try to sleep
I only dream of you
In the multitude of friends
I am lost in thoughts of you
Will it ever cease?
This thinking of you

But I hope it never does
Cos when I think of you
A dull day becomes bright
And the fears of the night
Are immediately forgotten
I become a beautiful bird
Blessed with strong wings
I can fly any distance
Even to the ends of the world
Just thinking of you

Vision of Love (Poem)

It seems like a dream
But I remain awake and sane
I tremble at the sight before me
What could this possibly be?
I am as a parched land
Soaking up the drenching rain
I am like a dew-fresh flower
Smiling at the rising sun

It is your wonderful face
So far and yet also near
I stand joyfully before you
My vision of true love
Love so completely amazing
It defies verbal description
Love so all-embracing
It is totally beyond mention

The bond of twins and brothers

At the first mention of Efe's name, the next sentences his mother addressed to him hardly entered Ofure's brain as a sudden pain intensified in his skull. He moaned softly. Upstairs Kevwe screamed sharply, "No... No..."

"Are you alright?"

"I'm fine mom but I have to go see Kevwe."

Ofure rushed up, taking the steps two at the same time and holding his head in pain. The nurse hurried down going in the opposite direction.

"What is it?" He heard their mother ask anxiously.

"I can't tell, just a few minutes ago, his temperature and blood pressure shut up and he woke up screaming," the nurse explained hastily, "I want to call the doctor. He said to call him once the patient regains consciousness."

Once upstairs, Ofure tried to calm Kevwe down. First, he controlled himself by taking deep breaths and letting them out slowly. Soon Kevwe stopped screaming. He opened tearful eyes and looked soulfully at his twin.

"It's not true, Efe cannot leave me. I won't believe it. No ... No ... No ... It's too painful. I can't bear it. Please make the pain go away, Ofure tell me it's not true. Say it's not true, say it..." he tried to seat up but the bandages and POP on various parts of his body wouldn't permit it so he demanded instead, "Where is Efe, where is she? I want to hear it from her,"

The tears overflowed his eyes as he looked around blearily. Sighting their mother at the door, he suddenly cried, "But why? Why would Efe leave me, why? No ... it's not true," he muttered shaking his head from side to side.

Ofure led their mum out of the room and closed the door gently after her. Tears clouding his own eyes, he went back to the bed, placed his palms on his twin's forehead and closed his eyes. Before long, Kevwe fell into a deep and dreamless sleep. By the time the doctor came, his blood pressure and temperature were almost back to normal and he was sleeping peacefully instead of being unconscious.

Ofure took some painkillers and went into his own room to rest. He knew it was only because Kevwe was his twin that he had been able to do what he'd just done. He was good with his sick patients in the hospital but on his twin, his hands made wounds heal faster and calmed him down. There was no medical explanation for the phenomena, he had come in contact with other people who had the same gift. Some of them had been doctors and others were not. His own twin brother did not possess the gift even though they shared the bond of telepathy; he knew some other twins had the same gift.

When he had felt as if a brick wall had fallen on him a week ago, he knew instantly what had happened. He was on his rounds in the hospital where he'd just started his five-year internship but had boarded the next available flight to Nigeria. He had gotten their phone call in the Paris layover and reached the hospital even before his parents who had arrived a day later. The accident had occurred just outside Lagos and the Road Safety officials' had taken Kevwe to LUTH. The same officials had also later sent a message to their parents.

After more than a week at the hospital, both parents had traveled while he'd remained at his brother's bedside. Though he'd told no one, Kevwe's injuries seemed to have counterpoints in his body and this inflicted him with a serious headache. Ofure sighed painfully as thoughts of Efe came into his mind but he deliberately wiped them out so as not to disturb Kevwe. Soon, he too dozed off.

***********************


BTW, What is the mystery of the bond between twins? Is it stronger than ordinary familial love? Do you have any special closeness with any of your siblings? What will you do or have you done for the love of a brother/sister? This Valentine, don't forget to tell your family you love them and also show it. Don't wait till they're lying on sick beds or even worse, when it is too late.

ps, So this is a very rough first draft from my upcoming novel, I'm still working on the manuscript. Please give me feedback on the writing too, thanks...

When will another come?

WHEN WILL ANOTHER COME?

She lies atop her downy pillows
Her eyes upon the high ceiling
But she does not see the cracks
Crossing the face of the plaster
Like those on the tortoiseshell

For her gaze is upon the unseen
And her thoughts lost in the mists
As she tries to bring up another
She fixes in chiseled features
In the bold outline of a face

Her creation then takes on the form
Of one of the legends of old
Amadioha, Apollo, Arthur… or is it Sango?
This evokes the sound of thunder
That bestirs her from her daze

She glances around the empty room
But her dreams are not for real
And so she starts to weep
Like the first drops of rain
Tears fall and blur her vision

When will another come?

*****************

Like I mentioned on Vera's radio on Saturday, (You can listen to it right here on the side bar) loneliness can come in different forms and from various memories. People may have just lost friends, children may have lost their parents or parents may have lost children. This may either be to death or to distance - physical and emotional. Valentine can therefore be a month of loneliness for a lot of people but most especially for reasons of romance.

So right up there during this season of love is hurt from a lonely heart. Broken relationships, broken promises, no new partner in sight, no partner - ever. All these are the reasons I believe Valentine should not be all about couples. Take time this week, this weekend and on valentine day to do stuff with friends, family and the less privileged in life. Call parents, send notes to friends, spend time with other people and finally show yourself some self-love. For those waiting for another, ask Vera. They may just be on the way and arrive on val's day.

Read more from this online magazine HERE

Want to hear my voice? Verastic + Unity1960


Listen to internet radio with Vera Ezimora on Blog Talk Radio



Happy Valentine's Day!! (In advance sha. But truly) Love is in the air. Can you smell it? Okay, maybe it'll be more potent next week --- during the actual Valentine's Day (weekend). But what are your plans? What's your favorite and/or worst Valentine memory? * E-mail your questions/comments/stories to radio@verastic.com or text 1.443.934.9039 * Call 1.646.929.1905 during the LIVE show to join the conversation.

So I will be chatting with Vera about love, valentine and what people think it means and involves. Tune in 7amPST, 10amEST, 3pmGMT and 4pm Nigerian time to listen to us talk it out. The show is going to be Live on BlogTalk Radio. Here's the link:

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/verastic/2010/02/06/the-i-love-you-show

Please feel free to enter the chatroom, ask questions and join the fun. You can also just listen to the show at the same call-in Number: (646) 929.1905.

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The main purpose of Unity1960.com is to present a balanced coverage of events, promote the best interests of Nigeria and defend her UNITY. It does not owe allegiance to any political party, ethnic community, religious or other interest group. Its primary commitment is to the integrity and sovereignty of the Federal Republic of Nigeria and beyond that to the unity and sovereignty of Africa.

Unity1960.com has a web radio show called Naija4life on which our own Azazel the controversial blogger sits with a discussion panel. They have invited me for a guest interview. The show starts at noon pacific (PST), 3pm EST, 8pm GMT and 9pm Nigerian time. My part of the show will start around 12:30-1:30 p.m.

To listen to the interview, please log on to the internet at this link http://unity1960.com/. Once there, double click on “listen here” button at the top of the page and you'll be retroactively connected to the live stream. I'll look forward to hearing you guys too, so do call in.

Sweet things you do to me

A reminder about the I-LOVE-YOU Valentine show on Feb 6 which I'm co hosting with Vera in preparation for V-day. Remember to tune in by 10am EST and 4pm Nigerian time on Saturday morning. Meanwhile, enjoy the poem...

Sweet things you do to me
You make me feel so fine
In the press of a mobbing crowd
The way you look into my face
And hold on to my hand

Sweet things you do to me
You treat me like I’m a queen
The most important thing to you
You do all in your power
To see that I’m always happy

Sweet things you do to me
You point out those things
That you know I love to see
You cause me to smile at you
And make me laugh out loud

Sweet things you do to me
You show a real sense of depth
In times of pain and sorrow
Which I cherish as much as
Your arms of comfort around me

Sweet things you do to me
You can spin the silliest jokes
Just to tease and thrill me
Your warm and tender smile
Is a lighthouse in the storm

Oh! Sweet things you do to me
For in this ever–changing world
Long as you're always near
Most sweet is your love for me
It always sees me through

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This old poem is dedicated to Andrea. She really loved this when I posted it the first time and remembered it. Congrats dear on your marriage and the little blessing on the way. May you and your hubby enjoy this valentine to the fullest. And I mean to the fullest, you get my meaning :):).

The love of a friend.

You were there in my time of need
Not knowing the meaning of greed

If I need it, you’ll give your last dime
Rich or poor, you gave me a good time

You did everything a friend should
And treated me the best you could

You comforted me when I was sad
And laughed with me when I was glad

I recall the times we used to share
And I want you to know I still care

I will always try to be there
Whenever, wherever you need my cheer

When you need me, I’ll be there in a hurry
When you are down, you don’t have to worry

Though some things you do may be wrong
Our friendship will ever remain strong

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Please feel free to share your stories of friendship. What was the best thing you did for a friend or a friend did for you? Who is your best friend? It's that time of the year. So send them a note, leave it here to show they're appreciated.

To my SO whose birthday it was today, happy birthday honey. You're my best friend.

To do or not to do (Love and Sex)

So the last poem was about the sexual side of love. Can there be love without sex? You read and be the judge...

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It is not easy I tell you. What is not easy you ask? Abstaining from sex is not easy my friend. When you have no one you love or care for, you convince yourself sex doesn't really matter. It's no big deal, you tell yourself and anyone who raises an eyebrow and goes on to ask. I am strong you persuade yourself on those nights you go out with friends to catch that romantic comedy with those beautiful love scenes.

Hmmmmm. I tell you it is not easy. Abstinence is not what nature planned for a healthy human body. You hit puberty and the hormones start raging in your system. You read mills and boon and thrills and boon and sex is this earth shattering experience. You read Joan Collins and Harold Robbins and the raunchy aspects are described in titillating detail. The blood pools in certain parts of your body and you can't wait to meet your own love and share sex with him.

Why abstinence then? You are a teenager and your body is so ready, more than ready. But you are filled with romantic fantasies of there being just one person with whom it would be special. You also remember all the sunday school lessons you attended and if you're like me, what the catechist made you vow before your confirmation. The years creep by and you become mature enough to realise that you are not emotionally ready no matter how much your body screams for it. You go back to your bible roots and tap some strength from being born again.

Abstinence. Sometimes you ask yourself, what does it really mean? If you make out with your transient boyfriends, does that count? Afterall you did get some pleasure and maybe an orgasm or two from them. You recreate these episodes in your mind those days during your cycle when you are so easily aroused. And if you're like me you put yourself in the dock those nights you wake up horny from the erotic dreams stalking your subconscious. There is afterall that guy that wanted to be your **** buddy.

The years continue to pass and you still abstain. Some of your secondary school friends get married, get pregnant and you wonder at their new found confidence. Your university mates are sexually active and talk about all manner of stuff in your presence. Sometimes you own up to your inexperience and if the company is hostile, you brazen it out with knowledge gleaned from books. You cringe when they mention their numerous abortions, are disgusted when they crawl back to abusive BFs just for the sex and your decision is strengthened.

But does that strengthen your body? Not for me. A case of the spirit being willing and the flesh weak. You help yourself out sometimes and other times you go out with that guy that has been hanging around and allow him cop a feel. Most of the time though you stiffen your upper lip and go to sleep. Your guilty conscience makes you backslide. Furthermore, trying to get busy with church shows up the corrupt underbelly and you lose faith. The choirmaster and the solo singer are having sex so why do you bother? The pastor and his wife wear only Armani and Prada while Brother Puis and his family starve so why do you bother?

You are almost an atheist but you know that's not possible. You hold on to your decision but it's no more for God. Some of your friends you shared the pact with had either fallen by the wayside or gotten married. You're approaching your big 3-0 and your closest friend tells you it's only fear holding her back. It is no more strength of will. It is no more saving it for that one special guy. The other says its just that after rejecting all the previous eligible suitors, why give it up to some of the yeye people coming around now. What to do? Your crown has become a millstone around your neck.

Then that friend gives in to one of those not so eligible guys, and he marries her after a bit. She's lucky isn't she? He's a bachelor anyways unlike the majority married men that trail after you like flies to raw meat. There is one left and so you console yourself. Then out of the blues, she calls you. I have done it. Done what you ask? Had sex and girl it is so overrated, she blurts. You have heard that before but hearing it from her makes your heart plummet. Is that it? All that you've been looking forward to?

But that's not the end. Did I say it was not easy? If anyone tells you abstinence is easy, they're fibbing big time. You are now dating a guy you love more than all the others. He loves you so much and also understands your stance, he is ready to wait. But your friend is on your neck. Ahhh it gets better. The more you have sex, the better it becomes. She is having the time of her life and she wants you to join the league. Bobo is making subtle moves and your body is feeling him. A lot. What to do?

It is not easy I tell you.

Or is it?

Eros...

I have shared this poem before but in honor of the season and my newer readers, enjoy...

Is this love?
When the heart beats faster
And the eyes are bright
When the laughter rings out
And the smile shines forth
When the cheeks are rosy red
And the skin all flushed
When the arms feel restless
And the limbs tremble and quiver

To feel weak and yet so strong
To know nothing and yet know all
To feel doomed and yet so blessed
To feel small and yet so big
To feel hungry and yet so full
To feel sad and yet so glad
To feel poor and yet so rich
To give and yet receive
Is this love?

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ps, the title of the series shall be Cupid's Risk as suggested by Beautiful. That shall be used going forward. Thank you all for voting.

Title for interactive story + February + Moving House

Hi people...OK, to round up the Season one of the interactive story, we have to give it a title, there have been some suggestions. I don't want to bias it by saying who suggested what. However, you can always find out by scrolling through the comments on the last chapter. That said, the suggestions are*****DRUMROLL****

1. About us
2. Emotions
3. Live and let love
4. A tale of two hearts
5. Life, Love, Lies
6. Cupid's Risk

Vote your choices on the left side bar, this time you can select multiple answers. Polling ends after 24 hours, all the best.



On to other news. Happy February - the month of love. As I mentioned earlier, I'm going to have a Love Extravaganza this month. All my posts will be love themed. So if you are in love, have had your heart broken or cracked, get ready for it. If you want to know what agape love is, share a mother's love, review love without sex, a closed heart or waiting for love, etc etc... As part of it, I will co-host two shows on the Verastic blogtalk radio. The first is the I-LOVE-YOU Valentine show on Feb 6. Details will be coming soon...

So I was supposed to put up the poll for the interactive story title yesterday but this was overtaken by events. We've just moved to a new place, pictures below. The move was relatively painless - - we had some professional help and that took a lot of the load off (pun intended, LOL). However, our internet is still being sorted out. I hope it evens out soon sha so I can get back to my blog rounds. I've missed visiting you all. Hope you guys had a nice weekend and here's to me wishing you a beautiful week ahead. Mwah!



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