Monday, March 15, 2010

WIP: Face of her dreams.

Ijeoma was reading in class a month prior to the exams when suddenly she felt that someone was staring at her. She knew who it could be though she could not be too sure. Boys could be so funny but her first guess would have been a guy she had just started seeing suddenly who was doing all he could to bring himself to her notice. Wherever she was, he came, if she left and came back he left and came back and then spent half that time just looking at her as if he had never seen a girl before.

Well, he had certainly succeeded in his devices. She had noticed him all right. Most of the time she was also looking at him when he wasn't aware of it and avoiding his eyes when he was. She had become sensitive to his presence and he was a very handsome guy at that. Many times she caught herself dreaming about him while she “read”.

Brushing “the unknown known” as she had dubbed him out of her mind, she settled down to read. Three hours later, people started to leave and the chair beside hers was vacated. While she was debating whether to pack up or not, someone occupied the empty seat and goose bumps trickled over her skin.

When she looked up, she wasn't surprised. She was looking into the most liquid golden brown eyes she had ever seen and the handsome face of her dreams.

“Hello,” he said in a deep baritone staring into her eyes.

“Hi,” Ijeoma replied surprised at the normality of her voice. Her heart seemed to be turning cartwheels inside her chest. She turned back to her books. “Aren't you tired yet?” He asked quietly.

“No,” she replied feigning a distracted air.

“Okay,” he said settling down to his own books.

After thirty minutes she couldn't deceive herself any longer. Her heart was pounding in her ears as she felt him staring at her at intervals. She packed up.

“Oh? Are you leaving?” He asked.

“Yes, it's getting late,” Ijeoma replied standing.

“It is late, he corrected, “Let me walk you back to the hostel.” he offered standing too. “You don't have to...” Ijeoma started but he interrupted her.

“Oh no, don't say that. I can't allow a beautiful young lady like you to move into the night alone when I can help it,” he stated.

Ijeoma ignored the flattery, “But you....” She hesitated.

“No excuses. I am also tired and its time I went back to my own hostel,” he said.

As they got out he asked which hostel she was going to and she told him. “Ah, I'm also going to that side, you know Manus Hostel, don't you?”

“Yes,” Ijeoma replied in a monosyllable. She found herself tongue-tied for the first time in her life because of a guy.

Do you always read in that class?” Ifeanyi asked trying to strike up a conversation.

“Sometimes, when my friend isn't going with me. It's nearer to the hostel so I can walk back alone,” Ijeoma replied.

“I read there sometimes too,” he said.

“I know,” Ijeoma replied and almost bit off her tongue. She cursed her run away thoughts for betraying her.
Ifeanyi smiled secretly. “Oh yeah? You looked so serious I didn't know you even noticed anybody,” he teased.

“Mmm...” Ijeoma mumbled.

“Well, my name is Ifeanyi Apia and what's yours?”

“Ifeoma,” she replied and breathed a sigh of relief when Lady Ibiam Hall came into view “What a nice name, a good thing,” Ifeanyi said, “It suits you.”

“Thank you,” Ijeoma replied weakly.

“Which department...?” Ifeanyi started to ask but they were already in front of the hostel.

“Thanks for everything,” Ijeoma cut in with fake poise, “Goodnight.”

Wanting to make the best of a bad situation, Ifeanyi replied warmly, "goodnight and sweet dreams,” He watched as she went inside.

Once inside the hall, Ijeoma ran all the way up the stairs and down the corridor to her room. Inside, she closed the door and leaned back on it. Taking in a gulp of air with her eyes closed, she let it out with a sigh. She then opened her eyes and saw her two roommates staring at her. Ignoring them, she walked nonchalantly to her bed.

“What is it, is there anyone chasing you?” Jane, the more outspoken one asked with concern in her voice.

“Nothing,” Ijeoma evaded, “I am just tired.”

“Okay,” Jane replied as the two girls went back to their books.

Ijeoma undressed and got into bed.

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Hard critique please and if you haven't caught up, go over to Cupid's Risk series and read the latest episode by Rene. Don't forget to vote.

28 Comments, Add Yours and Share!:

  1. where can I get the beginning from?

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  2. hmmm..its aite...
    but its kinda just dere. usually, wen reading a piece of yours, m always eager and anticipating the next line but this was just kinda dere. it's interesting though....me likey!

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  3. awww....i really like this. reminds me of old crushes; heart pounding and butterflies in the tummy. he sounds really sweet too.But knowing you Myne you're going to make him a crook aren't you? A cultist or kidnapper or something

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  4. Nice one, i think i have a crush on him, please God, let him materialise.

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  5. Hope he doesn't turn out to be a player...

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  6. Liquid brown eyes...i like...IS it still the UNIBEN BASED story?

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  7. Yes it is the Uniben story.

    @Beautiful, thanks for that feedback. I have to sharpen this section then.

    @Lucci, lol...

    Thank you all!

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  8. i'm in love with ifeanyi already. awww!. he's such a gentleman. good job myne.

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  9. The gentlemen usually turn out wicked tho.
    Mmmmh I could relate nigerian movie style :)
    Love it.

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  10. your choice of words....AWESOME!!!
    Well done,Myne!

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  11. Na waoh.. This is better, i totally like!Why is ijeoma falling my hand na?She's tripping already!
    These guys sure know how to get a chic when they mean to, mscheeew..

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  12. Gosh this was good, glad I came by...

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  13. Thank you girls, glad you like the characters, still needs some polishing though.

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  14. Thanks for visiting my blog Angel and your comments.

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  15. Love it... reminds me of home written material!

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  16. Intresting,but as Beautiful said it doesn't sound like your writing,its kinda straight forward i think.

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  17. Makes for a nice reading, its like books read in the past.

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  18. i love the eye description. LIQUID BROWN.

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  19. LOL... This is such a nostalgic piece... All those hot boys we liked but were afraid to talk to... The bit where she betrayed her bigs gehls image by admitting she had noticed him is very on point as well... Myne really captured the essence of the "good girl reluctantly crushing on hot boy" dynamic... Well done!

    These comments are raising a good point sha. Me sef dey suspect say Myne go Chinedufy Ifeanyi and make him have some dark secret (and/or be a bad guy)... Hmmm...

    P.S. No beef o- I LOVE Chinedu! He and Iphey need to get together ASAP! :)

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  20. Thanks for your very useful comments.

    @F, this is sure no Chinedu, I promise you, lol...

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  21. nice piece but try and be consistent with the name. is it ifeoma or ijeoma? its probably a typo

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  22. trust myne to start a new story and get us hooked!
    still loving this!

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  23. hahaha ifeanyi no dull am,i trust you,lol,waiting for the next part,nice one myne

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  24. i have so much to catch up on...i love your blog :)

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  25. "tell me you just wanted to catch my attention sha so i could keep coming back to read"

    anyways, you succeeded, i love the plot, but its kind of rushing it; there's no obstacles to over ome, how do you want them to know it will last?
    You know slow down a bit but keep it interesting!

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  26. Thank you all so much.

    @Chibaby, thanks for visiting my blog.

    @Tisha, that was a very great feedback. I am definitely going to incorporate that. Thank you!

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  27. hmmm, you said hard critique...ok!

    Maybe its just my own personality but I was creeped out by the introduction of Ijeoma and Ify. He just seemed so stalkerish. Plus walking her back? Before we're told she is into studies and doesn't want to date. So it seemed strange she would let this guy walk her home. Then again, she is attracted to him, but she made it too easy for him it seems for the first time they have interacted.

    If it was me I would not have let a strange man walk me home late at night. So I guess I did not relate to this so much - which is ok!

    Aside from that, I do think you did a good job with your writing of putting us in Ijeoma's shoes emotionally. I held my breath along with her and let out a sigh with her, too, when she got back to her place. Maybe not for the same reasons (I mean, I knew the guy was not really a creep...but still) since she was attracted to him, but the setup of the scene did not make me feel attracted to Ifeanyi. Like I said - that may just be my personality with how guys approach me.

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I'll love to hear your thoughts, thanks!

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