Must it be called Love?

Continuing on the theme of love for the season of February, I have some questions to consider. There are some people that do not like love and some that say that they do not know what love is. Others say that since there is no definition, they cannot believe in it and so it may not be possible for such people to feel it.

Are you one of such people? Will you or did you tell your partner? Have you ever been a relationship with one of such people? Did they tell you? What was your stance, to leave or to remain? Must the other person define and name their feelings as love before you enter or go further in a relationship? Read this story by Atala and tell me what you think.

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Tunde and Kemi are a young couple who live in a suburb of Lagos. He works for an accounting firm; she teaches at a nearby secondary school. They have two children, a boy and a girl - both still toddlers.

Tunde is what some might describe as the 'perfect husband'; he is attentive, sensitive, and unselfish. He cheers Kemi up when she has had a frustrating day at work; he helps her and supports her in whatever she does, whether it's chores around the house or whether it's projects that she embarks on at their local church.

But Tunde does not have any special feelings in his heart for Kemi. He definitely considers her a good friend, and he is glad to have her in his life - but he does not feel any different towards her than he would feel for any of his other female friends.

He told this to Kemi last year, while she was pregnant for baby Deji, and it caused a major crisis. He said that he thought that what he had felt before their marriage was love, but he had slowly realised that this wasn't the case, and he wanted to be honest with her. She felt hurt - how could he enter a marriage without having any special feelings towards her? But he said he's not sure he's capable of such feelings, and he would understand if she walked away.

In the end, Kemi stayed, because when she weighed the pros and cons, Tunde really had lots of good qualities which she knew were hard to find in a man. They had been married almost three years now, she was used to being a team, especially when she sees how good he has been to herself and their children.

But sometimes, she looks at him and she wishes that he could feel the same passionate love towards her that she has for him. And she worries that one day, he will get up and walk out of their marriage, since he isn't bound to it by the same love that she is...

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